Little angel
Maingat kong binaba ang bagong pitas ng mga samu't saring bulaklak sa libingan ni nanay. I arranged them orderly in colors. Placing another one on top of the other and put some small vines around.
From kneeling, I sit back beside her grave. Folding my kness in front of me and hugged them. Pinatong ko ang baba ko sa mga tuhod ko habang hinahayaan ang hangin na baybayin lahat ng hibla ng buhok ko.
I closed my eyes.
It has been five months. Limang buwang pag-iisa kasama ng kalikasan. It was tiring to be alone. Pero ang pag-iisang ito ay susulitin ko sa kung ano mang mayroon ako ngayon. My days wouldn't be a waste.
I grabbed my basket that I carried here with me and took out his military jacket. Sinuot ko iyon sa likod ko at niyakap ng mahigpit sa mga braso ko. I clutched it on my chest hugging it tight before closing my eyes.
Gumihit ang maliit na ngiti sakin nang may maramdaman.
I opened my eyes and leaned on the rock behind me.
Slowly, my hand fell from the jacket to my belly. Marahan kong hinimas iyon nang maramdaman ang bahagyang paggalaw ng maliit na anghel sakin.
Bumaba ang tingin ko at sinilip ang munting paglaki na bahagi ng tiyan ko roon.
I bit my lower lip when I felt my tears. My heart pounded.
The universe gave something.
Something I cannot thank you more for having. Something I never expected to have in this lifetime. Something that made realize the reality of life.
A little angel is growing in me.
Napamura ako ng mahina at tinawanan ang sarili ko nang bigla nalang nagsilabasan ang mga luha ko. God, these thoughts always makes me so emotional everytime I think about them.
Natatawang pinunasan ko ang mga luha ko.
"Bakit ganito, motherbells?" I glanced at her grave. Suminghap-singhap ako para patigilan ang sarili.
"Pangatlo ko na 'to..." I irritatingly muttered to myself.
My third cry for this day. Months ago Andromeda said this was normal. She said it was the hormones and mood swings which I didn't understand. Kahit ilang ulit niya pang paliwanag, I still couldn't get her point.
How is crying so much normal?
I smiled on myself and breathed in while caressing my small bump. My right hand was gentle above my dress while carefully stroking it.
The moment Andromeda found out what's happening to me, I was the happiest on all of Earth. My sudden headaches, dizziness, out of balanced, and unexpected vomits were symptoms.
This time it's not from a sickness. And these were the symptoms I would be proud on having all over and over again.
Worth, our little worth is here. Thank you, baby.
You didn't left me alone after all. You gave me this strength, a strong one. A miracle for me and I'm out of words on how much beautiful this is.
You have given me a chance to have more than I could ever had. You allowed me to be someone who's more than I could ever be. I can't wait for you to see this. Not in my life, I have hope for something like this.
But it was so breathtaking.
"You're moving so much today, angel..." I whispered when I saw it moved on my belly again.
BINABASA MO ANG
See You Soon, Soldier (Ambience Series #1)
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