Remember Me, Mi Amore

8

This is it. This is the time where things could go wrong or right. One wrong move, something unexpected will occur. I hope that that won't happen. I just want this to be done with. I just want to breathe and get things back to what they used to be. Well, that is the plan, at least. 

I have been thinking about the words that Alex had said to me. I let those words that were muttered by him, linger on my mind. More than I should. Ever since that day happened to me, that's all I could think about.

As I breathed out the heaviness that was filling my chest, I thought again in my head, the decision that I had made this past few days. Should I do it? That thing kept bothering my mind.

It's making me confuse--all of it. Because it will hop on one another then another again. Ang hirap naman mag-isip ng matino, kapag ganito ang situation mo. 

Things are all over my head! Oh my gosh!

I just want to scream right now. My heart is racing so fast, it won't stop no matter how I tried. I feel my hands shaking as I let all the bad things that could happen hover over my head. I could feel the sides of my forehead sweating as I look at Luna's hair in the back.

As I waited for the bell to ring... everything is starting to blur around me. I don't know what's happening right now. 

I had decided to talk to Luna. To tell her everything and my amends towards her. I wanted all those things to happen right now. Yes, this day at the coming minute, I wanted this to happen. Because I honestly can't think of any time that would be timed perfectly than this.

I want this friendship to last. I want this broken thing, that will be fixed soon, will last forever. Because I love Luna, truly. I love her deep within my bones. As a friend and as a sibling that I never had. So, yeah, I'm fixing this thing as soon as possible.

I miss being with her. I miss playing and going out with her outdoors. Even having small fights with her, asking for pictures of her assignments so that I could copy it and asking for her na ilibre niya ako. I just miss Luna! 

I also wanted to ask her... what's up with her, this time. Because to me, she seemed like... she was out of touch, and out of reality these days. She always wears her lips upside down. When she also goes to our room in the morning, her eyes are puffy and red. I'm concerned about her well-being. That's why I wanted to do this early on. Because who knows... what happens... if I just missed even one day. I might live my life full of regrets.

The cheers and laughter of my classmate, made me realize where my reality is. It was obvious why they were all so happy. The bell had just rung, which means that our lunch break had officially begun. They can do whatever they want. So I will do what I want.

I watched one by one, my classmates, fleeing away from the scene. I wanted some alone time for Luna to ask her out to talk with me and sort things out. I just wanted it that way. Maybe all the noise that was filling the room, when everybody was here, will put me in a place at peace. Even just a little bit of peace will be fine with me.

As I stare at her head, I breathed a sigh, gathering the strength that I had within me to try to talk to her right now. I reminded myself of the reason why I wanted to talk to her, I did that to have courage. 

I was making steps towards Luna while she was putting on her earphones. Like the time I saw her back then, she was doing the same thing. Her ears are focused on the music, while her eyes and mind are focused on the black scribbles of the book that she was holding at the moment. While the food that was packed by her mother was just sitting there, untouched. She's back to her one lone self. I hate seeing her like this...