Remember Me, Mi Amore

18

Here we are again. Another day, another thing to face. For me, those things that I needed to face was Forsythe. Days had passed since that day. And never, in those single days, that had passed, I didn't miss Forsythe's face.

Every time that I had been awoken and finished eating my breakfast, he was there. With a smile brighter than the sun that was in the sky. When it was time for us to eat lunch, he stood there with his foot with sweat trickling his face and his hand holding the handkerchief caressing his sweat out of the way. Even when it was time for me to go home and rest my back, he was there again. With a smile on his face and asking me if I wanted to go home with him.

Of course, my answer is simple. It was always a no. I didn't mean to decline his offer—I like his offer—but when I just see his face, my mind goes black and my tongue went numb. That was the only answer I could give him. That was the only thing I can come up with. I just started to feel this way since that thing in the bookstore happened. Perhaps, I was ashamed.

Ashamed because I tried to come off as tough as wood but ended up like just wood shavings when he talked to me. Used up and shaved down to its last usefulness. Or maybe it was because of the way my whole body reacts towards him that felt different to me. I had never perceived this way or any male that I know. Not just to males, any human.

When his perfume that smelled manly and handsomely to me entered my body something in me just wakes up. It was the thing that punches me but the punch didn't deliver the pain that it was supposed to. You... don't feel pain at all. When it punches you, it just lets you float. Float to a fantasy where you feel like you had eaten a lot of butterflies. And those things fly inside you like a wild animal. They float inside you as the wing gently touches your stomach then fly into your fast heart. 

Your heart that was normal in beat but when you see him do small things that you had never noticed before, suddenly become fasts. Like a wild cat that was purring for her love of snuggles. Your normal heart then you see him smiles at you, it suddenly fastens. All that things I had felt towards him. That's not normal.

It's making me think a lot in my head and I know that I'm starting to think nuts. This thing is making me go here and there, thinking. I don't know what I'm supposed to do or what I am supposed to do next. I don't know anything right now. Ugh! I just want to go back to the days where it was simpler and all I had to think about is what my dinner will be.

Just like I said, every morning that had raised, Forsythe was there. Just like now. Does he know that we don't have classes today because it's Sunday? Does he know that? Or maybe he's just annoying me again or something like that. I continued to walk downstairs then down to him. When we made eyes, I bit my cheeks as I raised my eyebrows at him. Questioning his existence right at my barefoot today.

"Good morning Anne," His lips were up and his eyes move every corner of the room that we are in. I also saw his fingers from his other fingers tangled with each other as he tries to keep smiling. See! This is what I meant!

"Good morning din," I greeted back. I bit my cheeks harder as we both stared at each other. Nothing to talk about. Just that silence. A silence that I never wanted in my life. But now, it's the opposite.

"Sa'n ka punta?" He asked me. Why is he curious about my whereabouts?

"Diyan lang. Okay, goodbye. See yourself out," My senses lose control and the words I didn't want to come out, spilt out. Everything that was on my mind was the opposed thing that my tongue was saying.

My sight was there to see how his eyes got blue and his smile went down. My eyes got big as it dawned on me how my words affected him. The fear of confrontation scared me. I walked fastly, slightly dodging him in the arm. The wincing of him didn't escape my hearing. But I didn't stop there. I continued on my car and after putting the engine, I stepped on the way I know how to escape all of my problems. Drive away the possibility that scares me.