Remember Me, Mi Amore

15

"Anne? It's me. It's Mama."

My skin clenched as the blinding white light assaulted my eyes. My ears rang as the voice of someone passes through it. It was soft and delicate as if... someone was singing their lullabies in my ears. My hands clenched on their own. 

There is it again. The pain. In my head. 

This one is so painful than the others.

"Anne?" That person called me.

I opened my eyes.

The next thing I knew, a white rooftop greeted me.

The first time that I tried to touch and have a sense of reality, I was numb. I can't feel anything. Even the needle that was pierced on my skin right now. All of my sensory factors were off the moment that I tried to open my eyes.

But now, it wasn't. I felt the dryness of my throat. I felt my head stuck on a pillow that was so soft. I could now feel everything. 

I looked at my side. But the only thing that happened to me was me shouting in pain. I don't know what that was. I tried to look at the other side too. But it was just the same result. Pain and wincing. I opened my mouth to try to say something. I wanted to say something right now.

But the only thing that came out was my voice begging for help without a sound. My throat was in the desert and my voice was seemed to be lost and in need of water in this dry sand land.

I felt as if I was in the desert. 

A desert is a place that you can find where water is a rare item. Yet, here I am. The side of my eyes started to form something crystal-like and liquid. It started to trickle my face as I started to feel the airways on my chest starting to fade away from me.

"Anne, it's okay. It's gonna be okay. Dad is calling the doctor," Someone said to me as I hear a machine made an annoying sound. My sight was getting blurry but for a brief moment. I swear. I saw her face. Her beautiful face.

"Ma..." I can't continue what I wanted to say. I was running out of air. I was running out of things that I wanted to say. I'm sure it was her. In my heart, in my slow beating heart, I swear she was the one on the back of my head.

She was the one who was clouded on my memories. 

The one who is my mother.

"Kahit naman ata sabihin ko sa kaniya 'yon o hindi, she still has a choice. And she made that choice Dad. Everything was up to her," I reasoned out with him. Yes, I meant this and I will not be taking it back.

I saw how my father laid on his seat back and looked at me like he can't believe what he just heard. I raised my brows at him to question what he was doing. I'm pretty sure the lecture is right at the tail of this conversation. 

"Anne, can't you understand your mother? She's your mother—"

"She is not! She was but she will never be again!" Even though his voice at me was gentle, I can't mirror that tone. It's hard for me to stay calm and just breathe normally when he said that right in my face while looking at my eyes.

I didn't want any more of this. With my breathing ragged and my fists clenched, I turned my back at him. I stomped my foot across the room that was heard from corner to corner. I could droplets of water forming in my eyes. It's not because I failed at the argument or know in my heart that I lose.

It's just that... I feel sadness within me. I don't have any friends that I could talk to right now. So I guess I'm just gonna cry it all out. Sure there is, Luna. But I don't want to bother her because she might be busy. I don't want to be a burden. There is Forsythia, too. But we're not close. We don't talk often. She's also scary to talk to. There is Forsythe and Timothee... I hate both of them. There's also Alex, but I don't want to burden him too.