Remember Me, Mi Amore

17

Forsythe let out a little smile and shrugged his shoulders at me. Then he tilted his head downwards as he muttered his excuse then continued to go away from me.

I was there. Just there. My feet standing while my brows are knitted and my mouth is upside down. I felt sadness... I felt... not complete. I don't know why that is. I wanted to talk to him about this. I wanted to say my apologies to him. I wanted to open my mouth and say my apologies.

But when he was on my face and said those things to me. I was there. Speechless, mind blank and didn't know what to do. Why did he let did this go easily? Is that how easy am I for him?

"Ang ayos ng usap niyo 'a," Someone whispered to me laughing. I know that it was Timothee because it's always him who says that stuff. I just rolled my eyes at him as an answer.

I sighed as I laid my back in my soft bed. I can't help but feel the heaviness that was inside me this whole time as my eyes stare at the ceiling. I gulped a thing that was on my throat. That was probably the reason why I can't speak that time to Forsythe.

I had a lot of things to say in front of Forsythe while I looked at his eyes. But when I looked... I can't say anything. The thought of him that being close to me and his smell entering my system... was too much for me. It was too much for me to carry. That probably was the reason why I can't speak to him.

I opened my window and I saw a kid with his mother.

My longing eyes looked at the scene while my heart stared at it. A smile that was deep from the caves of my shattered hearts, appeared on my lips. As the more time I breathe, the more time my lungs add weight to my already heavy heart. I can't help but let my hands caressed the side of my eyes as drops of water trickled down to my cheeks.

The nostalgia hit me in my head as the memories of me being a child flashed through like an album of memories. From the laughter of the stupid things that we do and the cries that we let out as those stupid things gave us a scar of consequences.

My feelings ached more of that things. My mind aches for more things when I used to be a child. Because the nostalgia— as always— was giving me both pain and happiness at the same time.

No matter how hard I try... I will never experience those things again. I will never feel it to my bones that when you asked to push more and more while swinging on a swing would end up your face being flat on the ground. I will never know the first time that when you run away from your friend, you will never see the pole that your face will go into. I will never touch and caress that feeling like it was my first time doing those things and never in mind knowing the consequence. I was just having fun... not knowing that when I grow up, I will look back at that memory with a smile on my face and tears in my eyes.

Despite me knowing that when I do that it will never feel like the first time, I could finally remember these days. These days when I was young and wild never truly knowing what the world is. I'm happy that I finally got to run through these memories without having to worry that my head will ache. Because I could finally remember everything about now. I could finally... close my eyes without having the thought of what my past looks like. Because... I finally can.

The annoying sound of my alarm clock buzzed me out of sleep. I put it out and get out of my bed. I learned that when you got up after your alarm ringed, your day will be productive. My stomach made some unpleasant sounds the moment that it realized I was awake. Right, I forgot about last night.

I was tired of the happenings that had happened to me, my eyes felt tired and off it goes to dream city. I didn't even know what time was. But, I know that I didn't eat my dinner. Because if I did, I know that my stomach won't be grumbling this bad.

I just brushed my teeth and went down to our dinner table. I immediately put some food down and ate silently but hungrily. In the middle of that, our telephone rang. I wonder who that may be. I answered it. 

"Hey Dad," I greeted.

"How are you?" He asked me. Straight-forward huh?

"I'm fine. My first day at school was okay too. I made some friends. But I don't know about my studies. I thought that this will be an easy course, but turns out it wasn't. It involves a lot of sewing. I don't know how to sew. Or even how to use a sewing machine. I failed my dressmaking project when I tried to sew. I hope that this time it will be an easy one though," I said to him without a second to pause. It was fine for him. He's used to these because this was the only thing he heard from me since he was here anyway.

My smile disappeared and the thought of sharing more with my father too. I heard her voice again. It suddenly brought me back...

She was the one who was clouded on my memories. The one who is my mother. Her face was like in one of my dreams that felt true. Her nose that I have in my face. And the color of her eyes that's making my head more in pain. Then, the last thing I knew, I saw black and I heard urgent steps from everyone was rushing to me.

"Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur," a gentle voice was serenading me and a hand that was in the middle of rough and softness was caressing my hand while giving it little kisses.

The song was the reason why my senses are awake. The last time that I was awake, I remembered trying to grasp the reality, but now, it was different. I'm now fully aware of everything. And everyone.

"Happy kitty, sleepy kitty," She sang again as she fixed the blanket that was keeping me warm. I know that she doesn't know I'm full awaken now.

"Purr purr purr," I continued her singing. It can't be helped. Because in my memories, it was like that. She would sing that song to me. Then I would follow that. Because I'm her little kitten.

"Anne? Oh god! You're alive!"

'''
Thoughts? >
yung references na andito... ang dami JCHWJAKA
If you love this chapter, comments and votes will be highly appreciated.