Remember Me, Mi Amore

22

I was humming a song that was playing in my head. For some unknown reason, the sound felt familiar in my head but the lyrics were missing in my heart. Even if I unravel things that are on the back of my head, I just can't pinpoint where I've heard it.

The moment that my feet landed on the thing that I was eyeing, without a second, I grabbed it. There seems to be a little package in here. Which I know, isn't mine because I haven't been online shopping for a while. I examined the package that was lying in front of my eyes and on my hands.

I read the name of the receiver. Which made me put in a place of confusion as I bit my cheeks, hesitating what next move I will do. The next thing that my mind read was the sender of this package. The hesitation disappeared in the wind of my mind but the curiosity and the confusion stayed.

I was battling myself with questions that were pondering inside my head. Should I open it? Why would I open it? Why did Dad send me this? What was the exact point or reason for this? A ton of questions were circling but the answer was none in the squared vision of mine.

I pushed aside everything that was on my mind. Because I know finding the answers to those questions will lead me to a high wall with no other choice to go but back. I sighed as I decided to open the package.

"Huh?" Under my breath, a sound of confusion escaped my tongue. "Ano 'to?" I asked myself again as a beige hardcover that seems to be a book was in my grasps.

I decided to open the book— if it is one. I don't really know what to call it. But when the moment I opened it, I found the label that I was looking for. It was a photo album. Photo means memory. And sometimes those memories are the things that you don't want to remember or want the nostalgia of your feelings at that moment. I don't want that because I know how that will end up.

The ending of the photo album and me was putting it down and deciding to never open it ever again. I already felt those things when I was lying unconscious on the white bed surrounded by white walls. Well, in their minds I was unconscious, but in my head, no. I wasn't at all.

I was living the days when I was so happy and believing that a unicorn kitty exists. I was a kid who had nothing to worry about and to think about. I was just there, enjoying the moments of my life with a smile on my face and my heart is filled with uncontrollable happiness. I was in a world for once, I remembered everything. I was living in a place, for once, I felt calm. I wished to go back to those times.

I also wish I hadn't said that. Because at the moment, I know that I want to open that album. I want to scan every picture that we had there. I want to relive those moments again and let the nostalgia kick in my heart. I want it. I don't care if later, I will have the heavy weight of my chest. I don't care about that anymore. Kasi ang importante dito ay ang mga memories ko. Memories that I wanted to live in again.

My fingers touched the beige photo album as I bit my cheeks. The sound of it dragging across the table was heard all over the room. I angrily open it. The first thing that greeted me was a picture of me wearing glasses, skinny pants and a t-shirt. Jejemon ko naman. I was standing in front of a giant aquarium.

As the feeling of what I felt that time started to hover me and just one second that it will move, I know that will envelop me. As I felt my heart slowly beating out of happiness and my lips starting to fall into a smile when I remembered that time.

"Mama, mama! Where will we gonna go?" I happily said as my two ponytails bounced up and down. I'm so proud of myself! I got ready on my own, I was even the one who tied my hair! I'm a grown-up now!

And... and I'm so excited for this day! Because I cried yesterday, because it was raining, my mother promised me that we will go out today. She promised me that and I know she won't break it. Because she also said to me that good girls don't break promises and I need to remember that.