Remember Me, Mi Amore

24

The tree outside was swaying in the rhythm of the wind. My eyes didn't leave that sight as my headrest at the top of my palm. The sounds of my teacher saying our lessons this day was just passing my ear and not going into my brain.

After the scene that had happened between us in the car, I've been distracted by that moment. For the reasons of... I don't know. I must have lost it along the way while daydreaming about that scene and what could have happened if I didn't say no to his offer.

Admitting to the truth, I felt a heavy chest after I declined his offer. Even more admitting, I said no again after he asked me a question with a full sentence following its tail.

"Are you sure? Medyo importante kasi 'tong susunod na sasabihin ko."

It was the last part that had me feeling this way. Seems like I know the reason now. If his mouth didn't open and followed his question of reassurance with that, my guts tell me that I wouldn't feel this way. It probably is true. Maybe my days will be normal, like just any of my other days where I will avoid him.

Hay, buhay. I pulled myself together. You need to study Anne. Dad will pull you there if you don't. I don't want that happening, ever. Because I know that he would do that. So I let all my worries go on the side for a while. I will worry about them later. My head was removed by my palms and my palms sat on my armchair. I straightened my back and open my ballpen as I let my teachers words sip into my brain and my ballpen's ink sinking in the paper. Life is life.

After that, we were finished for half of the day. All of the people got out of their seats and run away from here. I was left alone when I walked out of there. I was basically the one who got out last.

The moment that my feet stepped out, I looked everywhere. From the other side to the other end. My sight was lacking something. My heart was lacking something. It must've been because the person who was always in front of me wasn't in my sight. I can't see him...

My sight lacked the vision of him, putting his lips up when he sees me. My vision lacks how the way he was pushing his hair upwards every time it was down and while he was wiping his sweat. My heart lacks the fast beating of it the moment that I realized he was not in front of me. My stomach felt the lack of butterflies that would have been flying into my heart. I lack him standing in front of me and offering me to go to lunch with him.

I swallowed the bitter taste in my mouth and left the place with a more heavy chest than it was before. The part where I missed him in front of me, kicked in like a realization that was in the bottom of the sea. It was a deep falling but made a very hard impact on me. It made me had an idea and a thought.

Maybe this time, instead of him being the one who will stand in front of my room, I will be the one to do that. I think I know where he was right now because like I said, we know our schedules back then. 'A yes, back then where everything was simple and every time that I will think about him... he will not give me a headache.

When I was going there, I immediately felt the weakening of my legs and the painful steps that I had to took to go there. I can't believe that he can do this almost every day without a fail. Well, of course, this was an exception. He really is a patient man, huh? When I see the stairs, I stopped for a while to have a breath. I massaged my ankles sometimes to maybe help the aching of it to ease.

Anyway, I'm here now. Standing in front of his classrooms. It was clear to me the reason why he was not in front of my room today. It was because they were not out yet. Seems like they needed to overtime. I shrugged my shoulders as I craned my neck to find him in the sea of people.

But just like a dolphin swimming out of the vast sea, my eyes landed on him quickly. His head was hanging low and his eyes were on his paper. It was obvious in the eye that he was taking some notes. He probably was writing in cursive, just like his mother. I saw how he writes, it was not ugly and it was not pretty too. But oh well, we all have preferences.