A Bit Too CRAZY (Josh Hutchereson FanFic)

Chapter Three

Chapter Three

I find myself blushing more. I find myself stand up out of nowhere. Josh puts some of my hair behind my ear, and I can tell my face turns  more red than the cap to a coke bottle. I take a half step back, feeling  a little awkward. My head pounds with so many thoughts I don’t even know what they are. My heart races faster than a cheetah can run. I notice my glasses slip off my nose a little. How did I forget I had glasses? Were there so many things on my mind that my brain had pushed that little fact out my head?

Josh smiles, and laughs for a second. “What?” I ask.

“Nothing,” – he looks down at his feet, and smiles more. He takes a breath, and then says,

“You’re amazing.”

            I suddenly think of this one time I was on YouTube. I was looking at interviews of Josh Hutcherson. He said that he fell in love very easily, but couldn’t make a good first impression. Did he fall in love with me? Did he use the fact I was crying to start off with the talking? I guess.

            Did I think straight?

            Josh Hutcherson falling in love with me?

            That doesn’t sound right.

            But maybe it does.

            I feel Josh’s hand take mine, and his other hand pull me in by the cheek to kiss me. To tell you the truth, my first thought was I just broke up with my boyfriend, and you kiss me ten minutes afterward? But then I thought Oh my god. Josh Hutcherson kissed me.

            Josh pulls away, looking a little surprised himself. I look probably more surprised. Josh slips his hands away from me awkwardly.

            “Sorry I- um.” Josh fumbles with his words. It wouldn’t have to be rocket science to figure he’s in love with me. I’m not just saying that because I’m a fan, I’m saying that because he fricken kissed me.

            “It’s… okay,” I say.

            Josh’s cheeks go red, and his jaw clenches. “It probably wasn’t the right ti-.”

            “Josh, don’t apologize. I liked it.” I didn’t think when I said that. Now Josh doesn’t know how to respond. I completed ended the conversation awkwardly. I acted crazy and wild and fragile in front of him. He kissed me. I ended the barley-ever-there conversation after. I’m a mess.

            Josh kissed me though… So that means he loves and cares about me? I don’t know. Only Josh knows. God knows what happens next. I wish I were less crazy. I wish I didn’t have that urge to cut myself right now. I don’t even see why I should at this time.

            I don’t see why I should any time.

            Josh’s blush-ness fades away, and I think mine do as well.

            “So…” Josh looks around the room. “You play guitar?” he says after looking at my favorite guitar. “What’s the microphone for?”

            “I use it to record myself and put it on my laptop. Then I burn it to a CD,” I respond.

            “That’s cool. You can sing?”

            “I’m alright.”

            “Sing.”

            I shake my head, knowing I won’t do the best I can be in my state. Josh seems to get what I mean when I shake my head because he looks into the art/writing studios intrigued, and walks over. I follow behind, and see him studying the bookshelf with finished, unfinished, and empty notebooks for stories. On the spine of the finished and unfinished has the title of the story. One of them, though, is disguised so no one reads it. It’s my personal diary. I wouldn’t trust anyone with it. Ever. Anyone.

            “You write a lot,” Josh comments.

            “Most of them are empty,” I say.

            “Oh. Still. How many notebooks are there?”

            “Almost 40.”

            “Wow.”

            Josh takes one out after asking. It’s this one called A Day In The Rain about this girl who spent a day in the rain in the woods and got magic powers or something. It was one of my firsts so it’s not the best in the collection. I never finished it, though. I’m hardly halfway done. I might finish it after The Killer.

            Josh puts it back after skimming some pages. He puts it exactly where it was before he took it. “You’re very talented,” he says,

            “Thank you.”

            “I mean it. Someone like you shouldn’t be crying all the time. Shouldn’t have to cut. Shouldn’t have to have lost someone-“

            “Everyone,” I interrupt. I shouldn’t have though. That was really nice, and I interrupted him. What makes it worse is that it was toward my role – friend. Friend.

            “Everyone?”

            “Long story.” It’s not that long, I’m just too depressed to tell him one more thing that makes me cry.

            “Oh.”

            I walk to the couch without saying anything else, and grab my blanket, wrapping it around me again. Josh comes over too, and sits close to me. “I don’t how to say it, so I’ll just spit it out,” Josh says. I nod. “I love you.”

            So he does love me. Even just knowing him for less than hour, he’s fallen in love with me. He practically broke into my apartment, and fell in love with me. He said I wasn’t crazy, I shouldn’t have to suffer, that I was talented…

            That he loves me…

            “I could tell,” I hear myself say, and then Josh laughs a little. “But I need time…”

            “I understand. With the break up thingy.”

            “Yeah…”

            “I’m around for another couple weeks.” Josh hands me a card, containing his phone numbers and his address. “I have to go though.”

            Josh leaves.

            Josh leaves. Leaves me. Even if it’s just leaving someone’s house, knowing you’ll see them again, the phrase “Josh leaves” makes me feel alone.

            I tell myself I’ll probably see him tomorrow. Then this thought I’ve known forever comes to mind:

            Tomorrow is never promised.