Destined By The Waves

Caring for you too

Joy

I hear Faith's honey dipped voice calling out to me, pulling me out of the darkness.

"Joy...."

"Are you okay Joy? Please open your eyes baby," she says, and I immediately open my heavy eyelids to meet her beautiful, black eyes, looking at me with an unrecognisable emotion.

She helps me to sit up, and I realize the numbness from standing in the water is now gone. All of my body feels frozen and my leg... it feels like every pore in its skin is being constantly poked with tiny needles.

Amidst the chill and the pain engulfing me, her warm hand reaches out towards my face again. Her feathery, soft fingers begin to brush against my cheek.

What are you doing Faith?

No, don't do this.
Why are you doing this?
You should be angry at me. Why aren't you angry at me anymore?

I jerk her hand away from my face and she looks shocked at my action.

Instead of getting angry at me in reaction, she gently says, "I'll clean up your leg first and then apply the medicinal paste okay? The pain will feel better, I promise."

What?

I hurt your feelings, Faith. I made you feel disgusted with my inappropriate advances, and you still want to help me? You want to reduce my pain?

Her hands reach towards her half wet scarf dress to use it to clean my wounds, but I immediately snatch it from her.

Don't pity me, Faith. These wounds will heal. But what I did to you will never be undone.

"What happened?," she asks me regarding the dress with a confused look.

"Don't touch me!," I tell her angrily.

Don't hurt yourself more by tending to me, Faith. I don't deserve your care. I deserve your anger.

"Fine, once I am done applying medicine, I won't touch you after that okay?," she says almost pleadingly, her hand reaching for the scarf dress again.

"No, just stay away from me!," I shove her hand away again angrily.

I suddenly notice her turning pale. A tear fall from her eyes, then another, and another.

Ohh God, why are you crying Faith? Please don't cry.

"Please Joy, you need help. Let me help you?," she says in a hurt, defeated tone.

What's wrong with you Faith? Why are you overlooking all my past actions and acting like nothing is wrong between us?

I hate this Faith, I hated my mom for acting like this when everything was wrong between her and dad. Don't become like my mom Faith. You're so much more stronger than she is, you have the courage to stand up for yourself, I love that about you. Then, why are you letting your pity for my condition stop you from hating me like you should?

"I don't want your help. You never wanted mine, remember?," I say angrily.

"Are you trying to punish me? For slapping you earlier? You can slap me back okay? Just don't act like this, it's hurting me," she says, her voice shaking with pain.

It's hurting me too Faith.

"Are you crazy? I deserved that slap. And I don't deserve your pity. Now please leave me to suffer alone. You should have left me to die out there, it would have been a perfect punishment for me," I tell her and another wave of pain washes over her, making her face even more pale.