Baylee's POV: He towered over me and looked at the window. His eye lashes were wet and his eyes were puffy. "Why are you here?" I broke the silence. He looked down at me with a long sigh. "I dumped her." a tear ran down his cheek. I scooted over and he sat down. "Andy, why would you do that?" I hugged him. "Because I want to be with you." he cuddled into my neck. "But look at you, you're a mess." I ran my fingers through his hair. "Only because we were together for so long. That’s all." he was breathing heavily.
"Andy, you love her." I sighed. "Yeah, but our relationship isn’t love. It's so hateful." he sat up and wiped his eyes. "I'm sorry." I said. He nodded and just looked at me. He glanced down at my arms and noticed the new and old cuts, he frowned again. I pushed my sleeves down and crossed my arms. "Baylee," he looked up at me. "You said you weren’t doing this anymore." he bit his lip. My eyes got heavy and my fake smile broke. "Yeah, that was before the night you left, I did it after that and last night after we got off the phone. It was only two times since I said I wasn’t so it’s not a big deal." I shrugged. "Not a big deal? It doesn’t matter how many fucking times you did it or how many cuts you made, you still did it." He grabbed my arms.
"Andy, stop." I tried to pull away, but instead he cradled me. "You smell like booze." I pushed away from him. "I know." he let his head drop. "You turned to drinking? Really?" I shook my head. "It's ironic isn’t it?" he asked. "What?" I leaned against the wall. "The things we do to feel alive are the things that kill us." he held up his water bottle and pointed at my arms. I pushed my sleeves down once more. I watched him drink and drink and drink.
I snatched the bottle from him and ran to the bathroom. I locked the door and emptied it in the sink. "Why did you do that?" he looked down at me. "You don’t need it." I retorted. "He walked in and threw my blades in the toilet and flushed it. “And you don’t need these." he moved around me. I sat at the toilet with tears in my eyes watching them swirl down the drain.
I stomped back to the bedroom with tears running down my face. I shut the door behind me so I could yell. "That was uncalled for! What made that okay?" I screamed at him. My face was red, I was breathing hard, and my head was starting to hurt. He got up and wrapped me in his arms, I didn’t hug him back and I didn’t want to. "Andy stop." I pushed him away. "I can’t fall in love with you and then you just turn around and hurt me." I crossed my arms.
"You're so sad and hurt. I want to fix that so damn it Bayle let me." He stared at me with hurting eyes. I sighed and sat down on the floor like he was. "Andy, I’m so broken that I can feel it. I mean, physically feel it. This is so much more than being sad, it's affecting my whole body now." I could feel the dried tears on my face as I spoke. The room was quiet.
I ran my fingers over the red marks on my wrists and legs. I stared at them, blankly. Feeling every single one and all of the bumps and scabs. He scooted closer to me every once in a while. "Baby, where are the rest of your razors?" his voice was so gentle and soothing. I shook my head. "I only had four and you threw them away." I sighed. "No more." he kissed my wrist. "No more." he repeated.
"You don’t get it though." I watched him pull away from my arm. "I don’t feel anything, but pain." I explained. He just looked at me like he didn’t know what to say, but his eyes wanted to explode and punch me with all the words in the world that he could think of to make me feel like I mattered. "I'd rather feel pain than nothing." my body shook. He locked his jaws and held back his words. "I don’t know what else to do or say." he told me. I nodded because that normally means giving up.
"Run away with me." he blurted out.
