Andy's POV: The car was almost unbearably silent all the way home. I wanted to say something to try and comfort the poor green eyed girl, but maybe the silence was all that was needed. She took off her jacket because it was soaked from her crying so much and made it into a ball. She was staring out the window and I watched her fog it up with her breath and drag her finger in it, then gave a sad smile. When we were stopped under a street light, I saw the red marks and purple skin on her wrists. I didn’t say anything because you know, now wasn't a good time. I focused back on the road.
"Do you care if I smoke?" she shook in her seat. "Funny, I was about to ask the same thing." I smiled at her. We were at a stop sign and I decided to be nice again and give her my jacket. I draped it on over her shoulders then watched her nuzzle deep into it before pulling out her cigarettes. "Do you have a lighter?" she asked. I gave it to her after I was done lighting mine. "Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit." I said cracking my window. "Isn't that what people who smoke weed say?" she kind of laughed. "Is it? I thought maybe it might work for these two." I waved the cigarette by her face. She smiled and pushed it back to me.
We walked into the house and the smell of steak and potatoes filled my nose. "Yesss." I whispered feeling my inner child come out. We all sat down at the table with our food. "Baylee-" "I'm sorry, but I’m just not hungry." she pushed her plate away. "Oh hunny that's okay." my mom took her plate for her. I felt bad as I gulped down my food in front of her. She got up and went upstairs to take a shower is what she said, but I knew she wasn't.
Baylee's POV: I drug my weak body of the stairs and into the bathroom. I found some new razors under the sink and stole two, one for shaving and the other for my pain. I started the shower to make it less obvious what I was doing. I broke open the razor while blasting Asking Alexandria from my phone. I stood in the mirror and skimmed my old scars with the razor, it gave me chills. I opened up most of my deep ones and then added a few more on my legs before getting in the shower to feel them burn. I had one foot in the shower when a loud knock on the door echoed in the bathroom making me drop my cutting utensil. I was panicking on the floor trying to find it as I yelled "Um yeah?" loud enough for the curious person outside the door.
All I could hear was a muffled sound so I turned the water off. "What did you say?" I asked. "Can I come in?" I could tell it was Andy. "I'm uh, kind of naked." I explained. "Kind of?" Andy shook the door handle. "I'm in my bra and thong." I said. "Oh well, this is kind of important." he said. "Can it wait ten minutes?" I begged. "No not really." he retorted. I stood up and opened the door slightly and popped my head out. "What is it?" He pushed his way into the bathroom and knocked me on the ground.
His icy eyes froze on me. "What the fuck Baylee?!" he fell to his knees. I curled up when he tried to look closer at them. "My parents ran to the store. Don’t freak." He said. "Don't act like you care. You just met me like 3 days ago. I don’t matter." I spat. He frowned not with his mouth but with his eyes and it stung worse than the fresh cuts on my body. "Just because we don't really know each other doesn’t mean I don’t care. Baylee I just met you and I feel like I’ve known you forever. You mean something to me and my family. So don't say that." he leaned against the door and sat down
Andy's POV: "Can I just ask why?" I rested my hand on my knee and looked at her. She had her head turned away from me and curled in a tight ball. The blood on the rug messed with me a little and keep distracting me because it was a lot of blood. She finally turned to me and uncurled herself. She finally let go of her fake smile and tears slowly rolled down her face as she looked in my eyes then whispered "I don’t want to be me." I didn’t know what to say so I just stared. It was quiet again. "I don’t know if I was getting better or used to the pain." she said. "And lately it feels like imp always about to cry. If you are gunna ask why I’m so happy all the time and try to help other people stay happy, it's because I know what it's like to feel like you can’t feel, and to think you deserve no happiness, and that letting yourself die is okay! Even though I know it's not, it just seems easy." she shot daggers at me with her red eyes. "I know what it's like to feel worthless." She whispered. "I wake up every day and look in the mirror and haaaatee who I see." she stretched the word hate. "I just simply don’t want to be me. Everything hurts." she finished.
I helped her clean her legs and arms up and got her some of my clothes again. We cleaned the bathroom and threw out the rug just in time because as soon as I came inside my mom and dad walked through the door.
Baylee's POV: I was nervous when they came home, but I was even more nervous to be around Andy. I just exploded on him and he caught me cutting. I said goodnight to everyone and went to bed 20 minutes after they got home even though it was only 9:30, I couldn’t be around them right now. I repeated the same thing from the previous nights of trying to sleep, I didn’t. "I tossed and I turned trying to find a comfortable position, but I could never find one. I finally fell asleep around 2.
I woke up screaming and crying, tangled in the sheets of his bed. I stopped when Andy flew through the door. "Sorry," I let out a long breath. "It was just a dream." I sat up and fixed the covers. "Okay." he stood at the door still. "Good night." I whispered. "Night." he started to shut the door. "Wait, Andy!" I regretted it when I said it. "Will you lay in here with me tonight?" I asked. "Yeah." he entered the room again and watched me scoot over for him to lay down. He got under the comforter and turned towards me. I laid my head on his bare chest while he played with my hair.
