Attention; This chapter contains things about physical abuse and selfharm. If you get offended easily, then I suggest you skip this chapter. Thank you.
Courtney's pov;
I woke up and felt a figure next to me.
I slowly got up, trying not to scream in case it was a serial killer, and noticed familiar red hair poking out from underneath the bed covers.
Ellie? What the fuck is she doing in my bed?😂
"Um, Elz?" I lightly shook her.
"Ughhhh mom no go away." She groaned which made me giggle.
"Elz it's Courtney silly." I told her.
"Oh." She simply replied, her eyes still shut. "Why are you in my bed?" She asked, which made me giggle again.
"You're the one in my bed love." I replied, and she finally opened her eyes.
"Oh yeh." She said.
"Care to explain why you're in my bed, and how you got here?" I ask her.
"Wait. Give me a minute to readjust to the morning light, and remember why I'm here." She says, her eyes half open.
She's really not a morning person. I thought to myself.
"Okay my lovely." I replied hugging her.
"Oh yeh. I remember now." She finally says. "I'm here because Dylan rung me up last night, saying that you got really angry with him last night because he asked about what your sister said. Then he mentioned something about a scar. Oh and I climbed onto the balcony, and through your patio doors. That's all I remember. I was kind of shit-faced last night." She grinned, which caused me to grin.
I can't get angry with Ellie for bringing up this horrible subject, because she's only trying to look out for me. I know Dylan was as well, but I'm just not ready to tell him what happened with my ex just yet.
"Courtney? You still with me?" Ellie asked me, shaking her hand in front of my face.
"Yeah yeah, sorry. Um yeah I did get a bit annoyed with Dylan last night." I admit.
"Why? Tell me what's going on?" She looked concerned.
"I don't know, I've never really confided in someone else about this before." I say and she nods.
"I understand, but I'm your best mate, I wanna help you. If you really really don't want to tell me, then I won't push you anymore, but I would really like to know what's got you so angry." She said, still with concern in her eyes.
"Fine. I'll tell you. But you swear you won't tell anyone else?" I ask her and she holds out her pinky.
I grin and interlock my pinky with hers.
"About 2 years ago, I was dating a guy called Zack Walters. He was a few years older than me, but I didn't mind back then. He was the most caring, kindest, good looking guy I had ever met. I was young and naïve back then, so I thought I was in love with him. We were together 24/7, and I really thought he loved me. But he then started getting controlling. I lost a bunch of friends because he told me I couldn't hang out with them because he didn't like them, he told me what clothes I had to wear, he told me what to eat, etc. One day I didn't like the outfit he chose, so I thought screw it, I'll wear something different. Well that was the worst mistake of my life. He got right in my face, and shouted at me, demanding to know why I wasn't wearing what he chose. Then, when I told him I didn't want to wear them, he raised his hand, and slapped me across the cheek. I cried for the rest of that day. He kept saying to me; 'You deserved that for not doing as you were told, if you tell anyone I hit you, I'll hurt Zoe.' So of course I never told anyone, in fear of him hurting Zo. Day in and day out, it kept getting worse and worse. He would throw me about like I was a rag doll. He would always tell me I wasn't good enough and that I needed to change. One day, things got so bad, he gave me a razor blade and told me to 'cut my wrists' because I deserved it. I was so stupid, I actually went ahead and did exactly that. Then when I saw him again, he was so mad at me for doing that to myself. He wasn't mad because he cared, no, he was mad because my skin wasn't in perfect condition. That if anyone saw me with him, he would be a laughing stock. He dragged me into the kitchen, pulled out a knife and held it across my neck. He told me I wasn't worth being here anymore, and that he should just end my life for me. He took the knife and slit the back of my neck. It wasn't terrible, but it left a scar. I ran home that day and I told my mum everything. Zo overheard so she knew as well. When my dad found out, he went straight over to Zack's house, and he punched him one. My dad then called the police and got Zack arrested. That's why, when my dad got a job offer in America, my parents were quick to take it, because they knew that England held nothing but bad memories for me. I snapped at Dylan because I've never opened up to anyone about this before, and I didn't want to relive it again." I finally finished my long story, and was bawling my eyes out.
Ellie pulled me in, and hugged me tight.
"Shhhh it's alright." Ellie's soothing voice said. "Show me the back of your neck and your wrists." She asked me, and I held out both my wrists.
"If you look closer, you can see scars, but I tried not to cut deep, because I didn't want to leave noticeable scars." I said and she nodded.
She then did something I never even thought about.
She took all her bracelets off, and showed me her wrists.
"I understand." She simply said. "I mean, I don't understand what it's like to be nearly killed by your ex boyfriend, but I understand the cutting part. You're not alone Courtney. You'll always have me. I promise." She said and I swore I saw a tear roll down her face as she hugged me.
She pulled my hair away from the back of my neck and gasped.
"Why have I never seen this before? You had your hair up at the dance! Why didn't I see it then?!" She raised her voice.
"It's called makeup. I don't want anyone to see it. It's hideous." I sighed.
"Hey look at me." Ellie grabbed my face and made me look at her.
"It's not hideous. It shows that you've put up with a lot of shit in your life, and yet you're still here. It shows that you're a strong person, who could have ended her life there and then, but you hung in there. You did it. Same with this." She motioned to my wrists. "That's not hideous. It's pain. It takes a lot for someone to pick up whatever sharp object they use, and physically run it across their skin. It shows you're a strong survivor, and you can deal with whatever life throws at you. It's sick how someone can say those awful things to you." She pulled me in for a hug again.
"Thank you." Was all I could say before I started crying again.
"Don't sweat it. It's what best friends are for. Just promise you'll tell me completely everything from now on?" She says and I grin at her.
"Pinky promise."
***4 hours later***
Ellie had stayed round mine for most of the day, and we watched lots of funny films to cheer us up.
"I'd best be going now, Oli wants me to pick up some McDonald's for him on the way to his, unless you need me to stay here? I honestly don't mind." She said genuinely.
"Don't let me stop you. Go see him." I told her and she hugged me.
"I love you okay? If you need me, text me and I'll be straight here." She told me and I hugged her back.
"Thank you for being there for me Ellie. It seriously means a lot to me." I told her truthfully.
"Hey like I said, it's what friends are for." She said before hugging me again and then leaving from my window.
I do love that girl. I thought to myself.
