a sky full of stars - louis partridge

words

CHARLOTTE
MONDAY, NOV 27th 2020

Afterwards, they lay together while she tried to recover her breathing. And when her heart was finally beating again with some sense of regularity, she moved down his body and pressed kisses to his skin. His world became earthquakes, landslides, rockets, fireworks. He came so undone that his muscles felt weak, like they had given up on trying to support him. And then he lay her down and lined his body up with hers and taught her again and again, once twice and three times what it was to be loved. They lay with the covers on top of them, Charlotte's head on Louis's shoulders. He traced her back with his fingertips and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"What do you want to do once school's over?" she asked softly.  "I wanna be an artist. That's always been the main dream." Louis said as he ran his fingers lightly up and down her spine. "But if I can't do that then I'm going into probably go into finance or something, become a lawyer and get a shitload of money" she giggled at what he had said. "and you?" he asked. "We'll I've always had that dream of being a fashion designer, so that would be my first option." Charlotte said tilting her head up to look at him. One of her eyebrows was raised. "Isn't there only like one fashion school around here?"  Louis questioned. "Yeah but then there's others in Venice and Paris, more, i've applied for all three"  Charlotte propped herself up onto her elbows, suddenly serious. "What so you're just gonna pack up and leave"  Louis said angrily. He knew she was only trying to follow her dreams, but what else was there for him? He didn't want anything but music and her and the thought of losing her scared the shit out of him. She relaxed back down and rested her head on Lou's arm, closing her eyes. "I don't know."  "You don't know?" He stared at her incredulously. "We have finals in, like, less than two months!"  "Sorry my life's not as planned out as yours," Charlotte muttered, moving away from him. She sat up with her legs off the edge of the bed.  "I didn't mean it like that," Louis groaned, sitting on his knees next to her. "You know I didn't."  "Do I?" She stood and bent down for Louis's shirt, pulling it over her head.  "Come on, Char," he said softly. He stood and pulled her to him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."  She sighed. She wasn't quite hugging him back, but she wasn't moving away, either. "I have no clue what i'm gonna do if i don't get into one of them schools Louis," she said. "Like, I have no idea what else I want to study. So yeah, I'm fucked. You can say it."  He frowned and cupped her face between his hands. "Why? Isn't there something that appeals to you, that doesn't include you moving across the world?"  "Everything else is just so boring." She stared at her hands. "Teaching, business, doctoring. Finance." he listed   "There's so much out there that you're not seeing, though," Louis said. "There are thousands of options. What about something to do with writing, you're good at that?."  "It's not the same Louis,  fashion has been my dream for as long as I can remember, I'm not gonna give that up," Charlotte corrected him. 

"I know" Louis murmured, pressing her to him and kissing the top of her head. He could feel her body shaking, so small in his arms, and he knew it wasn't just from the cold.  "How about this," he said, holding her tightly. "I'll go after my dream of art and you go after your designing. If we fail, we fail. But we tried. Okay?" He pulled back from her enough to hold out the pinky of his right hand.  "Okay," she murmured, forehead against his shoulder.  "Pinky promise."  She looked up at him and a small smile edged its way onto her face. She interlocked her pinky with his.  "I love you," she said softly, kissing her forehead. "So much."  "I'll never get used to hearing you say that," he whispered, gazing down at her. "I . . ." he broke off and searched for words. "I used to think love didn't exist."  "Why?" She asked, stepping back and pulling him back to the bed with her. He was scarcely dressed and cold without the covers and the pressure of her body to keep him warm.  "I mean, I guess it's like . . . the only experience with love or relationships I've ever had has been my stupid meaningless parents, god my mum left me with my dad, and she knew.. she knew how much of an asshole he was." He sobbed

"But now?" Louis said.  He looked at her, scanned his eyes across her face, studying her. "Now I'm not so sure."  "It exists," she said, "because I feel it for you. I've never felt like this about anyone." she continued"I've never felt like this about anyone, either," Louis said softly.  "Does it still scare you?"  "Yeah," he breathed.  "Let it," she said. "Let it scare you. Just fucking feel it. You're human. You're allowed to be scared."  She watched her fingers as they ran across his jaw, down the line of his neck. He  kissed her, until he felt her tension fall away and she started to melt against him once more. He loved her. Oh, God, he loved her, like the moon loved the stars and the sea loved the shore, and it was all crashing like waves against his heart and his mind and when he looked at her, kissed her, there was nothing else in his world except her. She was flawed yet a masterpiece, misery and happiness and emotion in a wild mess on a canvas, beautiful despite the chaos. She had no idea the power she held over him. She could have asked him to go to the end of the world for her and he would've done it.