a sky full of stars - louis partridge

someones got a crush

CHARLOTTE
FRIDAY, NOV 1st 2020

It was raining. Charlotte sighed and rested her head on her knees, sheltering herself to the best of her ability. Charlotte was stuck, soaked from the rain. Her final class got kept in after the bell, causing her to miss the bus. Despite the weather, though, she wasn't cold, nor uncomfortable in her soaked clothes. There was something about the rain that was almost calming, like it was washing away everything bad that had happened and creating her a clean slate. Her clothes were sticking to her skin, but her mind felt refreshed. She began walking towards home, hoping that Louis wouldn't somehow see her waiting and offer to take her inside. She didn't want to infringe on his hospitality any longer than she had to, she had felt almost like an intruder in the warmth and quiet tranquility of his house. But now she was getting closer and closer to getting up and knocking on his front door, pleading for sanctuary.

She continued walking and tried to squeeze out her hair, but the rain refused to let her dry and simply came down harder, as if it was trying to spite her.
She opened the door to her house and walked in slamming it shut behind her. Charlotte went straight upstairs, walking into her room and closing the door firmly behind her. The bed was messy and unmade and she collapsed on it, her mind and her heart exhausted. A sudden pain stabbed at her ribcage and she sat up, frowning, only to see that she had lain on one of her markers. She picked it up. There was nothing in mind that she wanted to draw or write, but there was an itching in her fingers that pulled her to her diary. There was almost no space left for her to write in it, when she tried to search for a page. In the past few weeks she had filled what pages she had left with whatever thoughts and emotions came into her head. She had never thought that it might fill up completely, leaving no space left, and the idea of it brought to her a strange despair. She had always had space to write the things she couldn't voice. To stop her from exploding. No matter how many times her people has teased her for writing in some "stupid" diary.

She stared at the words now, chewing the inside of her cheek, her eyes flitting from sentence to sentence. i feel nothing i am nothing. do i dare to feel hopeful about the opportunity that lays in you? There were so many empty words strung together, most of which she didn't even remember writing, and it fascinated her to read them. There were drawings of flowers and planets that she had taken to drawing all over her schoolbooks when she got bored. She traced their outlines with her fingers. i must be present; i crave so much more She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment, thinking, then got up and went downstairs to find Eli and Riv. They were together, lying next to one another on the living room carpet, playing with lego. "We're going out," she said, sitting down next to them. They both looked up, startled. "When did you get home?" River asked, at the same time that Elliot said, "We're making a zoo. Wanna help?" "A few minutes ago?" Charlotte guessed. "And we can all finish making the zoo after we get home. Pleeease can we go?" she said. Elliot tilted his head to the side curiously. "Where are we going?" "I'm thinking we could go see to the real zoo," Charlotte said, grinning. "You know. Go see some real tigers and elephants." Tigers  were Eli's favourite animals.

He stood up, immediately persuaded. "Okay, we're going. Come on, River." River stared after his little brother, his expression wry. "Literally two minutes ago you were dead set on this fucking lego, Eli." "Yeah, and now I'm dead set on seeing the fucking zebras, River," Eli said matter-of-factly. "Oh, and don't swear." "Jesus Christ," River said, raising his eyebrows. "I'm not even a bad influence on you or anything." "Not at all," Charlotte remarked. River rolled his eyes and reluctantly stood, but he was hiding a grin. "Let's go, let's go, let's go!" Charlotte sang excitedly when they were both up, grabbing them both by the arms and tugging them along behind her, towards the front door.

As they reached it, it swung inwards and Margaret finally entered, not even ten minutes after she had pulled up at the curb. Charlotte inwardly groaned. Aside from boredom and a longing to stay away from the house, Margaret had been the key reason why Charlotte had been in such a hurry to get River and Elliot to leave with her; she didn't want them to even have to see Margaret around and have their days soured. Both of them were still upset from the fight that River had had a week and a half ago about with her, and while they all hated having her around, the fact that she was outright gone for two weeks without a word somehow made it even worse. "Oh." Margaret stopped in midway through closing the door behind her, staring at her children. "Hi." River started to turn away and leave, but Charlotte clutched him by the arm in a death grip. "We're going to the zoo," she said icily, and pushed past Margaret with Eli and River behind her. "Excuse me." "Wait!" Margaret called. She came down the front step forwards them, but no further. "I . . . um . . ." She stopped and took a deep breath, then rushed out the words, "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry." Charlotte and River both opened their mouths to respond, but Eli beat them to it. "There's words," he said, "and then there's actions. I think it's obvious which one matters." He turned around without another word and walked to the car, Charlotte and River both hesitated, then followed him.