Lie to Me

14

“What are you doing Jennie?” I shoved her away from me and stood up from the bench.

“I just want to know if I’m over Irene.”

“By kissing me?” she nodded. This girl is really unbelievable. She seems to like pissing me off too.

“Jennie, I love you but sometimes you’re a pain in the ass.” I shook my head and heard her laugh like what I said to her was a joke.

“Come on don’t get pissed. I’m just playing around.”

“Go mess around with someone out there, not me”

“You’re such a Debbie Downer! Come cuddle me pweeeeeaaaase!”

“You’re going to the mall alone Jennie Kim”

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I remember the day I dropped Rosé off her house and held her hand. I wanted to tell her the truth, that I crave for her love and attention. Telling her that I like her would definitely ruin what we have, but Rosé being this kind and patient human being didn’t push me to talk.

That night, I realized that not telling her was the right thing to do because I know how much Lisa loves her and hurting my bestfriend is the last thing I would do. That night, I accepted the fact that we will never be together. Ever.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Jennie said as she came out of her bathroom.

We went to her house instead of the mall because she said she wanted to cuddle. Her clingy ass is cute af.

“It’s nothing Jen”

“Y/N, I know we’ve been through a rough start and I always manage to annoy you most of the time, but you can trust me now.”

“I’m scared Nini” Jennie rushed towards me as soon as tears fell down on my cheeks.

“Baby what are you afraid of?”

“I’m scared of what others will think of me.”

“It’s Rosé isn’t it?” I hugged her tight  and nodded weakly at the crook of her neck.

“Everything changed when she came. I was happy before but when we got closer, I suddenly became confused of who I am. I want to be around her often. I even look forward to seeing her than my boyfriend!"

My tears didn’t stop from falling and I’m sure that Jennie’s shirt is soaked by now, but she still held me tight, she never let go.

“I know what you’re going through baby. It’s difficult to be like this because people will always judge us. It’s scary to come out to your loved ones because you’ll never know if they will still be there after.”

“I like her Jennie. No, I love her.”

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“Y/N! Wake up! You’re going to be late!” my mom shouted making me stumble in my room.

I noticed the clock, shit! It’s six thirty already!

I arrived at 7:15 and I was debating whether to come to class or not. Being a stubborn little shit, I decided on the latter. I hate it when I'm late so I just went to the music room. My feet led me to the piano and my fingers traced the familiar keys as I finish the song for a certain brunette.

Took a deep breath in the mirror
He didn't like it when I wore high heels, but I do
Turned the lock and put my headphones on
He always said he didn't get this song but I do, I do
Walked in expecting you'd be late
But you got here early and you stand and wait
I walk to you
You pull my chair out and help me in
And you don't know how nice that is, but I do
And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid
I think it's strange that you think I'm funny 'cause he never did
I've been spending the last eight months thinking all love ever does
Is break and burn and end
But on a Wednesday in a café I watched it begin again

I’ve been writing songs for her but I’m sure it will just stay in my journal, I will never have the chance to sing it for her.

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Lunch came and I saw Jennie waving over me. I sat down uncomfortably when my eyes landed on the intertwined hands of Lisa and Rosé.

“I have news for you guys” Lisa said to us.

“Rosé said yes! We’re official now!” Lisa squealed and placed her arms around Rosé’s shoulder.

I felt Jennie’s hand grip mine, trying to cheer me up. I should be happy right? I mean, I’ve always wanted my best friend to find someone who will love her for who she is, but I didn’t expect it to be the girl I love.

The girl named Rosé.

Rosé’s POV

I watched Y/N’s expression and her eyes turned glassy. Her face fell for a moment but tried to smile immediately.

“I’m happy for the both of you” Jennie said.

I felt my blood boil when Jennie took Y/N’s hand and caressed the back of her palm. My thoughts disappeared when Lisa kissed me in front of Y/N. I’m supposed to be happy right? I have Lisa and she loves me. Y/N is happy with someone else now.

When we pulled away, I saw Y/N brush her cheek.

“Let’s celebrate later at the café! I won’t take no for an answer especially from you Jennie” Lisa said. I didn’t understand the words that came out of her mouth because I was too focused with someone else.

Her smile tells me she’s happy but her eyes tell me otherwise.

Pain. 

All I see is pain.