WIFE SERIES: Tears Of A Wife

Kabanata 24

Nagpakawala ako ng isang malalim na paghinga. Sinikap ko ring pakalmahin ang sarili sa nagbabadyang galit na namumuo sa aking kalooban. Ipinikit ko rin ang aking mga mata at bahagyang isinandal ang aking likod sa aking kinauupuan.

Dumilat ako nang marinig ang pagbukas ng pintuan ng sasakyan sa aking tabi. Ibinaling ko ang aking paningin doon at nakita ko kaagad ang mariing tingin ni Kraius sa akin. He was looking at me intently. Concern was evident in his eyes.

“Sigurado ka bang gagawin mo ’to?” tanong nito.

Tumango ako. I looked at Kraius’ eyes too with the same intensity. I was very sure about the thing that I was planning to do. I already prepared for this. I think about it as well and it all ends here. Sa harap ng isang malaki at malapad na gusali na pawang napalilibutan ng matataas na kongkretong harang.

“Yes!” wika ko pagkatapos ng ilang sandali. I formed my hand into a fist and got out of the car. Nauna akong maglakad kay Kraius ngunit nang mapansin kong hindi ito nakasunod sa akin ay nilingon ko ito sa aking likuran.

I saw him looking at me in disbelief. His hands were both inside his pocket. Nakasimpleng jeans lamang ito at polo shirt ngunit halata pa rin ang kakaiba nitong karisma. Naglakad ito papalapit at tumigil ilang dipa mula sa akin.

“You don’t need to do this, Olive,” wika nito.

Kumunot ang noo ko. Kraius was towering over me and I needed to look up just to see his face. Kitang-kitang kita ko ang pag-aalangan sa mukha nito. His eyes were pleading. Trying to convince me to stop, but I was more than decided. Walang sinuman ang maaaring bumali niyon.

“What?!” tanong ko matapos ang ilang sandaling katahimikan. I looked at the building’s entrance. There were four cops looking and waiting for us. Mga unipormadong pulis na maghahatid sa amin papasok sa lugar.

“Let’s go, Kraius!” mariing wika ko rito.

Wearing all black, I headed to the cops. Black slacks. Black polo shirt and black flat sandals. I wore black lipstick to emphasize sophistication and elegance. My hair was tightly bun with wayfarers on top of my head. Walking straight and head high. Like a ruthless person in a movie. Expressionless and my strict aura was still evident.

Kraius greeted the cops before they guided us inside the building. The place was dark and lighted by dim lights. It was all made in concrete walls. We walked in a small pathway from the back of the jail before we reached our destination.

“Dito po, maam,” wika ng isa sa kasama naming pulis.

Tumango ako. I sighed heavily and touched my belly. It had been a month since that day happened. Since Trina almost killed me and my baby. It had been a month since my dad sent her to prison. A month of me and Atlas totally parted ways.

Nalaman ko kay Dad ang lahat. He was the one who closed Trina’s cafe. My grandmother banned her in all malls and chains. Hindi na rin siya maaari pang kumuha ng kahit anong permit dahil hinaharang mismo ito ng pamilya ko. They did everything to Trina that she suffered enough, which resulted in things she did to me.

Nang buksan nito ang nakapinid na pinto ay tiningnan ko ang katabi kong si Kraius. Nakatingin din ito sa akin at agad na inalalayan ako papasok. Alam marahil nito na kailangan ko ng suporta sa gagawin. Kraius might be pissed, but I know he understood where I was coming from.

Pumasok kami sa loob. A small room greeted my sight. Isang kuwartong wala man lang kahit ano maliban sa air con na nasa dingding. Isang lamesang yari sa kahoy at plywood at bangkô na plastik. Puti ang kulay ng pintura ng lugar ngunit marumi na iyon marahil ay dahil sa katagalan na ng panahon.

But what caught my attention was the person sitting on the plastic chair. Her hands were on the top of the table. Nakaposas iyon at pinagsalikop. Nakatungo ang ulo nito sa mesa habang sabog ang buhok na tumatakip sa mukha nito. She was wearing that orange clothes for inmates.

“Salcedo!” malakas na bigkas ng kasama naming pulis.

Trina slowly got up and looked directly at us. I felt my body tremble. Not in fear but in anticipation. I also felt Kraius held me tight. I whispered thank you to him and nodded. Kraius guided me to walk closely to the table in front of Trina.

Nang makalapit ay mas nabistahan ko si Trina nang mabuti. Nakatayo ako ilang dipa mula rito kaya kitang-kita ko ang pagbabago sa anyo nito. Sophistication wasn’t in her anymore. Wala na rin ang ipinagmamalaki nitong class sa akin. All I could see right now was a wrecked and haggard Trina.

Plain face without any trace of makeup. Dry lips. Dark eyebags which might be a result of lack of sleep. Magulong buhok na dati ay tuwid na tuwid. Pumayat din ito sa aking paningin. Halatang naninibago ito sa bagong buhay na tinatamasa nito ngayon.

Trina looked stressful, but her eyes were blazing with anger. Anger that was directed at me. Tumayo ito at inayos ang sariling buhok gamit ang mga braso. Kahit nahihirapan ay nagawa pa rin nito iyon. Nang matapos ay mariin pa rin ang titig na iginawad nito sa akin.

“Masaya ka na ba ngayon? You did this to me! Wala kang puso! Wala kang kuwen—”

Sinampal ko si Trina sa magkabilang pisngi. I didn’t even regret doing it. Seeing how she widened her eyes at me and screamed like crazy, I knew she deserved it. She called me names that were not true. She accused me of things I didn’t even know.

“Baliw ka na!” mariing wika ko. “You are the heartless one, Trina! Ipinaubaya ko na si Atlas sa ’yo. Gusto mo pang saktan ako at ang anak ko! You are desperate!” mahaba at mariin kong wika. I paused and gasped for air.

Naninikip ang dibdib ko at ang kaninang pinipigilang galit ay tuluyan nang umalpas. Pinilit ko mang pakalmahin ang sarili ngunit ang damdamin na matagal nang nakabaon para kay Trina ay nangingibabaw. I lost it. I lost my control and it slipped.

Trina looked back at me. Nanlilisik ang mga mata nito nang tingnan ako. I saw her cheeks reddened because of what I did. Her hands locked in handcuffs were on her chest. I saw her shook her head and laughed sarcastically. She looked crazy. Para bang masyadong nakakatawa ang nasa isip nito at tila wala nang balak tumigil. Bumalik din ito sa kinauupuan kanina at doon nagpatuloy sa pagtawa. Pagkatapos magsawa sa ginagawa ay matalim nang muli ang titig nito sa akin

“Tanga ka, Olive! Sa sobrang katangahan mo, iniwan mo si Atlas! Ikaw na mamamatay-tao! Ikaw ang dapat makulong, hindi ako!” sigaw nito.

“You—”

Kraius stopped me when I was about to walk closely to Trina. Hinawakan nito ang aking baywang gamit ang isang kamay, kaya naman nilingon ko ito sa aking likuran. Nagtataka ko itong tiningnan. I saw him shook his head.

“Tama na, Olive. Nakaganti ka na,” anas nito. Katulad kanina ay nag-aalalang tingin ang iginawad nito sa akin. “Umuwi na tayo. Please,” pakiusap nito.

Umiling ako. “I’m sorry, Kraius, but just this once. Para sa akin at sa baby ko. Please.”

Kraius released a heavy sigh and nodded. Pinakawalan niya rin ako at lumayo nang bahagya. I looked at Trina again and saw her looking at me too. Naroon pa rin ang nakalolokong ngiti nito sa labi habang umiiling.

I walked closely to the table and put my two hands on top of it. I was towering Trina she needed to look up just to see my face. Mariin pa rin ang titig nito sa akin, ngunit mas mariin ang titig ko sa kaniya.

“You deserve all this, Trina. Kulang pa sa lahat ng ginawa mo sa akin.” Sinampal ko ulit ito sa mukha. “Dapat sa mga katulad mong kabit, lumulugar!” I slapped her again and she accepted it.

I slapped her again and again until my heart’s content, but my feeling was still the same. I might look desperate, but I wanted to do this. Sa rami ng mga pagkakataong pinalampas ko, kahit papaano ay gusto kong makaganti. Gusto ko siyang saktan. Gusto kong ipamukha sa kaniya na kahit kailan, siya pa rin ang talo sa aming dalawa. Na sa akin pa rin ang huling halakhak.

Ngunit kapag naaalala ko ang puno’t dulo kung bakit kami napunta sa ganito, nanghihina ako. Nawawala ang lahat ng tapang ko at napapalitan iyon ng pait. Dahil ang totoo, ako ang talo.

Ako ang talo dahil kahit inamin ni Atlas na mahal niya ako, hindi ko alam kung nagsasabi ba siya ng totoo. Mas lalo niyang ginulo ang isip at puso ko.

@sheinAlthea