Shoving my hands in pockets, I walk away from the door.
Snow melting on fresh white flowers I'm holding.
I remember the screaming and shoutings inside that house, now I dread even opening that front door.
Never coming to conclusions, never agreeing with eachother's thoughts and perspectives.
Your expectations cramping my potential, I never felt that much pressured. But still I tried to fulfill my duties. I know we were not always eachother's comfort, lecturing me about life.
But you were my beloved company.
Now... That I stand above the ground and you beneath the dirt, with flowers of regret in my hands I tremble with frustration.
Praying Infront of your grave, I feel numb and cold.
Why the hell did you had to teach me about "worth" like this.
Gritting my teeth, I let my emotions get the hold of me. All the tears that never dared leave my eyes on your funeral...now I set them free.
Why the hell did you had to teach me about "warmth" like this.
I can't even see you now, I can't hear your voice. I can't get scolded, I can't touch your hands.
Dear Mother,
Why the hell did you had to teach me about "love" like this.
I know I am not the best son you had, but you didn't had to be that angry with me and leave me forever.
What am I supposed to do now?
Will I ever find someone like you?
No...
I won't...
You're so far away from me, a place where I can't reach.
You loved me no matter what I did
Cared for me no matter what I said
Is it too late to say sorry for all the wrong doings?
Sitting across the tombstone, I desperately search for that kindness once again.
Mom, I want to fight with you, then laugh together in the end.
I want you to scold me, then say a comment to make me feel better.
I want you to forcefully give me food, even though we had an argument late that night.
Now... I have no one who will worry about me.
They say "Regret is stronger than gratefulness." yes..now I understand.
Now I have no one who will see what you saw in me.
Why the hell did you had to teach me about "life" like this.
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YOU ARE READING
My Messed Up Mind
Fantasy"It is a tour, for you to know what's its like to live inside my mind. Feel free to roam but pls, don't get lost." All the stories and ideas are from my imagination plz do not copy or reupload anywhere :) or I'll haunt you so, don't complain about...
