Chasing Sparks

Chapter 28.1

Celie had not spoken since the incident the previous day. She had continued in silence shunning any attempt by Alona to engage her in conversation. So it was ironic as they sat down around the fire that evening, warming themselves, that it was Celie who turned to Alona and said, "How do you live with yourself?"

Alona sighed. "It gets easier with time," and after a short pause added, "I try to remember my homeland as often as possible. This helps remind me why I'm doing this. When I hear about the Gardens, the way they have flourished in the last fifteen years, I remind myself that it's in part because of me."

Celie slowly shook her head and said, "How many innocents have you murdered."

"I do not keep count of the affines I've killed," Alona replied. "But most were definitely not innocent. It is rare to find a strong affine like yesterday, who was so clearly undeserving of their fate. A lot of them find themselves mixed up in crime before too long. They are often far from innocent."

Alona paused and looked off into the distance. "But I know by looking at the Gardens, and the good it does for the world, the number of people who have been saved because of Gardens far outweighs the number of people I've killed."

Celie whispered mostly to herself, "That doesn't make it right."

Alona heard and whispered in reply, "I know, but it helps me."

Alona sat in silence for a little while just looking up at the stars before saying, "It is also worth reflecting on the fact if you had not have killed that woman yesterday. You would now be dead. Mabel Forest would be in disgrace. Any agreement you had with the Council would be ripped up. The Houses would be taking advantage of the resulting anti-Forester sentiment. Many Foresters would be dying as we speak tonight, probably in defense of their homes. You avoided all that."

Celie shook her head again and quietly said, "That doesn't make it right,"

"Of course not." Alona said plainly. "You killed a young woman in cold blood in front of her mother. Nothing will ever make that right. But if you had not then ..." And she just let her voice trail off.

Celie changed her tone to a hiss. "What about him?" She said gesturing at Tiel. "He seems to enjoy this."

"Watch him closely," Alona said, "I think you may be surprised at what you see."

"You sound like you are defending him," Celie said, failing to keep the scorn from her words.

Alona looked at Celie. "Which would be worse. Killing an innocent person yourself, or ordering someone else to do it."

"He had a choice," Celie said, her anger rising, surprised that Alona was defending Tiel's actions. "We could have just walked away."

Alona stared into the fire. "Are you sure he had a choice?" she said quietly under her breath.

"Of course he did," Celie said.

Alona watched the flames dancing in front of her eyes, as she looked into the fire. She knew better. Tiel had had no choice. Besides, Celie had to be shown what she had become sooner or later, and yesterday was a good opportunity.

Alona could feel the warmth of the fire directly on her face now. "Remember one more thing," she added to Celie. "You tried to kill Tiel yesterday. What consequences have you faced?"

Celie just shrugged.

"Nothing." Alona said. "You tried to kill him and he has not even mentioned it to you. He has just left you to yourself. He understands the pain of what he asked you to do."

Alona paused, as if realising something for herself. "He expected you to try to kill him and has accepted such things as part of his job."

Celie was not really sure what to say, so she said nothing.