All for you

Chapter 25

With the quiet area instantly invaded with tension, I sat as patiently as I possibly could waiting for the words I was frantic to know to leave her lips. As I watched her eyes desperately searching for something to focus on other than my own, I finally reached out for her hand, giving it an encouraging squeeze with my favourite colour of grey soon looking directly towards me as the words began trailing out of her mouth.

"That morning I kicked you out..." she started with her voice cracking whilst I moved our joined palms to sit on my lap forcing her to move closer, "the morning I kicked you out I heard a conversation on your phone"

"Wha-" I started trying to get enough information as possible considering the length of my confusion at this moment.

"Let me finish" she spoke sternly, giving me a warning glance which I found more sexy than serious, "you went to the shop for a few things when you woke up and I forgot to ask you for some shit so I tried to call you. When I did, your phone started vibrating and I realised you must have forgotten it but I also saw a notification pop up on your phone."

Watching as she took a deep breath, I moved closer in desperate need of hearing what the fuck she found to make that day the worst one of my life.

"I saw a text from an unknown number. At first, I thought it could have been one of your friends or maybe even your mum with a new phone but then I watched the video attached. I don't remember exactly what you said, but it was a conversation between you and Jack on a night out."

As soon as the words left her lips, I knew exactly what video she was talking about. For months on end the same fucking person someone found my private Instagram and sent me the video every couple of days. I blocked the prick as many times as I could but they'd just make a new account to throw my shit fucking drunk words right back at my face.

"Jo, I swear I can fucking explain" I interrupted earning a confused look in return.

"I deleted that video from your phone Hero, I blocked the number as well, you've never seen it" she spoke with an annoyed look crossing her features.

"I've seen it Jo, some shithead found my personal Instagram and started sending it to me every fucking day"

"Oh" she spoke simply as I asked if it was okay for me to continue.

With an encouraging nod, I begin my reasoning for ever saying the shitty words I found myself every day regretting, "that night when I went out with Jack we'd had that argument about distance over FaceTime." I said instantly earning a look to instruct she knew exactly what conversation I was on about.

"I was more fucking angry at myself than at you, I hated being so far from you but I found the idea of leaving so much shit behind so bloody hard. I realise now I was just some fucked up prick who didn't realise what pain really was. I went out with the lads that night and got fucked of my head, I said some shit that I swear on everything I never meant. I was stupid, fuck I was a dick, but I promise you Jo, I never meant any of that shit."

"You wouldn't have said it if you didn't mean it" she spoke, with tears now travelling down both of her cheeks. I made the love of my life cry, what a fuck up I am

"Baby, look at me" I said pulling her closer to me before grabbing her chin in the most delicate manner possible, "I need you to trust me Jo. That night I was broken from being so far away from you with our shitty argument as well and I lashed out. I don't know how that video ever got recorded or quite frantically how the dickhead ever found my number but what I do know is whatever the fuck I said that night was nothing but bullshit."

Realising what all this shit has spouted from had made me angrier than I'd ever fucking found my self before. One thing was sure, whoever this son of a bitch was, I was going to find out and make their life just as shit as they'd already made my'n. I'd missed jo finding out she was pregnant, her first appointment, his first kick, all of it because of the combination of a stupid drunken prick and a bitch who I would kill if I ever was lucky another to lay my hands on.

"And the thing with Chanel, was that bullshit as well?" She asked in a way which told me she was more than hurt by the picture surfacing online than I ever could have imagined.

"You have to understand how much you hurt me when you kicked me out Jo. You packed my bags and sent me home, I spent weeks drinking every night when I got home." I spoke causing her tear stained eyes to look my way as a sign of guilt I never wished her to feel became prominent.

"The night with that bitch was nothing more than her taking advantage of that. I was out of it, didn't have a fucking clue what I was doing and she took a picture of us. Felix dragged her of me as soon as he realised but she posted that shit before I even gained consciousness. Then with that night I called you, she started banging down my door like a fucking psycho"

"Why didn't we try harder Hero?" She asked after several moments of silence as tears were now evidently falling down both of our cheeks, "why do we always fuck up? We really have never meant to be together"

"Excuse me? I didn't even know what the fuck love was before I met you Josephine Langford. Yeah, we've argued and fought but it's only made us stronger, and so will this Jo. I swore to myself before I left London I was never letting go of my soulmate ever again, and I'm keeping to my promise this time. You and this little guy, " I paused rubbing my hands over the area our son was currently extra active in, "mean everything in this world to me. I couldn't give a shit about anything else as long as I have the two of you"

"I remember that night you read that quote to me from the last book, "You won't know how lucky you are to be able to spend your life with the other half of your soul until you have to spend your life without them.". I never really thought about it until I left but shit did I get that. I spent a few fucking weeks from you and I felt like I was dying, please baby, I beg you can we forget this shit an-"

Without allowing me time to finish, she launched up finding the strength to pull me up with her before wrapping her arms straight around my waist, "I've missed you so fucking much Hero"

Wiping the tears running down each of her cheeks from her face, I looked straight in her eyes muttering the words "I've missed you more baby, more than you'll possibly know" before leaning down to place a gentle kiss on her forehead.