All for you

Prologue

'So this is it then?' came the broken voice of the man who'd stolen my every thought over the past 2 years, 'You're really giving up on us Jo?'. With each passing syllable, a rush of guilt swam over me faster than wildlife forcing me to consistently remind myself of my reasoning for doing this. With bloodshot eyes, I carried his remaining suitcases forward forcing my orbs away from his well-sculptured face, desperately holding onto the hope he wouldn't make this any more difficult than what I'm already finding it to be.

'Jo baby please' he begged as his body collapsed to the ground leaving the remaining slice of his composure behind, 'Just tell me what I did and ill fix it. I'll do anything' he spoke as tears littered down both his cheeks. Piece by piece, my heart began to shatter as the sight of the man I loved, slowly starting to cloud my best judgment.

'You should go' I announced, forcing myself to follow through with my plans taking the small piece of rationality back into my grasp. Opening the door to my apartment as wide as possible, his feet marched forward taking me completely of guard and using little of his strength to close the entrance.

'If you think I'm leaving without a fucking explanation Josephine you're delusional' he practically screamed, unleashing his anger at my sudden change of heart. 'Hero-' I started before being cut off as his hand ran through his gelled-back hair.

'No Jo, I don't want none of your lame-ass excuses' he paused, 'I want you to tell me what the fuck changed between now and last night' he said referring to our perfectly normal state just hours before. 'What the fuck did I do wrong for you to kick me out baby' his voice cracking as his tone gets softer nearing the ends of his sentence. 'Look at me' he begged as he gently grabbed the base of my chin, finally forcing the eye contact id been most avoiding during the enterity of our conversation.

The green usually so bright in his eyes seemed dim, almost lifeless as the dimples once prominent on both his cheeks seemed like only a distant memory. His nose twitched as his tears swam towards his upper lip, struggling as they passed over the small amount of facial hair he'd decided to grow out before dropping to the wooden floorboards.

'If you go now Hero, you'll be able to fly out before lockdown' my voice announced referring to the pandemic that seemed to now be in control of every movement we make. 'I booked you a flight' I said passing over the details I had managed to print off before his return from the shop this morning, 'All you have to do is grab a cab and-'

'I don't want to jump in a fucking taxi Josephine don't you understand' he filled the room with his anguish, 'I want to stay in this apartment with you. I wanna keep you safe from the shit that's going on right now Jo, I wanna know my girlfriend is healthy. I couldn't give a fuck about the rest of the world'. His glare itself made my whole body shiver with lust, the only thing allowing me to move forward being the truth scarred to the tissue lining my brain.

'Don't you love me anymore Jo?' he questioned, keeping a neutral look in front of the heartbroken one I knew he was hiding as my eyes once again met the ground. With no response leaving my lips, he repeated his question only sounding more desperate grabbing my chin like it was delicate 'I said do you fucking love me, Josephine'.

I knew that reality was finally settling in by the tone of his voice, the tears once pouring now turning into a light drizzle. It would take one final word for him to make his exit, leaving behind a mind full of memories and one already broken heart.

'No' I simply stated, using all the courage I had gathered to announce the word he didn't know was causing me so much pain. To him, he probably thought I felt nothing as no sign of remorse was presented. To me, my entire world came crashing down with one single syllable.

Before I know it, his hand dropped from my face as he rushed towards the bags littering around my apartment. With no typical second glance back from his over 6ft frame, he alerted me of his departure as the slam of the door echoed off the walls.

Within seconds of realization, I found myself hiding between my knees laying on the ground. My cries replaced the previous noise between the four walls and I silently prayed I was doing the right thing. Not for me, but for the man I'll never stop loving.