Season Series : Before March 4

CHAPTER 13

Day 13
February 16

I woke really... really... really strange... yet familliar with the feeling.

Dying

Craving for air.

Tagatak ang pawis ko kahit na nakabukas ang aircon, my chest hurts, dahan dahan akong umupo at pinantay ang likuran ko hamba ng kama. I first calm myself, my heart. I took several deep breath with eye close.

I felt a sudden relieve after a couple of minutes... at tuluyan ng bumalik ang kalagayan ko sa tama.

Inhale..... exhale...

Inhale.... exhale....

Inhale.... exhale...

Matapos ang tatlong mabibigat na paghinga sumunod na tumunog ang alarm clock ko. Pinatay ko 'yun agad at bumangon na sa kama. Dumiretso ako sa cabinet ng CR, pagbukas ko...

Tumambad sa'kin ang sandamangkal na gamot. My medicines... mahigit dalampu ang bilang nilang lahat, iba-iba ang description at label, iba ibang bote. Mabigat na hangin muli ang binuntong hininga ko at humigpit ang hawak sa pintuan ng cabinet. After 3 years I didn't know that I'll face them again. Some of them expired last year and I'll just ending up dying soon.

Tumungo ako. I didn't realize that I could feel this again. Stupid heart. Or is it really my heart, or because of that stupid dying suck-up-girl?

"Yep..... mamamatay na ako."

Tumama ang palad ko sa marmol na lababo dahil sa sakit na naramdaman ko sa dibdib ko nang sabihin niya 'yun. Hinabol ko muli ang hangin and can't quit thinking about her last words last night. Oh women!

"Why are you doing this to me?"

I was in the middle of that when I heard knock on my door. "Piter? Gising kanaba? Kain na, nag-iintay na si Mama and Papa mo." Si manang pala. I've done once again my breathing habbit before answering.

"Okay po, baba na po ako."

"Okay!" Pagkaalis ni manang agad kong binuksan ang cabinet at kinuha ang laging new stock kong gamot sa mga ganitong sitwasyon. My beta blocker.

Metoprolol

Tinapos ko na ang morning routine ko at sumunod sa baba. Nadatnan ko sila mama at Papa na nagke-kwentuhan tungkol sa kanilang mga trabaho nang mapansin nila ako, agad silang ngumiti saakin.

My mother and father is sweet as honey, I know... they are really far from me, cold and emotionless. Pag-upo ko sa posisyon ko ay nagdasal muna si Papa bago namin simulan ang pagkain.

"How was your week?" Tanong ni mama. Tinigil ko ang paghiwa sa pancake at ngumiti ng pilit.

"Yep...... mamamatay na ako."

"It was good..." I control the pain in my chest. "It was quiet as ussual." I waited for their answer pero wala akong nakuha kaya tinignan ko sila, they have this weird look in their eyes. "Why?"

"Was is too quiet?" Papa ask.

"Yep."

"Is it a little lonely? I mean, you should make some noise." Dear father, if you only knew how noisy is my life because of that nosy woman. Wala pa akong kaibigan gento na kaingay buhay ko paano pa kaya kung me'ron. And, I-I'm not interested.

"I'm fine po."

"No it's not anak," komento ni mama. "You also have to experience how interesting high school life with noisy friends." At tumawa si Mama na parang may naalala sa nakaraan niya. I silently cut my pancake. Nosy friends Ma, not just noisy.