chapter fifty-one; spring ball "For what? Telling him? Or going after him?"
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Lucy Reese Collins
THE GREAT HALL IS ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL. I step downstairs and see Nate waiting there. "You look stunning, Luce." He smiles as I put my hand in his. "Thank you, handsome." I grin and together we walk inside. All of our friends are already there and I notice how Lianna looks at Nate for a moment. Oh. "Do you want to dance?" I ask him curiously what makes him chuckle. "With you always," he laughs and together we walk to the dancefloor. He puts his hands on my waist and together we move around. My head lays on his shoulder and I look at the other couples. Noah and Cassius are both dancing with a girl and I know they are trying to recruit another third party for tonight. Charles is moving over the dancefloor with a girl from Slytherin and I can't help but feel the pain. His eyes meet mine and for a moment we just stare at each other. I should forget him and continue with Nate, but somehow I can't. I feel dead inside with Nate. He makes me feel alive again. I didn't notice how I stopped moving till Nate looks at me. "Do you need a break?" He smiles and I immediately nod. "Yea, maybe a drink cuz I need to loosen up." A concerned look appears on his face, but it immediately disappears. Thank you, Lianna. "Sounds good, let's go find something to drink." He says and suddenly he's gone.
About an hour later I am still looking for him. I walk into a different corridor and look around. "At least act like you are having fun." Someone says and I look at him. "I am. I am having fun." "Why does that sound like you have to convince yourself?" I sit down while looking at him. "I- I don't know. Maybe because I am." He sits down as well and turns to me. "Look, I know you are avoiding me, but I feel like this has to be said." I stay silent, not knowing what to. "Don't you fucking dare ever trying to kill yourself again." My eyes close, I knew this was coming. "I wasn't trying to kill myself." I defend me, but I know it won't work. "You two were already tipsy when you tried it and you knew there was a possibility you could die and you still took it!" He says angrily. "How would you even know that it was just Jo and me-" Fuck. He grabs my wrist and you can clearly see the silver bracelet. Something I never took off. "You never took it off, why not?" "Because I can't," I say trying to keep my cool. "Listen to me, Lucy if you ever try to kill yourself again, keep in mind that you will kill me too then...-" "I don't want to kill myself! That experience made me realise how bad I want to live!" I snap at him. Okay, I clearly didn't keep my head cool. "Why don't you look happier then?!" "Because Nate makes me feel dead inside!" I yell at him as I stand again. He doesn't know how fast to get up. "Why are you even still with him?!" "I am trying to forget you!" I push him hard and make my way to the great hall again. "Luce! Don't you fucking dare walking away from me!" He says as he comes after me. "Just leave it, Garfield!"
I stop walking when I arrive in the great hall and my eyes directly go to the dancefloor, where Nate and Lianna are moving around together while laughing and talking to each other. I can't move for a moment and I bite my lip. His eyes meet mine and he immediately lets go of Lianna who shoots him a confused look. Then she follows his gaze and sees me. Guilt spreads over her face and I couldn't care less. Nate glances at someone behind me as he walks to me. "Where were you, Nate?" I whisper knowing he can hear me. "You just left me to get some drinks and disappeared completely! I have been searching for hours only to find you with her!" I say with tears in my eyes. I am close to crying but not because of what I just saw. Because I just talked to him. "Luce, I-" "This dance was supposed to be fun. You know better than anyone that I could use some fun, I mean you don't want me to have another suicide attempt, do you?" The boy behind me gasps just as Lianna who is standing behind Nate. "Lucy, I am so sorry. I thought-" "You thought what, Lianna? That I would just walk around and tell everyone about it! This wasn't your secret to tell and you did it anyway! You just told him like it was nothing." "I am pretty sure he told your friends as well." She defends herself while pointing at Charles. "I didn't, why would I though. She literally told me that she didn't want to die and that it was a mistake, so I thought, it's her secret to tell." Charles says before I can say anything. "I just wanted to look out for you, I was worried," Lianna says upset trying to hold her tears. "I know that and I understand, but telling the boy I am dating that I tried to kill myself is not the way!" She wants to step closer and I let her because I don't know what to do. "I am sorry, Luce." "For what? Telling him? Or going after him?" Silence. "That's what I thought," I whisper before turning around and walking away.
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Josephine Lyla Merriweather
ANOTHER SEVEN WEEKS PASSED, delivering us the time of Spring. The school is all festive, corridors decorated with flowers and leaves. Making everything look more gorgeous than ever. I do enjoy spring. It's the time when everything starts to bloom again. "What are you daydreaming about?" As I open my eyes I look straight in his'. "Spring." "The ball?" I chuckle a bit. "No, silly, spring in general." "Of course you are." He shares a smile with me, giving me butterflies. "I love you." "I love you too." Another smile. I guess spring is not the only thing that started blooming again. Hudson and I are officially together again. We did take it slow after my birthday, talked about a lot of stuff. And I'm glad we did because everything has worked out.
"What do you think our future is going to look like?" I ask. I'm laying on his lap. We're sitting outside, it is still cold but not as much as last month. I'm wearing a sweater and that's enough to give me warmth. "Kids, big house on the land," "With a greenhouse?" I add, "If you want to." "I like the idea of two kids." I then continue. "Or three." I look at him, "Are you sure you can handle that, what if their all girls?" He laughs before giving me an answer. "I wouldn't mind, most of the time." The last part he slowly adds. "I hope we can have a boy and a girl." "And a cat or dog." I chuckle. "Can't forget the owl. I do want to write my kids letters when they are at Hogwarts." "Mhm, Hogwarts, can you imagine for once not being the ones getting on that red train?" I look back at the sky for a moment. "Honestly I can't imagine how hard it is to say goodbye to them for such a long time." "We really are talking about kids, mhm?" I smile at his comment. "We are aren't we." He leans down to kiss me. A future like that, with Hudson, sounds heavenly.
The next day I'm walking through the corridors with my hand in his'. I'm wearing a blue dress and Hudson is wearing a tux, of course. When we arrive at the Great Hall we both stop to look around for a moment. It's lovely decorated and there are loads of people already. My eyes spot my friends from Gryffindor. "Mind if I say hello to a few people first?" I ask while looking back at Hudson. "Of course not, I'll see you later." I give him a kiss and walk over to them. "Good evening." I greet them. "Jo, you look so gorgeous!" Lily smiles bright, making her white teeth appear. "Look who is talking, you look beautiful." She is wearing a purple flowy dress, it has some sort of shining material. "What about me?" Sirius states. "You boys look dashing as always. Very wonderful. Dorcas, you look very impressive as well." I smile at the dark-haired girl standing next to Remus. "Thank you, Jo." I give her a wink. They've been officially dating for a little while now. "So, Sirius, who is your date tonight?" I grin a bit. "Well-" He wants to start but James interrupts him. "Mate here wanted to ask out Mary, but she was already going with his dear little brother, Regulus." He grins. "Can't have everyone now, can you?" "How about Marlene, I thought you two had something going." It's Lily. "That ended a couple of months ago." "Ah, right. I'm sorry." "I came with Lianna, but she went to get something to drink." I smile. "Well, if you all don't mind, I'm heading back to my handsome date." "Boyfriend you mean." James corrects me. "Yes, James, my handsome boyfriend." He grins. "Don't have to much fun tonight." Sirius follows. "We'll see about that."
After sharing multiple dances together, eating appetizers and having a great amount of fun Hudson and I isolated ourselves from the party. My hand lies in his' as we're running through the corridors laughing. Just before the doorway to the Ravenclaw common room I push myself against him putting my lips on his'. His hands move around my waist pulling me closer. "How about we get inside." I nod following him through the door and after to my dormitory. Luckily the door isn't locked for once, giving us the opportunity to do it. Hoping that Lianna will spend the night at the boys' dormitory-like we did all the time, I lock it behind me. "Locking it are we now." He smirks. "You're mine, so yes." I unbutton his shirt like last time. When it falls of his shoulders I let my fingers gently touch his chest. When I look up in his eyes I can see how he want me. It takes him only a few seconds to get me out of the dress I'm wearing. A few moments all our clothes are on the ground.
His familiar fingers move over my body and his lips do too. Making me breathe heavier with the second. "Hudson," I say beneath my breath. He keeps on going what he's doing before coming back up. I put my legs around him as he slowly moves further, forcing me to gasp for air. I grasp my hands unto the covers while biting my lips for a moment, before he puts his lips back on mine.
