Everything You Ever Needed

5.

*Ruby's pov*
I threw away my school bag as soon as I came to my house from school. I hated that hell, I really did.

I sat on my knees, on the floor. Breaking into tears. What did I done to deserve all these??

I was nice to everyone, I always tried to be friendly. I always tried my best, but what the fuck did I got from it? Nothing.

It was so funny how everything can change in a day. I was feeling so happy for the first time yesterday when I was talking to Tris.

But today I was living hell.

Why did I even thought my happiness would last??

"Hey, I am sorry for not being able to text sooner. I had some jobs to do, how are you?" my phone lightened up with a text from Tris.

Oh fuck. How was I supposed to tell a lie now, in middle of a break down.

I decided to tell him the truth, what could he do? Leave me like the rest? At least I could see if he is trustworthy or not.

I didn't really thought anything at that moment and just texted him.

"I am not well tbh but I will be fine I hope, what about you?" I knew I would get over this again, I was strong. At least I hoped.

"Don't ask me about me rn ffs, whats wrong??" He texted me back in a second now. Did he really care-? But why?

"Doesn't matter"

"it does"

"Just drop it"

"No I wont drop it until you tell me what the fuck is going on. You deserve happiness and I am here to give it to you."

I didn't deserve happiness though. I don't think. I wasn't good enough at anything. I hated myself.

"I don't but if you are so worried then fine because I am so fucking tired of getting bullied for being myself. I just want to be good enough" I found myself sending.

Great, you will loose him now. You should've never told him that.

Who cares about you anyway? No one.

"Oh my gosh I am so sorry to hear that wtf. Who the fuck do they think they are?? How could they just bully you??"

"They are right at what they say though and that's what hurts"

"And that is??" He seemed so angry and mad.

"Where to start? I am ugly, I am not like the other people in my class. I don't use make up and I wear black a lot. They bully me for my style, they bully me for my music style. They bully me for literally everything. They judge me every fucking day. They say I don't deserve love only hate and I started to think they are right. Now even my own mind is bullying me. I am so fucking tired of hearing these every fucking day. I hate myself" I wrote back with tears in my eyes, I couldn't stop them from coming they were coming like a sea that had no stop.

"What the fuck" he replied first.

And I couldn't help but think 'its the time that he will say he doesn't wants to be friends with a loser anymore'.