Part 48

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"I'm scared."


The words out of his mouth broke my heart. I could see it in his eyes, but him recognizing it enough to have to say it to me... I pushed away from him and stood up.


"Am I scaring you?"


"Yes."


I took a deep breath and sat down on the floor next to my bed. My heart felt like it was eating itself. I couldn't begin to find the words to say. I felt nauseous.


"I'm sorry."


"Don't be," I choked on the words. The thought of someone hurting Avi, so bad that he was scared even months after it stopped happening, was tearing me apart. I could see the confliction in his eyes. He wanted to help me, but he didn't want to be hurt by me. I'd have to deal with this pain alone while I helped Avi. "It's not your fault."


"It is my fault. If I wasn't so weak..." He started to cry again. I hated seeing him cry. I wanted to hug him, to hold him and rock him and tell him everything would be okay, but I knew I would scare him. What the hell was I supposed to do?


"I hate this."


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