The Breeders

Chapter 28 Rage!

~Hawke~

Daylight crept in brightening the dim tower and dust floated in the stale air. Never had I worked this hard my limbs were shaking and I could barely stand. No matter what I tried the power was still locked within me, yet there was nothing holding me back.

'I don't get it, why am I still unable to unleash it?'

The old one stood before me, her light recoiling in as she tucked her wings back in. 'Something still holds you back, it can be a number of things.'

My limbs finally gave in and I landed in a heap on the stone floor. We were running out of time. I should have unlocked it by now. I should be practicing on how to use it against the humans but instead I was struggling.

'In the meantime rest up we will revisit it.' She turned and took her place along the wall, closing her eyes.

Sleep did not find me no matter how hard I tried. There were too many thoughts running through my head of the what ifs. The blood moon would be here soon and I felt I was wasting my time. Maybe it was time to go back to the Royal and tell him that I could not do it. Normally I was useful and able to do any task given me, but if I could not accomplish this then what use was I?

Putting others in danger and jeopardizing the use of the blood moon could result in continued confinement. Avis and Mimas were already powerful beings, maybe they all stood a chance without me.

My thoughts kept recalling Avis words, if my fear was gone what else was in there?

I began to pace the stone tower trying to figure what I should do. Of all the things I had done of course this would be the one thing that I could not do. The one thing that would fix at least some of the damage that I had done.

Avis let out a puff of air before sitting up. 'Your pacing is doing no good, you should rest.' I knew that she was right but I could not just sit around waiting to see if rest would help me.

'There can be no rest until I have done what he asked of me.' There was too much at stake.

'You feel guilt, but that is not what is blocking you.'

'Then what is? Have we not gone through everything and still it is locked away.'

She stood up her light shining bright. 'We will revisit the memory there must be something there.'

Suddenly the memory replayed before me but what good would it do. The events play on. Over and over I am faced with the same outcome. Until Avis holds the memory in a certain place that I hate seeing. My mother being killed by the headmaster. It replays over again beginning to provoke me. Why was she tormenting me?

Yet it continued on and my anger for Master Hegan was still there knowing he did nothing. He stood by and watched as the man killed my mother. I felt Avis' light get stronger and stronger the memory now vivid as my anger grows.

Something is awakening.

Flashes of the headmaster fighting my mother the look of rage on his face soon becoming my own. It continued on to him beating my mother over and over. The fear of the scene diminishing being replaced with that of anger. My blood boiling to a point I could not take anymore it felt like I would explode. My mother's blood screamed at me, it wanted and begged for justice. That's when I knew that nothing would hold me back anymore.

Pure rage erupted from my body as my own light escaped burning with intensity of revenge. Headmaster would pay until he was nothing more than shreds of carcass under my paws. He would pay with his own blood until I was satisfied. Justice would be served to wolves and creatures everywhere for what he had done.

The more I dwelled the more the brighter the light got until it escaped the tower's walls to the outside world. I took a deep breath drawing in the golden light back within. Now calm and my purpose clear.

Avis stood before me drawing her light in. 'It was your rage that held you back. Have you made peace?'

The anger threatened to erupt again but I held it at bay. 'Hegan was not the one I should be angry with. It was hard to let go.' I admitted which it really was and still I was unsure of.

'You harbored hate for a man that you thought was deserving of death. Will you take revenge for your mother?'

As tempting as that sounds revenge for my mother would be selfish. Spending time planning out the perfect moment of how his death would transpire. Did it all truly belong to me and for one wolf being my mother. This place and the ones who dwelled here held so much more than that. Deserving of more than what they received, they needed a protector. One who would take into consideration every creature.

'No, I will take revenge for all! After all that is what a guardian does.' I held my head high looking out as wolves began to howl.

It was an honor having a Royal lead a howl of recognition. Deep within me a feeling grew to earn the howling of accolade the greatest honor there is.

Although things were starting to look up for us there were things that still lingered behind. My misplaced hatred for a man who had done no harm to my mother. It was like I had run into the icy cold lake and everything was frozen and numb. The thoughts I had of killing him in so many different ways brought on guilt. If events had not happened as they did, I would have killed another innocent man. One that saved my life from a monster.

There was so much turmoil left in my heart of things I had done and I found it hard to forgive. 'It's difficult knowing the truth, it was easier hating him for it.'

'Years of nurturing hate are hard to erase for anyone, knowing the truth doesn't erase it instantly. It takes time.' She heeded.

'Yet he did torture me and turn me into a monster who tortured others. Is my hate still justified even if he was saving my life?' If anyone could call it that.

'That is a question only you can answer but I will say this, do not rush that answer. You may find something new and useful.' She said but I highly doubted that.

Yet the old one was right. I would take my time in sorting everything out. Besides the one I needed to focus on was the Headmaster and tracking him down. Those other feelings would come later when I had the time.

'I'll focus on what's ahead. Teach me more so that I may be a guardian to all.'

'Welcome back Sirius. Now these wolves have a chance at life.'

Golden light surrounded me and it was a struggle to control it. There was much I needed to learn from the old one in order to be helpful to the wolves. Most importantly kill the Headmaster. I would become the beacon of rage for all of those wronged.