LOVING FROM AFAR...

CHAPTER 40 DECISIONS

GABRIELLE POV

I am liar if I will say alam ko ang gagawin dahil sa totoo lang para akong mababaliw sa kakaisip kung anu nga ba..kung paano nga ba. Sasabihin ko ba na nasakatan ako kasi nagsinungaling siya sa akin? Tatanungin ko ba siya kung bakit nakita ko ang babaeng yon sa bahay niya ng ganun kaaga? Would I hate him? Would I search for the answer if he still love Ashley? Tapos ano? Anu na ang mangyayari? Im hurt and  this pain I feel inside wont go away. I'm tired of being stumbled every time I would feel hurt. I hate being so pity like this. I feel vulnerable like I couldn't help myself to think that sooner he will tell me it's over . For sure I maybe die.

Tricia came for a dinner and after we ate we on the DVD again and find something to watch.

I wanted to talk because for this moment this is all I ever need.

"so it's like being serious about it?the dinner?"

Hindi ako sumagot dahil hindi ko rin alam kung ano ang isasagot.

"Gab you need to ask him not just assume.You need to find out what really happened before doing things you will regret."

She's right. I know that of course.

"then what? Even the answer will be negative or positive still it won't change the fact that Ashley is here.."

"Why you would let her come in between? Gab is yours and that the fact.."

I became speechless again. My mind couldn't handle any thoughts anymore.

"Is he really mine? Why I feel so opposite?"

I almost cry again but I stop as she throw me pillow.

"stop being so OA and make up your mind.."

I rolled my eyes to her and pick another pillow to throw back.

"I'm broken here crazy.."

"you just assuming you are.."

"you're not helping.. you know.."

She stood up and get some chips on the table. I lied on the floor and tried to concentrate on the movie. Tricia always have a point but my insecurities bothered me too much. I was thinking a lot and sometimes being like this making me thought about painful possibilities that I'm not even sure were going to happened.

"your heart will always be right because from what I see your mind already exhausted.."

"definitely..!"

I sigh as we lied side by side wasting our tears for the stupid show.

I spent all the day at home doing nothing but thinking what will happened later in the dinner. Still my mind in question. I'm not sure and Im scared. It's already late afternoon when I decided to go out for a run. I never usually doing it but for now this is what I need. I started at the front of our house and roam to the next block to the next passing each tree and ignoring all people who knows me calling my name. I badly needed to feel tired to clear my mind, to think less and made a decision .

I stopped when a black Honda civic  pulled over a meter away from my way. I was stunned seeing a familiar face again. Oh my God..Oh my God! Kaya ko pa ba?

I stoop forward to meet her and genuinely  smiled. She's on her tight jeans and crop top making her look like a fashionista. I smiled back.

"So it's not a wrong door after all?"

She's not angry, actually her voice are low and cool.

"I guess you're right.."

I said. She smirk a little flipping her hair.

"You know me right??I will get straight to the point I want Carlo back and we both know I'm the one who can make him happy. I just wanna ask you this and I want you to be honest with me..."

I've waited for the question keeping my knees not to trembled again.

"Will you let him go right?Without making him feel guilty?.."

Those words is like a strike to my heart that in a moment I will stumbled again. I stop breath and digging some right words to answer. I froze a while and as she smirk at me again I spoke.

"I think you're talking to the wrong person. You should talk Gab instead of me and ask him if he wants me to let him go and that question if I know you..how can I not?actually I heard a lot and it's enough for me to think that going back to you will be so impossible."

I don't know where those words coming from but I saw in her eyes and her reaction she's shocked and pained. I feel at ease knowing I got her with it but it last for a second. She laugh insultingly and looked at me with wide grin in her face .

"Well, Im sorry but that night ,he told me he will. By the way I just came here to warn you to be ready for it.."

and before I could say anything she turn her back away from me. I feel my lips moving and my heart beating abnormally. I sat in a side way rock and feel Ashley gaze as her car pass through me. I feel drained and smaller for myself. He told her he will? He will? I breath and tried to gain all my strength.  If everything she said was all true then maybe I need to decide but is she believable? I don't know.. I don't know and I don't want to know.