𝗔𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗔𝗴𝗮𝗶𝗻 🤍

•𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿'𝘀 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗿𝗻•

•💔•

Nikki's POV, August 1984

This was becoming fucking difficult.

Hiding the truth was becoming so fucking tiring but I still needed time... at this point I am just blatantly putting it off but this is big news, life changing and if I were a woman I would have told Tommy instantly not wait at this point what's going to be well over two months but I'm not so...

I'm probably beginning to sound like a broken record but I just don't want lose him. I've never been in love before Tommy, sure I'd slept with loads of men and women and had relationships but I never fell for them but with Tommy it was pretty much instant and I don't want the happiness of being with him to go away, I wanna be with him for the rest of my life but I don't think that's going to happen anymore.

Not much was particularly happening today, we had nothing to do, Kelly was at work so it was a regular ass day. Tom had insisted we had a movie day at my place, yeah, my place because as much as Tommy and I loved each other we weren't living together in the same house, we technically lived together in two houses, we spent like a week at my place then a week at Tom's, I don't know why we do this but we do.

We're in Mötley Crüe, when do we ever do anything normally?

The movie day had been running from 9am this morning to right now which is 7:30pm we had been binge watching movies, it had been actually a good day, it's been the best day in a while actually because I've only thrown up once which is a significant improvement and I don't feel like a walking zombie today, no doubt this will change tomorrow but for now I feel pretty good.

Tom at the minute was in the kitchen because we were watching movies and needed snacks, so I'd told him to raid the cupboards for Doritos because they're fucking everything.

After 3 minutes, Tommy comes in with the requested bag of Doritos and then two beers were tucked under his arm, I take the Doritos but shake my head when he offers me the alcohol.

"Why not?" He asks sounding a mix between disappointed and concerned.

"Don't feel like it" I said opening the bag of Doritos to try and distract myself from the truth of why I wasn't accepting Tom's offer.

"Come on please! We haven't got pissed together in like well over a month, hell, probably like two, whether that's from booze or drugs... just for tonight, let's have some fun!" The drummer hypes hopefully but no, I wasn't risking the consequences of agreeing.

"I'm really not in the mood, T-Bone... you can if you want but I'm not joining you"

This response causes Tommy to sit down next to me "Babe, what's wrong? You haven't been yourself for weeks.... has something happened? Have I done something?"

"No, god no" I replied immediately feeling rather guilty that Tommy's assuming he's the reason for my behaviour and I guess in a way he is the reason or at least part of it but it's nothing he knew about, he didn't know the consequences of fucking me without protection "I just wanna lay off shit for a while, you ain't done nothing"

"Then what is it? Nik, dude... come on... you're almost constantly sick, you ain't drinking, you ain't doing coke anymore, hell, you're not even smoking anymore... so, tell me, what's up?"