𝗔𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗔𝗴𝗮𝗶𝗻 🤍

•𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗛𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗱•

•💔•

Kelly's POV, Early October 1984

It's been a tough few weeks for Nikki and that's putting it lightly... Tommy walking out had obviously completely thrown him and it has thrown him into a deep pit of negativity and the meeting and studio session- I was worried about him, he wasn't himself at all, he hardly left the house in fact he hadn't left the house in almost two weeks, he's missed 4 recording sessions much to the dismay of Doug and Doc but Vince and Mick kept reminding them of his circumstances.

They weren't best pleased, Doc being the worst, but he's always been kind of a dick.

Nikki didn't care what people thought about him now, after Tommy he doesn't care what anyone else says about his pregnancy because his heart was already in pieces, it couldn't get much worse.

Nikki was 4 1/2 months into this, he was starting to show now, it's one of the reasons he's confined himself to the house and more specifically his bedroom, he doesn't want the press to find out yet but questions are already being raised because of the lack of Nikki with the rest of the guys- he had missed a couple of interviews the last month or so about the new album they were working on, Vince, Mick and Tommy had all been asked where Nikki was and had made excuses every time- Tommy not so much though, he just kinda sat there and stayed silent- make of that what you will.

All I've done for the past couple of weeks is just give Nik enough time alone so he can try and work through his mental despair while also consistently reminding him I'm there for him and that he's not on his own, I go upstairs every few hours and give him a hot chocolate or tea and what not, talk to him- not that I get much in return but I just remind him of some of the good memories we had when we were together as kids and adults, when we first got to L.A- those kinda things, sometimes I'd get a small laugh or a smile and that gave me an overwhelming sense of happiness.

At this moment I was in the kitchen preparing another hot chocolate for Nikki, adding some cream and chocolate sprinkles, I was making one for myself too because I felt like it, do I need a better reason?

My hands carefully picked up the two mugs once I'd made both beverages and climbed up the stairs very slowly being extra careful not to spill anything heading straight into the bedroom, giving a small knock first but I know I won't get a response.

When I walk in I'm greeted by the usual slight of Nikki laying on his side staring out into space, I let out a small sigh and made my way over to him placing the fresh mug of hot chocolate down next to him and removing the old one- before I go to make my way out the room I run a hand through Nikki's hair and kiss his forehead then making my way out the room but I only made it two steps before he caused me to stop walking.

"Is there something wrong with me?" Nikki asks suddenly.

"What?" I turn and say startled by his unexpected comment.

"Is there something wrong with me? Apart from the fucking obvious.... but, am I unlovable or a shitty person cause I know I've done shitty things... I don't know what it is that makes people leave me"

I furrow my eyebrows "Of course you're not, why say that?"

"What other explanation is there as to why I'm always left on my own?" He says still staring intensely at the wall.