Worst Section (High School Series#1)

Chapter 51

[I suggest to play this song while reading this chapter.]

Chapter 51

Ask

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I woke up seeing nothing, but darkness. It was already night and I was alone so I sat up and looked around. I'm still in the hospital. Where's the people?

I sighed and bended my knees before hugging them. I leaned my cheeks on my arm that was hugging my knees before closing my eyes.

I'm alone again. Just like before. Kailan pa ba ako masasanay?

"You're depressed, Miss Santos. It's a normal depression, but you're not helping yourself. You want to be cured? Then, help yourself." Doctor Frossard told me the first time we met.

I know. I know I need to be cured. I did a lot of things to myself just to end the pain and loneliness that I'm feeling right now. I hate being alone. I hate it.

"Don't hurt yourself, Kae. It's bad." Mommy softly told me when she saw me hitting my head.

"Mommy, I hate myself! I always intend to do a lot of works, but I can't even finish one! Kim can almost do everything while I'm struggling here! I'm so useless, Mommy! I'm so useless!" I yelled as I hit my head again.

"Hey!" Mommy pulled my hands away from my head as I started crying. She hugged me tightly before caressing my hair. "You're not useless, Kae. You were born to be loved. You were not born to be useless. You just need to appreciate yourself. Love yourself as you do what you love. That's what can make you useful. Because you, to yourself, is useful."

You, to yourself, is useful. I, to myself, is useful.

Mommy really knows how to calm me down. She's the only one who can calm me and tame me at the same time. Her words are so precious to me that I keep them all to my mine. I am not useless because I'm useful to myself. The only thing that I need is love for myself. That's all and nothing else.

"What do you think you're doing, Francine Kae?! Hurting yourself to end up the pain?! Just kill me instead!" Kim shouted at me when she caught me cutting my wrist for the first time.

I stared at her coldly as my wrist bled badly. I was holding a sharp metallic pen on my right hand where my blood was dripping from my palm because of how tight I was holding the sharp metallic pen. My left wrist had a deep wound which made my blood dripped to the floor.

"Go away!" I shouted as I tried to hide the pen.

"You stupid bitch! You think you will die because of that?! You're not going to die! Stop hurting yourself!" Kim shouted furiously as she walked towards me.

My eyes watered while I was stepping backwards so I could stay away from her. I held the most sharp part of the pen tightly which made my palm bled more.

"I said go away, Kim! Leave me alone! I don't need you here!" I shouted in the middle of the darkness inside my room.

"You need me." She said emphatically which made me stilled. "You need us, Kae. You want us."

"I'm used to be alone." I said as my tears fell on my cheeks. "Leave me alone."

"Kae, please." Kim pleaded as she tried to walked closer to me. "Let me help you. Let us help you."

"No one cares about me." I said while tears didn't stop from falling on my cheeks. "Stop acting like you care! No one cares about me, Kim! No one!"