Chapter 54
Answer
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Napatulala ako nang marinig ang kanilang mg pinagdaanan. Wala ako sa kanilang tabi nang mapagdaanan nila iyon. Actually, wala akong karapatan na samahan sila dahil ako ang dahilan kung bakit nila naranasan ang mga 'yon. Naiintindihan ko na.
It was all on me. It was my fault! If I didn't bother to buy a dress, it won't happen to Mommy. And if it didn't happen to Mommy, they won't experience it all.
It was all my fault! All my fault!
"Francine," Esther called my name as he held my hand. "I know what are you thinking. Don't blame yourself for it. It's not your fault."
"It is my fault!" I said, almost a yell. "It's my fault that my mother died! It's my fault that Khalil almost loses his ability to walk! It's my fault that my sister can't find her happiness! It's my fault why all of you suffered before! It's all on me! It's all my fault!"
"I said no! It's not your fault, Francine! It's not yours!" Esther said furiously.
My tears were falling on my cheeks as I gripped my blanket tightly. Esther held my both shoulders, making me look at him.
When I looked at him, he looked at my eyes directly like he wants me to listen to his eyes.
"It's not your fault that your mother died. She chooses to die to save you. It's not your fault that Kuya almost loses his ability to walk. It's an accident. It's not your fault that Kim couldn't find her happiness. She chooses you because her happiness is to see you finally free. It's not your fault that we suffered. It's the criminals' fault. What's happening right now is not your fault either. There's nothing wrong. So, stop saying that it's your fault because nobody thinks about that. They're just mad because you were not there when we suffered. They're not blaming you. They're just confused." Esther said seriously.
My lips trembled as I stared at his eyes. I can't still accept the fact that they suffered. Daddy should have at least cleared everything in the first place! He chose to be quiet! Damn it!
Esther caressed my cheeks to hushed me before pulling me for a tight hug. I didn't move. I didn't hug him back nor push him away. I just closed my eyes and cried all the pain that I was feeling.
"Cry more. It's better to cry than to hurt yourself." He mumbled which made me pushed him away.
I looked at him in surprise while he just looked at me in sadness. He gave a weak smile as he nodded his head.
"Kim told me earlier when I noticed a wound on your wrist." He said as his eyes went down on my wrists. "You shouldn't cut yourself, Francine. There's a lot of people who want to live, but didn't live long."
My tears fell more because of what he said. He was not mad at me. Instead, he's worried. No one reacted to me like that before when they realized that I'm hurting myself because of depression. He's the only one who didn't get mad.
Napahagulgol ako nang maalala ang lahat nang pinagdaanan ko. Akala ko ako lang 'yung naghirap, sila rin pala. Akala ko ako na ang may malalang pinagdadaanan dahil sa lahat nang nangyari, sila pala.
My mother died to save me. She tried to save which lead her to death. Khalil almost cannot walk to convince me. He tried to convince me to go home which lead to an accident. Kim is waiting for me to be finally healed. She can't find her own freedom because of me. Because her happiness is me being free. They suffered without me. They suffered to clear their names despite all the things that they're taking.
I... I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so tired of this. I'm so tired. I am so tired that I just wanted to rest.
"Stop crying now, Francine," Esther said softly as he wiped my tears. "You said that you will eat if I answer your questions, right? Now, please, stop crying so you could eat."
BINABASA MO ANG
Worst Section (High School Series#1)
عاطفية[High School Series #1] All his life, he's been trying to please her yet it's still not enough because all she wanted was for her father to love her again after her mother died. She was trying to get rid of all the things that can remind her of her...