Nyeisha white, is an 20 year old girl who just got out of college and an abusive relationship. she doesn't drink, smoke, nun of that. but then.. then she met somebody she never knew would change her life.
for better or for worse?
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- Bashar Jackson/Pop Smoke 💫 - - Brooklyn, New York -
"Ny come on, man" i sighed rubbing on her side as she ignored me sniffling into her pillow.
it's been a week since we lost the baby and it's really fucking our relationship up.
even though we didn't plan to have another baby, when you miscarry, it makes you feel like shit.
like it's all your fault.
Ny blames herself because of how badly she was eating and drinking.
i tried to calm her multiple times.. no use.
all we do is fuss or i'm holding her while she cries.
she never wants to talk to me.
even the kids see it.
she doesn't even go out with me anymore.. she hasn't smiled since we left the hospital either.
i just want my Ny back.
"baby" i got in bed laying behind her. "can you at least touch my hand to let me know your listening, Mama?" i rubbed on her stomach lightly as i pulled her back against my front.
feeling her slid her hand under mine, i smiled.
"it wasn't your fault, baby. you know that. you didn't know you were pregnant and that was my fault because i never should've nutted in you. i'm sorry" i sighed. "your a great mother, Ny. and if you want another baby, i can give you one, okay?"
she didn't respond.
it hurts. i wanna help her.
"Ny-"
"just leave me alone!" she snapped as she got out of bed. "damn pop! why can't you just leave me alone!"
is she serious..
"i'm tryna make you feel better! you ain't done shit for me yet or even tried but i'm still here begging you to let me hold you! not YOU just lost a baby. it was half of me too, Nyeisha!" i mugged her and she rolled her eyes shaking her head while going into the bathroom. "your serious? actually?" i leaned against the doorway crossing my arms as she turned the water on in the shower. "you selfish as fuck"
