Nyeisha white, is an 20 year old girl who just got out of college and an abusive relationship. she doesn't drink, smoke, nun of that. but then.. then she met somebody she never knew would change her life.
for better or for worse?
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- Nyeisha White - - Brooklyn, New York -
"I never knew i could be so fucking happy" I chuckled lightly as i looked down at me and pops now 3 week old baby boy.
Kairo Leone Jackson 💙.
"Man you gon' have me carin' way too much now. Kayla already made me nice as fuck" i laughed leaning back on the bed.
"He's perfect" i pouted playing with his curls.
"whole lotta' hair" pop chuckled. "He a good mix of us"
"no he looks like you and it ain't fair"
"when we have a girl she gon' look like you" he nudged me.
"Hopefully" I sighed as Kai began to cry. "aw baby" i picked him up and rocked him slow but he still cried.
"Lemme' try" pop took him doing the same and he stopped crying making me smack my teeth and roll my eyes. "I'm so good at this shit"
"Fuck you" he chuckled as i got off the bed going into my closet and getting out a hoodie. "was kay like that when she was born?" i asked
"mhm" i laughed seeing that he was staring down at Kai and that's why he wasn't really listening to me. "He do look like me"
"Carried him for 9 months just for him to look like his ugly ass daddy" pop smacked his teeth death staring me. "i'm playing, baby"
"better be" he said laying Kai in his crib after he fell back asleep. "you hurtin'?" he asked getting back into bed after sliding his shirt off.
"yea" i sighed getting under the covers and snuggling up to him slowly trying not to hurt too much. "same places"
ever since i gave birth, i've been having really bad mood swings. one second i'm happy and the next, i'm sad and crying my eyes out pushing pop away from me.
and another moment, all i wanna be is under pop. like real clingy shit.
he doesn't get mad at me for it which is a good thing cause i'd probably cry if he did 💀..
i expected that i'd have pain but my cramps are so bad and i also have pain in my boobs. i expected it but i didn't think it would be this bad..
i'm breastfeeding most of the time but not that much.. it feels too weird to me to be doing it 24/7.
"here" he handed me my medicine that they gave me to reduce my cramps a little.
"Thank you" i sat up taking a sip of water before taking the pill.
"You good?" he rubbed my back.
"pop what if i'm not good enough to be his mom" i sighed. "i have no idea what to do" i rubbed my face up and down feeling my eyes tear up.
this is what i mean..
i don't mean to do it.. it just happens.
"Stop allat', baby" he sighed pulled me back so my back laid against his chest. "Ny you can't beat yourself up for this shit. This your first born. i know the ropes and i'll teach you, ight'? i had to be like kayla's mother since she was 3. i know what i'm doing"
"but i needa' know!" i argued turning to him. "Pop i'm his mother"
"yea and i'm his dad. that don't change shit. we both supposed to take care of him" he wiped my tears. "I'm here. don't trip, Mama"
"I just thought it was gonna be so easy and happy.. Kayla's so good! she's the perfect daughter you could ask for" he sighed.
"Kayla's also 5 and almost 6, baby. Kairo's only 3 weeks old and we still got a long way to go"
"i'm sorry" i sighed. "I don't mean to be like th-"
"Ny how many times i told you to stop actin' like this yo' fault" he cut me off. "Your pregnancy did this. not you. if anything, it's my fault for putting him in you"
then Kai started to cry again making me groan and go to get up but pop stopped me.
"i got him. go get in the shower, baby. it'll make you feel better" he leaned over kissing my cheek.
"thank you" he nodded.
this parenting shit gon' be hard as fuck..
——
"Okay but i'm lowkey sexy" i laughed staring at myself in the mirror.
after i got clothes on, i went out the room and into Kai's since pop wasn't in my room and neither was kai.
we haven't moved back in together yet.. some days we're at my house and some days we're at his apartment.
mostly here though cause kai has a room here. pops apartment doesn't really have the room for another room.
"I could've-"
"Naw. i wanted to" pop said turning the burner off on the stove.
"She loves him" i laughed lightly seeing Kayla watching over Kai as cartoons played on the tv.
"she does. she wanted to hold him but i wanna wait until he's a little older" he said grabbing a plate. "i made your favorite but we have fruit in the fridge for you if you want that too" he said handing me the plate. "or you want me to get it for you?"
"i can get my own food. thank you, Baby" i chuckled giving him a kiss before going over to the pot and getting the chicken Alfredo he made out and putting some on my plate.
"you look good in my clothes" he said wrapping his arms around my waist and laying his head in the crook of my neck.
"Sorry. it was the first thing i found"
"you good. ima go get changed into some shorts. i'll be back" i nodded feeling him unwrap his arms and go upstairs.
