𝕄𝕠𝕠𝕟𝕔𝕙𝕚𝕝𝕕 [little!RM/K.NJ] (DISCONTINUED)

5. Unexpected Headspace

The week had been stressing Namjoon out. He'd suddenly been swamped with new song lyrics to write, while helping Yoongi with figuring out the music, and all of the deadlines he'd been assigned in such a small amount of time...

Simply put, he was overwhelmed.

He sat at his desk in his studio at his own house, a huge, empty house that he rarely lived in, and wrote rhyming words and syllables together, before nearly immediately crossing it out and grumbling to himself. These stupid lyrics weren't fitting together, not in English or Korean. It was pretty infuriating, if he was being honest.

There were times he'd refuse to himself to get up and eat, refuse to put his pencil down, refuse to sleep (fortunately, his body betrayed him and made him pass out twice already). He'd been here for 56 hours, going on 57, and wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon. He had too much work to do.

He felt himself fall from conciousness, but instead of his body passing out and shutting down, this felt different. Like he was entering a dream instead of biding the time away while his body repaired itself. It felt strange and yet, all too familiar. Namjoon couldn't hold himself back...

——— 🖤 ———

The group hadn't seen or heard from Namjoon in days and were growing concerned. He wasn't in his home, in his studio there. One of the members had decided to check up on him and make sure he was okay, or that some sasaeng didn't get to him first.

"Namjoon-ah?" Seokjin opened the door to the studio tenderly and gently, peeking in to see Namjoon on the floor with his thumb in his mouth and his black hoodie over his head, holding onto a Ryan plushie. His eyes seemed bigger, despite them being tired. He sat in his socks, mumbling something to the Ryan plush and sleepily giggling to himself. Upon seeing Seokjin, Namjoon's eyes shot open and he leaned back, afraid.

"No! Jinnie no wike! No!" He babbled, his pupils dialated in shock. Nobody was supposed to see him in littlespace, but something nagged at the little that it was okay. "Jinnie no wike widdle Joonie!"

"Namjoon-ah? What's going on?" Seokjin tried again. Namjoon became less tense and shook his head. 

"No. No ah. Jus Joonie." Namjoon babbled, wiping his sleepy little eyes and removing the thumb from his mouth. His voice was higher pitched and slightly whiny. "Joonie tiwed."

"Are you... doing it again?" Seokjin asked awkwardly. The little only stared at him in confusion and heavy eyelids, which fought of sleep.

"Do... wat?" Namjoon asked, crawling and shifting on the floor. He sat up and held his Ryan plushie to his chest and looked innocently at Seokjin. He didn't understand what 'doing it again' meant. He couldn't remember when he got caught. "Wat I dos? Is Joonie do bad?"

Seokjin hesitated and froze, not knowing what to do. He hesitated before asking Namjoon how old he was. The little held up two fingers and yawned as Seokjin's heart dropped.

"So.. this isn't an act or anything..." Seokjin murmured to himself, as Namjoon spoke up, still tiredly.

"Eomma..." Namjoon cooed, doing little grabby hands and gesturing to be picked up. Seokjin froze, confused about what the little had just said. He hated being called that, but what was he supposed to say to that?

"Not eomma, Namjo-" Seokjin began, before softening his voice. "I'm not your mom, Joonie." His tone was sweet and kind, but his face looked strained and uncomfortable. Namjoon nodded and crawled to Seokjin and clapped his hands.

"Otay, baba!!" Namjoon's eyes scrunched up as he smiled. His sleepy demeanor seemed to wash away for a moment when he called Seokjin his baba. Seokjin looked down at the smaller boy, about to protest, but nearly immediately giving up. There was no use in correcting the baby.

Namjoon's hand drifted to his mouth and his thumb was placed there, before being smacked and swatted down by Seokjin. "Yah! Namjoon-ah! You can't just put your dirty hand in your mouth! That's gross!"

The little's eyes began to tear up and his lip quivered upon being smacked. Seokjin could tell that Namjoon was about too cry and froze up, not knowing what to do. His eyes darted around the studio until falling on a small object in the corner of the room. It was pale yellow and Seokjin recognized it immediately.

As fast as his legs could carry him, he sprung up and grabbed it, holding it in front of Namjoons face. He calmed down a little bit more when his eyes landed on the pacifier, not even realizing how broken it was. The plastic was broken thanks to himself, and the nipple was scuffed. Seokjin knew that this was quite possibly his only resort at this point.

"Hey! Nam- uh, Joonie! Don't cry!" Seokjin pleaded, as Namjoon's eyes followed the pacifier. The elder got up to clean it off in a nearby bathroom sink, and when he left the studio, once again, Namjoon was on the verge of tears until he saw Seokjin reenter the room with a slightly wet pacifier in his hands.

"Paci! Baba gib!" Namjoon did the grabbing hands again and Seokjin obliged, leaning down to Namjoon's level. Namjoon opened his mouth up and cooed.

"See? It's much cleaner!" Seokjin encouraged, placing the little pacifier between Namjoon's lips. This felt weird to Seokjin, but at least Namjoon hadn't seemed to be bothered by the state of the pacifier.

"Mhm!..." Namjoon yawned. "Joonie ish sweepy..."

Thoughts swarmed Seokjin's mind chaotically as Namjoon laid down at his feet. He had no earthly clue what this was. Why was Namjoon acting this way? His dongsaeng acted as if he genuinely wasn't twenty six. As if he genuinely was a two year old, babbling and speaking with a lisp. He'd never heard of such a thing before, but as strange as it was, he had to admit that it was kind of adorable.

He sat beside Namjoon, who had fallen asleep on the floor, and pulled him into his lap. He reluctantly brushed Namjoon's hair soothingly with one hand. With the other, he whipped out his phone and tapped until he reached the search engine. He typed in 'adults who act like babies' and pressed search.

The first results were of people talking about some kind of kink, to which he scowled and scrolled past.

Gross. Who does that?

But then he stumbled upon something else. Some forum for anxiety or trauma where people were talking about a thing called "littlespace", which seemed much more wholesome than what he'd previously found.

The more he scrolled, the more he learned. Apparently, adults can regress into childlike states of mind to escape reality. This can be an involuntary action, usually triggered by trauma, anxiety, depression, or panic attacks. Some people spoke about their headspaces being somewhere between the ages of 1 year old and others were older, somewhere around 8 or 9 years old.

He read up on it for the next hour, honestly intrigued by it. The whole works and dynamic of it, the psychology behind it, everything. It interested Seokjin.

He looked down at the little, who nuzzled into Seokjin's lap and make small noises as he slept. His pacifier, albeit broken, laid in his mouth. When he breathed in, Seokjin saw it move, which he found cute.

"He's a... little?" Seokjin whispered to himself. He couldn't believe it. The same man who's led BTS for years, who spoke to the United Nations, who rapped about life and meaning, debunking social constructs. A man who achived all that...

... is the same little creature who napped peacefully, his head perched on Seokjin's thigh?

A/N: Awww! Cute lil' Joon! And Seokjin (although a little confused) looking out for him! <3 This chapter made me soft to write, not gonna lie. -Max