His Gold ✓

45| Deserve better

"If you say yes to being my girlfriend."

Seth's words linger in the air of the bookstore storage room. His blue eyes are persistent. I'm totally numb.

How do I tell him how I really feel?

It feels evil. Evil to crush him. Evil to attempt it. Evil to succeed in it.

"Seth," I sigh. My voice is fighting me. "I wish I could answer you."

"What?" His brows furrow, "it's easy!"

No, it isn't.

I get off my shift any minute. Bryce is already on his way here. And Seth expects me to like him back?

"No, it's not." I step back. "I cannot give you an answer to that question."

"Oh- do you need time?" He calls as I walk out of the storage room. My head is full of the dizzying truth that Seth has liked me all along.

I chose to ignore his infatuation because I was so determined to have another friend.

I weave through the shelves of books in a hurry. I make my way to the counter, to Indie. I expect to find her working, but instead she has a pale flush over her face.

She opens her mouth, but I see it before she has to tell me.

Bryce's car is speeding away from the bookstore.

I get the sinking feeling that he knows what Seth just asked.

"Is he upset? What did he say?"

Indie bites her lip unhappily as I question her. The image of Bryce speeding away is still fresh in my head. She shakes her head.

"He came in looking for you. I couldn't lie, so I said you were in the back with a... friend."

"I didn't lie!" She adds. I shake my head in disbelief.

"I made sure Seth didn't close the door. I'm sure Bryce overheard it all."

While I'm panicking, I hear Seth clear his throat behind me.

"Is everything okay?"

I don't turn around to look at him. Instead, I whisper to indie. "What's Bryce's address?"

"You don't know?"

"I've never been." I mumble.

She scribbles it down on a piece of paper and slides it across the counter.

"Thanks." I whisper, pressing the paper between my fingertips and turning to Seth.

"Can you give me a ride somewhere?"

He raises a brow. "Uh- sure. Yeah, come on. Where's the place?"

I recite Bryce's address from the piece of paper. Seth nods and unknowingly agrees to drive me over. I don't look at indie before I leave work. I feel that her face will make me feel worse about this whole situation.

*****

The ride with Seth is numbingly quiet. I hate that things are so awkward. I hate that I'm kind-of, maybe using him.

If he knew my answer is no, would he still give me this ride? Or if he knew it was to Bryce's we're headed?

I shudder while Seth clears his throat.

"Look— Caroline, I wish you could just put whatever it is that you feel out there in the air."

I ignore him. He frowns.