You're Not Alone

•10•

*Flashback To Boot Camp*

We've been here for two years now. Im starting to come out of my shell more, I've made friends and I'm happy about it.

Growing up, I only ever hung out with Armin, Mikasa, and Eren. They were the only ones I would talk to. The other kids around our neighborhood were annoying little brats.

Granted, I didn't talk much at all. I'm the girl who watches everyone. Mikasa seems to talk more than I do, which is crazy to think.

Then there is Eren. The boy who can't seem to shut up. All he does is run his mouth. I love him, don't get me wrong, but gosh he is annoying.

I sit under a tree near the dining hall, I didn't feel like eating. My stomach has been upset for some reason, so my appetite is gone.

There's a journal sitting in my lap that I've been writing in ever since we got here. I want to have these memories to look back on. Maybe even read these to my kids.

I open the journal and flip to a random page. It was from our first month here;

I don't know why, but I seem to avoid Eren, Mikasa, and Armin. They are all so close and I feel like an outcast. I know Eren is my brother and I care for all of them, but I feel like I need to branch out. There's no one here that I want to be close to though. I've talked to a few people like Marco, Connie, and Sasha, but that's it. It's not like we talk a lot or anything. Maybe if we see each other during training. I've also been eating by myself. It seems like Eren will start something at every meal and I'm sick of being right in the middle of it.

I hear a twig snap from beside me and I look over, closing my journal. There's no one there, but I definitely heard something.

"Come out," I order.

Jean peaks out from behind a tree with a sheepish smile and his hands in his pockets. Why does he look so suspicious.

"Sorry," he mutters. "I saw you over here and thought you could use the company."

"If you're coming over here to get information about Mikasa, you're wasting your time," I roll my eyes. "I have better things to do."

"That's not- What better things could you be doing?"

I look down at my journal, frowning. He's right, I don't have anything special to do. He walks towards me and I tuck the journal under my legs.

Jean sits next to me, leaning against the tree on my right. He looks up at the sky and smiles to himself. His eyes reflect the stars.

"Are you really just following your brother. Is that why you're here?"

I frown, he really knows how to start a conversation...

"Yeah, what of it?"

"Don't you have your own dreams?"

"Yes I do," I trace circles in the dirt beside me. "But I made a promise to my mom and to myself, that I would look after Eren."

"Isn't he older than you though? Shouldn't he be taking care of you?" Jean states matter-of-factly.

"He's like a minute or two older than me, we're twins," I look over at him. "And no, he shouldn't have to take care of me. I'm way more capable than he is."

"Oh I didn't realize. Well it seems like your head is on straighter than his. Eren has a loud mouth and crazy thoughts," he scoffs.

"Yeah, but he's serious about them. He's not just saying crap for the fun of it. He really does want to protect people and fight no matter what," I frown. "Our mom was so against this, but I'm sure she's looking over us and is proud."

"What... uh- if you don't mind me asking...," he stutters awkwardly. "What happened to your mom?"

"The whole reason I'm here with Eren and the others, is because I watched my mom get eaten by a Titan the day wall Maria fell. She told me to look after Eren, that's why I'm here. But I also vowed to find the Titan that ripped her apart and kill it with my own hands," I feel my heart quicken and my muscles Titan with anger.

"I'm sorry," he says softly. "I hadn't realized what you guys went through. No one should have to see that."

"No they shouldn't," I look up at the night sky and sigh.

"Well good luck to you," he smiles. "I hope you're able to find peace."

"I won't find peace, not ever again. This world is full of darkness. You can't run from it. There will always be another thing that tears you down. I want to be able to overcome it, but I know it'll always be there. The pain... the lost hope...."

"You're starting to sound like Eren," he laughs.

"Hmm, I guess so. He has made some good points, ya know. Maybe if you actually listened to what he was saying, you'd agree. All you do his hear his voice and automatically get into a defensive mode. You two just don't mix well I guess. That's okay though, not everyone has to get along."

"Do we get along?" He asks me.

I glance over at him, caught off guard by his question.

"I guess so," I shrug. "I mean, you're big headed and your ego takes up a lot of your personality, but I see potential. I feel like there's more to you than what even you see."

"Okay no need to get deep about it. I know who I am. This is what there is, if you don't like it then that's on you."

"Woah there, I didn't say it was a bad thing. I'm just saying, there's always more than meets the eye Jean."

I stand up and dust off my pants, bend down and pick up my journal. Jean eyes me, watching me move.

"What's that?" He points at my journal.

"Nothing special," I mumble.

"Hmm, is that your diary?" He laughs and stands as well. "Let me see."

"Not happening," I put it behind my back.

"What are you hiding Sophie?"

"None of your business Jean," I spit back.

He walks closer to me, his tall body towering over me. I take a step back and place my weight forward, ready to defend myself if he tries to take it.

"One day I'm going to read that," he stops approaching me. "Just you wait. I'm going to find out all the juicy stuff you write about."

"Not happening," I turn on my heel and raise my arm up, waving. "See you Jean."

"Yeah, bye Sophie."

I go back to my bed and shove the journal under my pillow. That boy is something else. He's so egotistical and boorish. How could I ever see anything more than an idiot.

Just because I said there was more to him than he knows, doesn't mean it's good. He could just be hiding an even more rude and annoying person underneath all his idiocy.