NO GAMES X DABABY

|47|

I bite my lip and consider just turning around and going back inside cuz was I really about to be the dumb bitch running back to him after he left me?

Nah.

I turn around and reach for the door handle when I hear him honk his horn.

"I see yo ass, come here, let me holla at ya pooh."

Dammit.

I turn around and face jonathan, see him sticking his head out the window.

I walk up to him. "What you doin in my driveway?" I cross my arms, making a face at him.

"Smokin my blunt fore I got out cuz imma have to be high if I gotta deal wit yo yellin ass again. Like a lil chihuahua, damn."

I look at him in shock.

"I'm messin wit you pooh, I came to talk to you."

"Well I was on my way to talk to you."

He looks down at me from his car, "well let's talk."

I consider my options and end up walking to the other side of his car, opening to door and getting into the passenger seat.

I look at the dashboard avoiding eye contact. I can feel his eyes on me. Shit Ion know what to say.

Jon takes a pull from is blunt and hands it to me, I drag and he starts to talk.

"Ion want this to go how its been going, you been yellin and I been yellin and neither of us is really listening to the other, we been playin games tati, we grown, ain't no reason we can't sit down and talk this out if we really want to get it back right."

"So listen to how I'm feelin."

"You got my full attention."

I pass him the blunt and sigh, "I'm feelin hurt, you walked out on me. I loved you as hard as I could, gave you all I had to give and then you walked out on me, and I don't know what's worse, the fact that the bitch you left me for couldn't even compare or that I was about to come to you tryna work shit out when I should be letting you go. I feel stupid jon."

He nods, "I feel stupid too. you the best I ever had, I'm my best whenever I'm wit you but I made a punk move leavin you. I ain't never been in love. You the first person I felt that with and it's scary as shit."

"...you're in love with me so you left me?"

"Yeah."

"Make that shit make sense, cuz you didn't even talk to me, you lied to me, over and over when all you had to do was tell me how you was feelin." I cross my arms and watch him, trying not to get mad because I know this is supposed to be a composed conversation but every time I think about it I feel like I'm getting stabbed in the back and that shit hurts.

"Why you yellin."

"Because jon we had a good thing ad you fucked it up! You keep havin me look stupid how Imma trust you to treat me right. What did she have on me?"

"Nothing. She ain't have nothin on you pooh, you don't need me to tell you that, you know you the shit. I only chose that shit over you because she was predictable, I ain't love her. I love you." I look out the front window, feeling tears in my eyes and feeling stupid for having tears in my eyes.

"Love isn't predictable." I feel my voice rising again.

"I know." Jon matches my tone.

"It's not easy, it's not a cakewalk Jon" I turn to him, frustration radiating from me.

"I know pooh."

"How am I gonna trust you to treat me right if you want predictable?"

"I don't want predictable I want you Tati." His voice breaks like he's begging me. "You can trust me to treat you right because I love the fuck outta you, pooh. Trust me to treat you right because all I've wanted to do since the night I left is make sure you never cry again, make you happy, make you laugh make you smile. You my whole world and then some and I know, I know this shit ain't gone be easy but we workin it out, I'm learning from my mistakes all I need you to do is come back to me tati."

I bite my lip and stare out the window, arms still crossed.

He gently grabs my hands and holds them in his, kissing on them till my eyes are on him again.

"I gotta know you want this too."

"I want it."

I want it so fucking bad I need it, my nights have been cold, my nights have been lonely, I want his body back under mine, I miss the way we joked, the way we teased each other, I miss my person, the person I connect with beyond words. I miss jonathan, my better half.

Jonathan gives me a look."Then let's get back to us."

I smile.

My brain gives me a look. You dumb bitch the fuck is you doin hoe.

Fuck my mental, I been missing my baby, "let's get back to us."

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