Fractured [SHAWN MENDES]

~5~

He had the dream again. It was always the same, though the small details changed each time he had it. For example, this time, her dress was green instead of the robin's egg blue it had been the last few dreams.

It started with him standing by the car just like he had on that day, except a song other than theirs began playing on the radio. This prompted him to drive down to the parking bay to the right of the modern house. He got out of the car and walked up the driveway to meet the Uber he arranged for. Then he heard her call his name. He spun around and she was standing in the front door beckoning him back to the house. As he got closer, he saw that she was wearing the large diamond ring he'd given her. That's when he started to run to her, his heart pounding from the happy realization that she wanted to work things out and marry him. She jumped into his arms and he carried her inside where he pinned her against the wall in the foyer. They kissed and then he took her right there, happy tears streaming down his cheeks as he rocked his hips between her thighs as she clung to his long hair. Right as he was about to reach his peak, she vanished. She literally evaporated so that he was fucking air.

It was the worst sex dream ever, mainly because he always woke up painfully excited while crying hysterically. After getting out of prison, he'd tried finishing so that he could have some relief once the tears subsided, but he couldn't. He was convinced he was broken both mentally and sexually, which was why he'd been celibate since everything in his life had gone to shit.

Shawn spent the day doing what he usually did. He watched TV, ate when he was hungry, played guitar, replied to the texts his mom sent him. All the while, he tried to shake the shadow of the recurring dream, which wasn't easy. It tended to linger for at least twenty-four hours, and during that time, the wound of losing her was reopened.

Late in the afternoon, he decided that getting out of his condo might help. He hadn't been to the bar in over a week and he missed the place. After putting on his heaviest coat, he set out for Adelaide Street, only to find the Good Luck Lounge closed. He pulled out his phone and saw that it was Monday, so that made sense. The days of the week were pretty meaningless to him, but he usually knew better than not to check. He trudged home in disappointment.

The next evening, he went back. When he opened the door, the warmth of the bar hit him, as did the smell of fried food. The only patrons were two older men who were often there when he was. They sat at one of the high tables with a pitcher of beer next to their chess board. Neither looked up when the bell on the door sounded in the otherwise quiet room. Oddly, no one was behind the bar, so he took a seat and waited.

"Sorry!" a voice said from behind him. "I had to put on order in with Zack and we started talking."

"No problem. It's really dead here tonight, eh?"

"Yes, unfortunately. My mom makes me give her the numbers each day and I hate having to tell her that the bar was essentially deserted. I'm pretty sure it's the cold weather that's keeping people away. What can I get you?"

"I'll have a bourbon, straight no ice," he replied. "Have you thought about turning the music on? The vibe is a little off without it."

Taryn rolled her eyes. "Of course I have. The sound system died last week. I don't know anything about electronics and I can't afford to hire a professional."

Money was really tight right now. Her mom's healthcare was covered, of course, but the bar wasn't turning a profit. Every dollar it earned went towards Zack's salary and the rent, which had increased at the start of the new year. As she poured Shawn's drink, she tried to push her troubles out of her head since there was not much she could do about them. Besides, her focus needed to be on getting her mom well. She set the glass down and was about to go back in the kitchen to see if the wings the regulars had ordered were ready when Shawn spoke. "Want me to look at it?"

"Are you good at that kind of thing?"

He shrugged. "I know a little about sound equipment, though I'm certainly no expert."

"Well then have at it," she told him before hurrying off to the kitchen. When she returned a couple minutes later, she saw he was behind the bar fiddling with the stereo that sat on a shelf near the register. "Here you go, gentlemen," she said to the chess players. "I brought you some extra blue cheese."

"Thanks, doll," one of them said as he gave her a warm smile.

She joined Shawn and couldn't help but smile at the intense look of concentration on his face as he tried to get the system to work. "Ready to give up?"

He shook his head. "Nope. It has power and it seems to be playing, but there's no sound. I'm going to take a look at the back."

She washed some glasses while he continued to work. As she put the last one away, Sweet Emotion by Aerosmith started playing. "You did it!" Taryn exclaimed.

"The speaker wires were pulled out. Have you moved it recently?"

She slapped her palm to her forehead. "Yes! I was dusting that shelf and pulled the system out as far as I could. I guess it was too far."

"I secured them so it should work fine. It's a really old system, though. It doesn't even have Bluetooth," he said.

"Ugh...I know. I'm stuck with my mom's CD collection. I'm tempted to buy some music that I like so that I'm not in classic rock hell until she comes back."

"How's Tricia doing?" Shawn asked after he went back to his seat.

"Better. She finishes chemo next week and then she's going to spend a few weeks recovering from that. She's hoping to be back here by March. Oh! She loved your flowers, by the way! I can't believe it slipped my mind to thank you. My brain isn't functioning very well these days."

"You've got a lot on your plate, it seems."

"That's an understatement. I'm in college, though thankfully I was able to switch to online when I found out I needed to move home for awhile to help my mom. I get up at dawn to do my schoolwork, and then I'm here for thirteen hours. I can get some reading done when it's slow, at least."

Shawn was surprised to hear she was a student, because he'd assumed she was closer to his age. "Where do you go to school?"

"Niagara College. I'm studying brewery operations management, which is a two year program. I'm hoping to get a job at one of the hip brewpubs here in Toronto when I graduate next year."

"That's really cool! You're sticking with the family business."

"I was raised in bars so that's all I know," she stated before checking on the two older men.

Shawn finished his drink and took a couple large bills from his wallet which he put under the empty glass so that it wouldn't be discovered until after he left. It was enough to cover a dozen of his drinks, and he was pretty sure she'd object to his generosity.

On the way out, the pretty redhead stopped him. "Thanks for fixing the music."

"It was my pleasure, um...?"

"Taryn. Taryn McAllister," she said as she extended her hand.

"Nice to meet you, Taryn. Please give tell you're mom I'm thinking of her."

"Will do. Have a nice night."

As he walked home, he decided that he'd be back at the bar sooner than usual and that he wouldn't return empty-handed.