Fractured [SHAWN MENDES]

~9~

Shawn closed his computer with such force that he had to reopen it to make sure it wasn't broken. He sat on his sofa and practiced focused breathing with hopes that it would calm him down.

"Why did she have to drag it all up again? What was the fucking point?" he asked himself.

He'd been having a pretty good day. He had Sunday dinner with his parents and then they watched a movie. An hour after he returned home, his mom texted him that the woman he once planned on marrying had given an interview to a British magazine. It was supposed to be released the following day, but someone had leaked it early, probably to generate more buzz. She'd remained fairly quiet, outside of some statements during the trial, so for her to do this now made no sense.

"I never suspected that he had violent tendencies, but after years of therapy I've learned that the signs were all there. I was blinded by love, of course. He was always so...intense. I think that's the best word for it. It's like his love for me was consuming, which I've learned isn't healthy for either partner. I can't be blamed for seeking out a more peaceful love with someone else. I was a victim!"

A victim. She'd been cheating on him with one of his best friends while they were planning their wedding yet she was the victim? The fact that she felt her infidelity was justified made him even more frustrated. She was rewriting history, and unfortunately for him, what he did that night made her work of fiction very plausible.

He looked at his phone. It was late but the bar would be open for another hour. It wasn't that he wanted a drink, but he wanted to go somewhere that made him feel normal. Before leaving his condo, he grabbed a baseball cap and a pair of glasses that had no prescription. He rarely drew attention at The Good Luck Lounge but with the interview coming out, he knew people might stare if they recognized him.

"Do you usually wear contacts?" Taryn asked once he took his seat.

"No. This is a disguise."

She laughed. "It's not a bad one, actually. I think, however, that the bald head works better than that cap. If I passed you on the street I don't think it would register that you're you because my brain associates Shawn Mendes with long hair."

"Shhhh!" He looked around the almost empty bar. "Don't say my name so loudly!"

Taryn cocked her head. "Is there a reason you're being so weird tonight? Also, you rarely come in this late. What's up?"

"I don't want to talk about it when there are people around."

"But you want to talk?"

Shawn contemplated her question. Was that why he'd come here tonight? "Yeah, I would like to talk."

She gave him a warm smile. "Well you're in luck. I'm locking up in forty-five minutes and then I'm all ears."

"But you have class tomorrow."

"I just have to watch a recorded video and submit a response, so it's a pretty easy day. My only other commitment is taking my mom to the oncology center for some follow-up imaging."

"She was telling me about that the other day. This is where they'll determine if the tumor is gone, right?"

She nodded. "We know it shrank, but there could still be a tiny remnant. If that's the case, she'll have surgery and possibly radiation. She's lucky that it was caught early."

While Taryn took care of her other customers, Shawn sipped his drink and contemplated what he wanted to tell her. He was deep in his thoughts when the overhead lights went off, leaving the room illuminated by the green glow of the neon shamrock.

"Do you want to stay here or go someplace else?" she asked as she took his empty glass.

"I don't want to go anywhere public, but if you're tired of being in the bar, we could always go to my place. It's only a couple blocks away."

Taryn raised an eyebrow.

Shawn held his hands up. "Just to talk! I didn't mean for it to sound like I wanted to-"

"Relax. I knew what you meant. That sounds nice, actually. Let me throw this last tray of glasses in the dishwasher and then we can go."

A few minutes later, she flipped the switch to turn off the neon light before they stepped out onto the vacant sidewalk. Once the door was secured, they walked companionably down Adelaide until they turned onto Shawn's street.

"Good evening," the security guard said as they passed his station in the foyer.

Shawn smiled and nodded at the older man before he led Taryn to the elevator which they took to the penthouse floor. "So I should probably warn you that my place is a little messy."

"I promise not to judge."

He opened the door and held it for her so that she could enter first. They walked down a short hall the kitchen and dining area.

"It's not that bad," she told him as she looked around. "When you said messy, I envisioned something much worse. I'd almost say this would be considered neat by your typical bachelor pad standards."

He glanced at the dirty dishes stacked in the sink, the bottles on the counter that needed recycling, and the clutter that covered both the dining and coffee tables and suspected she was saying that to be nice. "Do you spend a lot of time at these so-called bachelor pads?"

"Not these days. I'm so tired after work that hooking up is the last thing on my mind. Not that I'm big on that. I prefer seeing one person to going out with randos."

"Did you leave a boyfriend behind at college?"

Taryn took off her jacket and hung it over the back of one of the stools at the kitchen island. "No. I'd recently gone through a break-up when my mom got her diagnosis. In some ways I was relieved to get out of Welland for awhile." She then narrowed her blue eyes at him. "Didn't we come here to talk about you?"

"Sorry. I shouldn't be asking you prying questions. Can I get you anything? I don't have any alcohol but I can make us some coffee or tea."

"I'd love some herbal tea. Caffeine isn't a good idea this late at night."

He prepared a mug of chamomile tea for each of them and then brought it to the living area where they took seats on opposite wings of the sectional sofa.

"You can take your glasses off now," Taryn said after taking a sip of her hot drink.

After removing them, he felt his cheeks heat up as he set them on top of his laptop. "Did you see the interview?"

"What interview?"

"My ex...she did one in London where she's making a movie. She talks a lot about me and what happened."

"Mmmm," Taryn hummed thoughtfully. "I imagine that kind of thing is hard for you. Maybe you shouldn't read stuff like that."

It had never crossed his mind to not read the article. Once he knew it existed, he had to know what she'd said. "I think it's better for me to know what kind of bullshit is being spread about me."

"She lied in the interview?"

"Yes! That's why I'm so upset. She painted this picture that I was fucked up before everything went down."

Taryn leaned forward so that her elbows rested on her knees. "I've got to be honest with you. I followed your story pretty closely as it unfolded. I think most of Toronto was obsessed with it, because it was so surprising and out of character for you. When my mom told me you were frequenting the bar, I was a little unnerved at first, but then she said that you'd served your sentence and didn't deserve to be condemned by the public for the rest of your life. She also said that we don't know the whole story. Obviously a lot came out during the trial, but no one knows what was going on in your head. That's why I decided to give you a chance."

"I really appreciate that." He took a deep breath. "If you want to hear my side of things, I'm willing to tell you. If it makes you feel differently about me, then so be it. I can find another bar."

"Maybe I need some caffeine after all," she said.