Fractured [SHAWN MENDES]

~39~

It was a rainy Tuesday, and Shawn shook the droplets off his head before he stepped inside the bar to pick up Taryn. His cotton shirt was drenched and he'd cursed mightily over forgetting his umbrella when the storm hit halfway through his walk.

"Hi, babe," his girlfriend called out to him from behind the counter. "You look like you could use a hot drink and maybe a towel."

He walked over to her, his feet sloshing in his shoes. It was unseasonably cold and he was chilled to the bone. Toronto weather could be so crazy. "I'm gonna take a very hot shower when we get home."

Home meant his place. Taryn had stayed over every night for the last three weeks, so it was kind of her home, too, but they definitely weren't anywhere near discussing official cohabitation.

She leaned in conspiratorially, "I'll join you."

As wet and uncomfortable as he was, her words had him instantly aroused. He tried to think of things to distract his mind (and dick) from sexual thoughts, but even picturing puppies playing in a park didn't help.

"You okay?" Taryn asked.

"Um, yeah. I'm good. How was your shift?"

"It was fine. As you can see, it's a pretty slow night. We had some people come to watch the game, but they left when it was over. Oh! I do have some news, though! For the third straight day this week, there was a nice looking gentleman at the bar when I got here. He and my mom were very chatty. Each day he leaves right before she does and gives her a huge tip. When I asked her about him today, she got all flustered."

Shawn smiled. "Sounds like someone has a crush on your mom."

"That's what I said to her, but she just waved her hand and said I was being ridiculous. I did learn that his name is Earl and he owns a construction firm. If she knows more than that, she's not telling."

After closing up the bar, they shared Taryn's umbrella on the walk to the parking garage and then took her car to his building. She'd eaten at work, so they entered his condo and went straight to the bedroom, immediately taking off their outer layers of clothing and climbing under the soft duvet. Shawn gave her several tender kisses, and before long, he was on top of her, swiveling his hips in a way that made her moan, though both of them still had on their underwear.

"Baby?" he whispered, his hot breath tickling her neck.

"Hmmm?"

"Maybe we should take that shower we talked about earlier."

She had her period, so this was definitely a smart idea if they were going to go any further. Nodding, she got out of bed and followed him to the bathroom. While he started the water, she took some ibuprofen for her cramps.

"Still in pain?" he poked his head around the glass barrier to ask.

"Day two is always the worst. I'll feel fine by tomorrow." She stripped off her clothes and joined him under the soothing hot water, leaning back against his chest and closing her eyes.

"You know what's good for cramps?"

"Yes, and I was hoping you'd help ease my pain with the shower head."

Pulling her hair aside, he kissed her neck. "I'd love to watch you do it."

"What?!"

He was so into the idea that he missed the alarmed tone of her voice. "It's so sexy to watch a woman get herself off. I've wanted to do this for awhile, if I'm being honest. I'll do it, too, since I probably won't be able to stop myself."

Taryn grew stiff in his arms. "No. You are not watching me!"

Shit. He didn't think she'd be repulsed by his suggestion since she was usually so open sexually. "We can do something else if that's not your thing."

Prying his hands off her shoulders, she quickly exited the shower and wrapped herself tightly in one of the oversized towels.

"Taryn?"

"I just want to go to sleep," she told him without making eye contact.

A few minutes later they were both in bed, though there was an uncomfortable gap between them. Shawn's mind raced as he tried to figure out what he'd said that upset her so much. Masturbation was a healthy thing, though maybe she felt weird about doing it in front of him. "I'm sorry," he said softly.

"It's not your fault. It's me." Her voice caught on the last two words.

Shawn rolled so he was on his side facing her and stroked her cheek. Just as he'd suspected, it was wet with tears. "What's going on, honey?"

She started choking on sobs. "It-it's a long story."

His heart started to race. He knew she had secrets about her past, and he assumed she'd tell him when she was ready. "I've got all night if you want to talk."

She sat up and nodded. "Can we go to the living room?"

"Of course. I'll make us some herbal tea."

Taryn went into the bathroom to wash her face and compose herself. He grabbed a pair of athletic shorts and put them on before going to the kitchen to start the kettle. By the time she joined him, the tea was ready, and he carried both mugs to the living room. She sat cross-legged at the bend of the sectional sofa, and he positioned himself so that he was facing her. They both took sips of their hot drinks.

"This is about my stepfather," she started.

He had no idea what she was going to share with him, but the fact that this man had caused her to feel uncomfortable about something sexual sent white hot rage coursing through his veins. What the fuck had he done to her?

Taryn could see that Shawn was upset. She held a hand up. "He never touched me. He was horrible, and obviously I'm fucked up, but it's not what you're thinking."

His blood pressure lowered slightly at her words. "Go ahead."

"My mom met Richie when I was twelve, and they got married six months later. In the beginning, it was great. He was a financial consultant and made a lot of money, so we were living in a beautiful apartment, and for the first time ever, I had nice clothes, a phone, and a room of my own that I'd been allowed to decorate."

Shawn's gut wrenched uncomfortably because he knew something bad was coming.

"I was probably fourteen when I started to feel like Richie was looking at me differently. He never said anything, but his eyes were on my body when my mom wasn't around. She worked at the bar, so I'd be alone with him in the apartment at night, and eventually I started locking myself in my room. It took almost two years for me to say something to her, because it was a big thing to accuse someone of being into their stepdaughter."

The rage was back, and his fingernails dug into his palms because he was clenching his fists so tightly.

She continued, "He was often out of town for business, so on one of her nights off, I told her how he looked at me. She was really upset, both by the idea of her husband doing that and by me waiting so long to tell her. But then...then she started defending him. She said that obviously he wasn't some kind of sicko if he'd never touched me or said anything inappropriate."

Shawn was flummoxed. How could she choose a man over what her own child was sharing with her? Even if Taryn was wrong, she should have investigated the situation. "Did your mom tell Richie that you thought he was a pervert?"

"Of course. She told him almost immediately and he acted mortified. They sat me down and said that they were going to find a good therapist, since I was letting my imagination run away with me. I hung out with an older crowd, so they tried to convince me that I'd heard or seen too much with my friends and that it had warped me. For months they gaslit me into believing that I was crazy, but my gut told me that he was dangerous."

"Was he mad at you for accusing him? Did he take it out on you?" he asked.

"He was too smart for that. If anything, he was even nicer to me, always bending over backwards to buy me things and act as if he was my dad. I still felt like he was thinking about me in a way he shouldn't. When I was barely seventeen, I'd had enough, so I took off to the US with a friend of mine who'd already graduated high school."

He remembered her saying that she'd run away to New York. The pieces were starting to come together, but he still didn't have an answer to the thing that had prompted this conversation.