Fractured [SHAWN MENDES]

~61~

Taryn arrived at Shawn's about half an hour before he was due to get home, letting herself in with the key he'd given her for her birthday. She figured traffic might be light since it was a Monday, and it was always better to be early rather than late. She curled up on the over-stuffed sofa and pulled one of the soft blankets over her body. It wasn't long before she drifted off to sleep. She didn't hear Shawn enter the condo or walk over to her. In fact, until he kissed her softly on the lips, she was dead to the world.

"Wake up, sleeping beauty," he whispered. "I brought you a treat from the city."

Her eyes fluttered open and slowly adjusted to the dim light so that she could make out the perfect face that was just inches from hers. "Hi. I missed you," she said, her voice scratchy from sleep.

"Is it wrong that I kinda like that?"

"It depends on if you missed me, too." She sat up and stretched. "Geez...I can't believe how hard I was sleeping. What time is it?"

"Of course I missed you, and it's ten thirty-five. They didn't let us disembark for forty minutes because of some security issue. I texted you, but you were probably already asleep. Did you have a long day?" he asked as he sat next to her and pulled her into his arms.

"It wasn't strenuous, but it was mentally taxing. I had therapy and then I spent the afternoon looking into bank loans. Did you say you brought me a treat?"

He kissed the top of her head. "A cupcake from Magnolia."

"Yum!"

They both got up and moved to the kitchen where Shawn had set the bakery box on the counter. Inside were two vanilla cupcakes with pink icing and white sprinkles. He took them out and put each one on a paper napkin in front of the counter stools before getting two glasses of water.

Taryn took a bite of the delicious little cake and sighed. "Thank you. I needed something indulgent."

"I'm happy to indulge you in other ways after we're done," he said with a wink.

Her period had arrived late that afternoon and sex was not something she was feeling. Sometimes it was wonderful and the perfect cure for cramps, but other times she didn't want anything anywhere near her vag. "Not tonight. I'm closed for monthly upkeep."

He kept track of her cycle in his head, so he wasn't surprised by this news. "If you want me to-"

"I'm good. Maybe tomorrow."

"So what's up with the bank loan?" he asked.

"It's not that big a deal. Amber suggested that I look into small business start-up loans for the brew pub, so I was busy researching that. I also looked at a couple commercial real estate listings online, and there's an old warehouse near the Distillery District that might be worth looking at. It's definitely got room for both a brewery and a bar, though it might be smart to start small as just a bar and then start making my own craft beer down the road."

Shawn bit his tongue. He'd happily fund the entire project, but he knew she'd balk at the idea, especially since she was already looking at loans. "I didn't realize you wanted to do this so soon."

"Honestly? Neither did I. I've been dragging my feet about it and then today I realized that if I don't start making my dream a reality, I'll find myself working at my mom's bar at forty."

He felt that the more likely scenario was that she'd be married to him and they'd be raising a couple kids, but saying that out loud felt weird. "I'm a strong supporter of following dreams."

"Enough about me. Tell me about the meeting! Did you get a good vibe from the label?" she asked excitedly before cramming the last bite of cupcake in her mouth.

He ran a hand over the back of his neck. "It was good. They offered me a really fair contract, which I definitely was not expecting."

"That's amazing! I'm so proud of you! And to think...last year you didn't think this would ever happen! Now you're going to be making music and living the life you love."

Her enthusiasm made him feel warm all over. "Thanks, baby. I haven't signed it, so no need to celebrate quite yet."

Her face fell "Why not?"

"Because this is going to change my life, and you are a huge part of that life, so I think you need to be a part of the decision-making process."

"I think my answer is pretty obvious! If it's a solid contract, then you should move forward with it and start your comeback."

He leaned over and gave her a kiss, tasting the vanilla frosting on her lips. "I love you for being so supportive, but it's not quite that simple. They want me to release a single soon, and then an album right after. That will mean a world tour, though I'm guessing I'll be taking a step back to something smaller scale than where I left off. Maybe fifty shows in arenas or even more intimate venues. I'm going to be gone a lot, honey, and that's going to impact our relationship."

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"I mean...I guess I never really thought about all that. This whole time we've been together, you've been you, not a world famous recording artist. Of course there have been plenty of times that I'm very aware of who you are, but for the most part, you're simply my insanely handsome and ridiculously sweet boyfriend," she explained.

"Hopefully you'll find that I'm the exact same person if I successfully restart my career; I just won't be as accessible. Unless, of course, you want to come with me when I travel." He watched her face carefully to see how she reacted to this suggestion.

Taryn chewed her lip as she processed everything he was saying. The idea of joining him as he toured the world sounded wonderful, but it didn't quite fit with the plans she'd been making. "I think you should go ahead and sign, and you and I can figure out how we'll handle it later."

This was the kind of non-committal answer he'd been afraid of getting. "Will you at least travel to Los Angeles with me for the signing? I might stay there a week to record the single." He hesitated a moment before continuing. "I'm a little nervous about going there, and I think having you there with me would help."

"When do you think you'll go?"

"As soon as possible. If I'm going to do this, I want to start right away. I spent the whole flight home trying to decide on the song that would be a good single," he told her.

"A week is a long time to get coverage at the bar on such short notice, and I made an appointment with a realtor to see the warehouse. If I love it, I'll need to meet with a loan officer."

"So that's a no to going with me?" He couldn't hide the disappointment in his voice.

Taryn placed a hand on his shoulder. "I wish I could. If you really think you can't go there without me, then maybe I can go for a day or two, but a week won't work."

The last thing he wanted was to come across as needy. That quality was right up there with clingy and smothering, and he'd vowed to never be any of those things again. "I'll be fine, honey. You'll be a text or a phone call away, so it's not like you can't support me from home."

Later that night, long after she'd fallen asleep spooned against his body, Shawn couldn't turn off his brain to sleep. He kept thinking that if they couldn't make a simple trip to California work, there was no way she'd be touring with him. When he was at the top of his career, he was away from home much more than he was there. It wasn't just tour; there were so many commitments that required him to be on other continents. His life had been a whirlwind of travel and back then, he'd loved that life. After he lost everything, he'd focused on what he was missing and had sunk into depression. Taryn changed that. The last year with her in his life had in many ways been the happiest he'd experienced. If his career caused them to grow apart or break up, he wasn't sure if he'd have that type of content happiness again.