Fractured [SHAWN MENDES]

~53~

How was it?

Taryn looked down at the text from Shawn and sighed. She'd just visited the sixth apartment that week and once again it wasn't doable. This time it was out of her price range, and even though her mom offered to help out, she wasn't going to take any money from her. She was twenty-seven years old and needed to support herself, and besides, her mother needed to start building up the extra money she'd soon have in a savings account for her retirement.

Half the apartments were too expensive, and the ones she could afford were so disgusting that she was surprised the city hadn't condemned the building. The woman who had shown her the unit today suggested that she start looking at living with another person since that was cheaper. She'd actually snorted, because of course she'd thought the same thing. Unfortunately, she had no one to live with.

It's not going to work out

See you tonight

She started her car, ignoring the loud rumbling sound it was making every time she drove it. She had neither the time nor energy to deal with that on top of everything else. Then she drove to her therapy session, which she'd scheduled since Richie's reappearance had been messing with her mind. Taryn kept having this recurring nightmare that he was watching her, and several times she'd woken up and sworn she saw him standing in the corner of Shawn's room, but when she switched on her phone's flashlight, no one was there.

"This is your first emergency session, so let jump right in to what's going on," Amber suggested from her velour chair.

Taryn was sitting opposite her therapist on an overstuffed floral couch that was probably in style thirty years ago. It was the comfiest sofa ever, so she understood when it had never been replaced. The fact that it was old and worn made her feel okay about putting her feet up on it, though she always took her shoes off first. "I saw Richie."

"Shit," Amber muttered, and Taryn loved her for reacting so honestly. "Tell me about it, and then we'll focus on what it meant to you."

An hour later, she was back in her car feeling emotionally drained. She'd cried a lot, but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing since she had been holding her emotions in for a week. Amber told her that she needed to allow herself to feel her feelings and react to them; bottling them up could be one reason why they were manifesting in her nightmares. She also said that she needed to tell Shawn how seeing Richie was causing her anxiety. There'd been no time to talk about her living situation or how her boyfriend didn't want her officially moving in, but she'd be back for her regularly scheduled appointment soon enough. Maybe by then she'd have found an apartment so that wouldn't even be an issue. They also needed to revisit the letter from her dad, but that could wait.

When Taryn got to the bar, Earl was in his usual spot eating lunch. He liked to get whatever the soup of the day was, and today it happened to be minestrone, one of his favorites. She stopped and chatted with him for a minute before going behind the bar to grab a clean apron.

"Hello!" Tricia said when she emerged from the kitchen with several bottles of alcohol. "How was the apartment?"

"It's a no."

Her mother put the booze on the shelf and approached her. That's when she saw her red-rimmed eyes. "Have you been crying?"

"I had a therapy session and sometimes I cry. I'm fine...no need for you to worry," she replied with a dismissive wave of her hand and a forced smile. She still hadn't told her about Richie and was never going to, if she could help it.

"I'm here if you ever want to talk to someone. You know that, right?"

"Thank you, Mama. I promise I'm okay, though."