Fractured [SHAWN MENDES]

~70~

Shawn realized Taryn was sleeping by the sound of her steady breathing. She was probably the only person who could fall asleep so easily on a hard floor, which he found both amusing and endearing. The sun had set over an hour ago, so the warehouse was almost completely dark, aside from the moonlight streaming in through the huge pane glass windows. If it weren't so chilly, or if they had a second blanket to cover their naked bodies, he'd gladly stay there the whole night. Taryn was shivering in her sleep, so he knew it was time to go.

"Honey," he whispered as he gave her a kiss on her forehead, "we need to get going or we'll catch hypothermia."

Her eyes fluttered open and she yawned before correcting him. "You don't 'catch' hypothermia. I think it's more accurate to say you succumb to it."

"Okay, smarty pants. Either way, we should go to my place where there's a warm comfy bed. I can stop by the drugstore for condoms on the way."

He knew he'd misspoke by the look on her face, and her words confirmed it. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why?" he asked, though he dreaded her answer.

"This was amazing, but it was a one time thing. I'm not ready to make any decisions about our relationship right now, especially given that you're gone all the time." She sat up and started gathering her clothes.

The pizza he'd eaten earlier suddenly felt like lead in his stomach. He'd assumed that when they kissed, it meant their break was over and they were working things out. Hearing that it had been nothing more than a hook-up hurt like hell. Without saying a word, he stood up and got dressed.

"You're mad," she said softly once she had her clothes back on.

Paul kept saying he needed to communicate, and this was a good time to start. "Yeah, Taryn, I am. But more than that, I'm disappointed and hurt. I thought...I thought this was us getting back together. I wish you'd made it clear that it wasn't."

"I'm sorry. You are right. We should have established what this was before it went so far. I just got caught up in the moment, and seeing you again brought back so many feelings."

He ran his hands through his hair in exasperation. "Exactly! It brought back the love we have for each other, which is why we shouldn't be on this stupid fucking break!"

"I get that you don't agree with me about this, but can you try to respect that this is what I want?" she asked.

"I don't see the point of both of us being miserable apart when we're happy together! Call me crazy, but I think that love means wanting to spend time with your partner."

"Love also means giving your partner space when they need it."

"It's a little ironic that all this started when you accused me of not loving you enough because my single isn't about you, yet here you are sending me signals that you don't love me even half as much as I love you."

Even in the dim light, he could see that her cheeks were red with anger. "You know that's not true! I love you more than anything!"

"You have a messed up way of showing it!" he shouted.

With a shaky voice, she said, "You need to leave now, before one of us says something that we'll both regret."

He knew she was right. They were dangerously close to ending things forever. He turned and ran down the stairs, not stopping until he was in his car, which he peeled out of the parking lot.

Taryn stayed at the bar since she was in no state to drive. Plopping down on the blanket, she pulled her knees to her chest and cried harder than she had in ages. What now? Did they just continue their break with this new unresolved fight simmering between them? How on earth could they ever reconcile when things were so terrible?