Fractured [SHAWN MENDES]

~11~

Shawn sat down on the sofa before resuming his story. "I tried to fight for our relationship after she dropped the bomb that she'd cheated. I knew I'd never be able to forgive my friend, but I loved Winter so much that I was willing to try with her. That night, I begged and pleaded for the chance to go to couples therapy, but she refused. Looking back, I know we never would have worked after that kind of betrayal, but in the moment I was desperate to hold on to her."

"You were in love. That's understandable," Taryn said with obvious empathy.

"Winter asked me to keep the circumstances of our break-up quiet for both our sakes. She said that if it came out that she'd cheated, we'd both look bad. She told me that being a cuck would make me look pathetic, and given that I felt that way internally, I believed her. We jointly released a statement that we were going our separate ways but still cared about each other. I packed my things and moved into a rental so that I could figure out what I was going to do next. Part of me wanted to go back to Toronto, but another part of me wanted to stay closer to her, just in case. A week passed and I sunk into a really dark place. I wasn't eating or sleeping or showering. I kept thinking about how we'd been fine when I was home for a few days before I left for Australia to finish my tour. We'd cooked a nice dinner, shared a bottle of our favorite wine, and danced in the kitchen as the sun set over the Pacific. How could I not have noticed that she'd already stopped loving me? Jesus...I missed her so much during that week. Losing Winter broke me."

Taryn had been through some painful break-ups, but she'd never been engaged to someone who then cheated. She understood why that was especially hard. "Did you seek help?" she asked.

He shook his head. "No, unfortunately. I was clearly depressed, and an emergency therapy session probably would have helped. No one knew that she'd cheated, so when I talked to my friends and family, I couldn't tell them the circumstances of the break-up. Having no one to vent to made it all worse. I was at my lowest when Winter called me out of the blue. She said that she felt guilty keeping her engagement ring and wanted to return it to me. I'd completely forgotten about it, and I told her to just keep it. She said she couldn't and that since she was giving it back, I needed to give her the car."

"Seems a little petty."

"I didn't think much of it at first, but then I remembered how much my friend loved the car. He used to ask me if he could drive when we went places. I was certain she was going to take my car and give it to him."

Taryn murmured, "What a bitch."

It dawned on Shawn that if Taryn had said that two days ago, before he saw Winter's interview, he probably would have snapped at her for speaking about his ex-fiancée that way. Was he finally turning a corner and letting go?

"I agreed to make the trade, and we set up a time to meet at a coffee shop in Santa Monica that was walking distance from my apartment. This is embarrassing to admit, but part of me hoped that when she saw me again, she'd consider trying to make things work. I arrived a few minutes early and took a seat, then I waited for over an hour and she never showed up or acknowledged my texts so I went home. Much later that day, she texted to tell me that she was at the airport headed off on a surprise romantic getaway. She'd had to skip seeing me so that she could pack and had been so excited about the trip that she forgot to let me know. Then she said that she'd left the ring- a ring that cost half a million dollars- in an envelope in the mailbox. She messaged that I could just park the car by the garage and put the keys under the mat. Her housekeeper would retrieve them later."

Taryn pursed her lips before commenting. "Do you think she ever planned on meeting you?"

"Probably not. At the time I was so heartbroken over not seeing her and upset that she'd rubbed in my face that she was going away with him, that I couldn't see it. I went out to the car and sat there sobbing for over half an hour. That's when I sent her the texts that ended up being all over the news. I'm paraphrasing since there were a lot of them, but they said that I loved her and needed to talk to her when she got back from her trip. I begged her to give us a chance to talk. And then I said that I didn't know what I'd do if she said no."

"I remember the texts. The prosecutor said you made a direct threat and that it proved that what you did was premeditated."

Shawn sighed. "Yes, but I swear to you, I didn't mean it that way. If anything I was worried that I was a danger to myself."

She reached out and took his hand in hers. "I'm so sorry you were hurting like that."

"Look, Taryn...I'm telling all you this, but my goal isn't to make you think that what I did was justified, because it absolutely was not. I fucked up and I deserved to be punished for it. I just want you to hear my side of it."

"I get that."

He took a couple cleansing breaths before finishing the story. "After I texted her, I drove to what had been my home for two years and I parked the Lincoln at the top of the hill so that I could get the ring. It was there in the mailbox inside a padded envelope. She hadn't written anything on it, not even my name. I tossed it through the open window onto the passenger seat and stared at the house. The driveway was sloped and at the bottom of the hill was a large tree. As I stood there, I thought about how much I didn't want that asshole to get my car. He had Winter so why should he get that, too? That's when it hit me. I could put the car in neutral, give it a little push, and it would roll down the driveway into the tree. I knew the car would be totaled, and I'd happily pay her the value of it, but at least they'd both get the message that they'd betrayed me."

"That's...that's a really shitty thing to do. I get wanting to do it, but following through is another thing entirely," Taryn said.

"I knew that in the moment. That's why I left it up to fate. I'd been listening to a playlist Winter and I made years ago. I told myself that if she didn't text me and if our song came on, I'd do it. Otherwise, I'd park it by the garage, leave the keys, and walk away from the car, house, my friend, and Winter forever. I climbed into the car and switched the gear to neutral, then I got back out and stood by the door watching the sunset. I checked my phone and saw that Winter hadn't replied; then I waited for the song that was playing to end-"

"Holy shit. Your song came on, didn't it?" she asked breathlessly.

"It did. I didn't even really give it much thought. I went to the back of the car and gave it a shove. At first it rolled slowly and was headed straight for the tree, but because of the grade or curve of the driveway, it veered to the right. I ran after it when I realized it wasn't going to hit the intended target, though it's not like I could stop it. It was shocking how much momentum it picked up, which apparently had to do with the weight. Those old cars were built heavy. It passed the tree and crashed into the corner of the house. The entire left side collapsed."

"I saw photos of it. Didn't a lot of the house have to be torn down and rebuilt?"

"Yep. The structural integrity was compromised. Part of my sentence was reparation for the damage, so I got copies of the contractor's invoices," he explained.

"So what did you do after?"

"I called the police and turned myself in. It's not like I could have gotten away with it, and I knew I'd committed a crime."

Taryn couldn't help but respect that he'd immediately owned up to what he'd done. "I really want to hear about the trial but it's so late. My mom is going to be concerned if she wakes up, even though I told her what I was doing. Actually, she won't be worried, but she will jump to conclusions."

"We can talk another time," Shawn said as his cheeks turned pink from what she'd just implied.

"How about tomorrow? I guess I mean tonight. I'll grab a pizza and come by around seven."

He smiled. "Great. In the meantime, think about what I've told you. If you have any questions, I'm willing to answer them."