Best Friends

21 Cuddles

"Adam? Adam can I come in?" I knocked lightly
"Come in. It's open" I walked into the room and closed the door behind me before walking over to him
"So Tom's staying. I don't want him driving home in that shitty weather. And I kinda had a go at him. Except not really but I kinda did cus I told him off for asking if I was okay but he really was just being kind and maybe I was being too mean but I'm so sick of people asking if I'm okay all the time and you don't let me think on my own because you're scared I'm gonna-"
"Lexi" Adam said sternly. I realised that I was anxiously rambling and my heart rate was high. My breathing quickened and he guided me down onto the bed beside him sat up against the headboard "in" he said drawing a breath in "and out" he released his breath "Go on. In...And out" he continued to repeat himself until I had calmed down "That enough? Or d'ya need me to carry on?"
"That's good. I'm sorry." He chuckled softly and laid down on the bed getting comfy as though I wasn't there
"You staying?"
"I got nothing to wear to bed in here" he pointed to his dresser drawer and I got up to search for what he was gesturing to. Inside were his t-shirts and some joggers
"Wear what you like." I changed into some grey joggers and a hoodie that I'm 99% sure was actually Tom's "Are you sleeping in here or just staying for a bit?" He turned round to face me as I got into the bed
"I don't know" I said still unsure "Adam?"
"Yeah?" He said softly
"Can I have a cuddle?" He chuckled softly and brought me close to lie on his chest his arm wrapped underneath me and his other one gently messing with my hand that was across him "I wish I would have to come to you before leaving last time. Maybe I would have stayed. I don't know what I'd have done if you would have resented me this past month or so."
"Doesn't bear thinking about right now. You gonna settle down or not?"
"I don't know. Depends on how long I can wind you up for until you kick me out of your bed"
"Awe don't say it like that. Sounds like there's something more going on"
"You know what I meant. And to actually answer your question I am going to try and go to sleep"
"Good."

I woke up when it was still dark outside. I knew Adam either hasn't slept or had woken up earlier because he was still gently rubbing my back to calm me down.
"What time is it?"
"6am."
"Did you get any sleep?"
"No. I'm fine though."
"Why?"
"I don't actually know why. Guess my body just didn't want to sleep"
"Is it cause of me?"
"Maybe. But don't worry about that. I'll sleep later"
"Did Tom sleep downstairs?"
"I don't know. But he is awake. He just popped his head round the door to tell me he was getting a shower."
"Okay." I sighed "Is there anything we have to do today?"
"Dom isn't coming anymore so no."
"Why? Did he back out?"
"No. I called him and sorted something out"
"What else did he say?"
"Said he thinks that he pushed it all on you a bit too quickly so he wasn't surprised it was all a bit overwhelming."
"Too right." I squeezed my arm a little tighter around him to give him a hug "Thanks though. It's nice to have you looking out for me"
"As always" he ruffled my hair making me roll my eyes and mutter 'fuck you' under my breath
"Can we go do something today? Yknow make the most of it since you're with me instead of your family"
"You really think you'd be lay here right now if I was mad about that?"
"No. But I still feel bad. Like I've just caused a problem. Like what Dom said about how I fuck everything up."
"Don't think too much about that. You know he thinks the world of you and didn't mean it."
"Does he really think that much of me? Seems like he hasn't really been the same since I came back."
"Well I'm not the same either."
"That's different"
"How so? Cus my bad experience changed me. I lost you. And then I saw my best friend fucking dying. And so I learned to value the people I have a little more."
"Cus you didn't hurt me."
"It's only what you used to do. We fought a lot when we first became friends because you'd never had someone there for you the way i was. But we moved past it and you met Tom and Mikey and we became family."
"I'm sorry for that by the way"
"It's alright now. But everyone makes mistakes. And he's learning to love you in a different way than what he's used to. It's not as casual. And maybe how strong that is scares him."
"Maybe. I still don't want to talk to him today though. I kinda like it being just us. Hasn't been like this for ages. Not without drinking"
"Alright. We can go out like you wanted."
"I want to stay here right now. It's too early to get out of bed"
"Agreed" I let go of him and lay on my back staring at the ceiling
"We could talk? I saw this really nice dress whilst I was out with Jem and Izzy."
"Tell me more." He said sarcastically
"Fine then what do you want to talk about?"
"No. Go on. You seem excited. Tell me all about what you did?" I smiled and turned onto my side to face him
"Okay. I will."

"That's my hoodie"
"I know" I said grinning at him and sipping my water
"Then why are you wearing it?"
"Cus it was in Adams drawer. You're not gonna make me take it off are you?" I pouted and he rolled his eyes
"No. I guess you could wear it. Oh this is for you by the way" he handed me a small box "I know you don't wear makeup much but it's your favourite one and it broke. So I got you a new one." I opened up the lipstick and smiled as he'd bought me the specific one
"How did you-"
"I had to take the old container into the shop and get the lady to show me where it was. She was like 'for your sister?' and so I just nodded along. Closest thing to I guess" I smiled slightly not making a big deal of his offhand comment
"Awe thanks. You off?"
"Uh yeah. Nice to see you though. Have a good Christmas" I gave him a hug
"You too" he stayed there for a while before pulling away "See you after Christmas yeah?"
"Yeah" he nodded and left the kitchen to go and get ready. I didn't even get a second of peace before Adam came in
"You figured out where to go?" I shook my head "Well what about we do this?" He handed me his phone and I scrolled to see what he was talking about
"Sick. Let's do it"