Best Friends

56 I Still Love Him

I woke up to Tom lazily poking my face. He was still flat out against my chest the only movement being the slight jab of his arm every time he poked me. I looked down at him and smiled
"You having fun there?"
"No. That's why I woke you up. Cus I was bored."
"Fuck off Tom." I whined closing my eyes again. There was a small moment of mercy before he started poking me yet again "You're so fucking annoying"
"I know." He said smiling. He stopped poking me and laid there quietly
"You think this is it for us?"
"What do you mean?"
"You think this is us set? Dom's doing better. And so is Adam. He's gotta a sure fire girlfriend in that abi girl. If he chooses to get with her that is. You're growing. And doing so much better after the breakup. And look at me, eh? Getting married. Having a baby. It's all falling right into place."
"Is this what you think about so early in the morning?" I chuckled slightly
"Yeah. Guess it is."
"I think you're doing alright. You're gonna do big things I know it."
"God you sound like my fucking dad"
"I've seen you grow up. I wish I did more to help you out because that shit was rough as fuck. But I always knew."
"So I'm not the only one getting deep at 9am?"
"No. But it's true. It's all laid out for you now. I think that there's no need for that wall you put up. You can let it down"
"I guess. But I already have in some ways. Back when I was 16 I would let any of you even touch me if you weren't Dom. Now we're cuddled up on the sofa." I closed my eyes and sighed with both relief and sheer relaxation "You're really important to me. More than I could ever say."
"Right back at ya"
"What if Dom sees those photos and articles?"
"He won't believe them. I don't think so anyways"
"And what if he does? What if I have to come back home? I don't have a fucking home Tom i-"
"Calm down. I'll come with you."
"You can't do that."
"I can and I will if I have to. But I promise you it won't come to that."
"Okay. I believe you." He reached his hand up and touched the side of my face gently
"Stop worrying. It's all gonna be alright. Like you said. This is us all set."
"I guess it is."

"What the fuck is this!" I jumped which scared fuck out of Tom
"What?" I asked quickly pushing tom so he would get up
"This!" Dom said thrusting the phone in my hand
"What the fuck!"
"Dom you know this is all trash news."
"Do I?"
"You seriously think I would cheat on you? With Tom!"
"It all makes sense. She was right"
"Who?"
"She told me it was weird and then this just confirms it! Is that kid even mine!"
"Yes this kids yours! I lost my virginity to you! You literally were fucking there!"
"But you could have done it with him after! There was plenty of times! Bet you didn't even go to his ex girlfriends house! Did ya!"
"Dom you're being ridiculous now! Calm down!"
"No! You cheated on me with my best friend!"
"He's like my fucking brother Dom! I ain't gonna fuck him ever!"
"You said that about me!"
"Who the fuck has been getting in your head about all this?"
"That's not important! Look me in the eyes and tell me you didn't cheat on me!"
"No"
"Lex what the fu-" Tom began but I cut him off
"No. I ain't gonna confirm anything. If you don't trust me then that's it I'm done."
"So she was right"
"Who!" I screamed tears now stewing down my face "Who the fuck is telling you all this shit?"
"Ashley. Said she saw you two at the beach acting all cuddly with each other. That it seemed off."
"And you believed her?"
"She has no reason to lie"
"Yes she does Dom! She's a spiteful little bitch that wants you to herself! She can have you I don't fucking care"
"Fine. Go home. I'll do just fine on this tour without you" I could see in his eyes that he hated every word he spoke but he was hurting so he carried on "I'll see you in court when my kids born"
"Your kid! Your fucking kid!" Adam shouted "I'll fucking fight you in court!"
"Oh so you're on her side too?"
"Yeah. Have fun doing the tour without me"
"And me" Tom spoke up standing behind me to quite literally back me up
"It's not like you fucking matter anyway." I lunged for him but Tom pulled me back
"I don't ever want to see you again. You ruined everything. We were doing so good."
"Don't kid yourself Lexi."
"We were. I was talking to Tom this morning about how I think I am finally happy. I thought we fucking were."
"Please. I ain't been happy since you left.aybe if you'd have stayed i-"
"Oi!" Mikey yelled getting involved for the first time "Get your shit together and stop blaming that poor girl!"
"I was just saying i-"
"Go on. Say it. I dare ya" he shook his head and left the room "Lex come here" Mikey beckoned
"No." I said sniffling up the tears
"Lexi I know your upset but will you please come here." I walked over to him and looked up feeling smaller than I was "I'm gonna have to stay here alright?" He gently cupped my face but I pulled him away "Lexi I love you. I really really do. But me leaving Dom alone is not a good idea. Not right now."
"So you're choosing him?" I asked
"No. It's just-"
"You're choosing him. That's alright. But I don't wanna fucking see you again."
"Lexi. Please?"
"No. I hope you're happy. I'm going home."
"Where's home exactly?"
"I thought it was with you but you proved otherwise. I'm gonna stay in a hotel. Then get a flight asap"
"Lexi i-"
"Bye Michael" I pulled my ring off and pushed it into his hand "Have that"

"He's getting bad again" I whispered "He pushed me away last time and look what happened. I know that's what's happening again." Tom looked up at Adam for guidance and they soon switched places hoping the other could help.
"He's gonna be alright. He's strong our Dom"
"Yeah? Is that what you'll say when you're at his funeral? How strong he was? I'm such a fucking idiot for leaving. If I'd have just let him-"
"Listen here and listen fucking good Lexi Jackson. You will not take anything from anyone okay?" I nodded but didn't get up from where I was lay on the bed "And you will especially not take it from Dom or Ashley. It's not wrong and trust me if we thought you defending yourself was wrong we wouldn't be here."
"Thanks for coming. But you can go back."
"Where would you go?"
"With mum. She'll take me in regardless of what Dom's done. And maybe she'll fucking believe me."
"There's a flight tomorrow. Three seats next to each other. Two pm"
"Take it." Adam said without even consulting me first "We need to get her home. And I need to get out of this fucking country before I hurt him"
"Fuck!" I groaned rolling into my back "It's come full circle to bite me in the arse."
"But you got us."
"Promise you'll never leave me."
"Promise" the both said exactly in sync. I nodded and rolled onto my side facing my back to Adam again.
"Can we cuddle?"
"What? All of us?"
"Just watch a film or something. I don't want to be alone." I couldn't see but I knew the boys exchanged a look before Tom appeared on the other side of the bed
"Move over then." I smiled sitting up and allowing him to get into the bed "Fresh start. Without him. And if things change that's okay."
"Promise. I know you already did but promise again"
"We both promise." Adam said taking my hand in his. I nodded
"A fresh start" I repeated "Without him" I sighed and wanted the bed to simply swallow me up right there "But I still love him."

Thank you for the support means the world. Ily 🖤