Best Friends

41 Nothing There

"so it's Lexi and Dom correct?"
"Yeah. That's us" I said still nervous
"Just lay down on the bed there. We do a quick ultrasound to see how it's going." I did as she told me and her face seemed to look puzzled when she finally got to the scan part "So did you say you definitely saw a positive test?"
"Uh yeah. Why is something wrong?"
"Have you definitely missed your period?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"There's no baby here."
"But I haven't bled. I can't have miscarried and the odds of a false positive is really low right? I looked it up. I only took one test because it was in the cabinet from one of the boys' girls." I was beginning to panic at this point and Dom wrapped his arms around me holding me tight but still letting me look at the woman
"It's still possible. And there's other reasons to miss your period. Have you been under any stress recently?"
"Uh yeah. But I had a regular period over the past few months I've had stress."
"Sometimes the body is strange. But I'm sorry to tell you there is no baby in there. Your body looks fine so you can try again soon." I looked up at Dom "Unexpected?"
"Uh yeah. Kind of."
"Listen. A lot of people in that situation have come here when they have an unexpected pregnancy. I've been in that situation before. If you're ready then you can try whenever. But no pressure. Sometimes situations like this are a blessing."
"Thank you so much" I sat up dangling my legs over the edge of the bed
"It's my job."
"Thanks for the talk though. I know that wasn't part of the job description." She scribbled something onto a piece of paper and handed it to me
"Just in case you want to try again"
"Thanks love. Your kindness is appreciated." Dom said softly rubbing his hand up and down my back but I could still feel him shaking.
"That's fine. Now let's get everything signed so you're free to leave"

"Hi lex how did it go?" Adam said. His face fell when he looked up from his phone
"There's no baby" I mumbled
"Speak up sweetheart"
"I said there's no fucking baby. There was never a baby. The test was wrong" I barged past him and went upstairs

Dom's POV
"Don't" Adam warned when I went to go after her "I know you want to mate but it's not gonna help"
"I really thought we were gonna have a baby"
"Cmon. Let's have a beer and talk about it" he gestured for me to follow him into the kitchen. Tom was stood there confused as to why Lexi wasn't with me "Hey Tom d'ya mind going upstairs to keep a listen out for Lexi? Don't go in just make sure you're up there if she needs someone" he didn't even question it he just nodded and went upstairs
"I was too fucking harsh on him. I know you all love her like family."
"We do. But that's not what this is about. Cmon talk to me"
"The girl said there was nothing there. That she was the small percentage of false positives. And that her period being missed might be due to stress." He handed me an opened beer "I really thought I was going to be a dad. I wanted it. With her."
"I don't think it's time. Dom don't take this the wrong way but neither of you are particularly planning out for the future right now are you?"
"I didn't want kids so soon before I found out. But then it became a real possibility. A little me or her to take out to the park or to concerts and the studio to learn daddies new music first."
"You can still have that. You will have that. And uncle Adams gonna teach them to play guitar and to cook and be annoying. It will all work out. Just not yet."
"Lexi really knows what's up when she comes to you for advice"
"She comes to me for hugs. She says it's for advice and she mostly takes it on board but I know she just wants a cuddle." I took my chance and leaned down slightly to hug him tight "Yeah okay. I guess you can have one too"
"Thanks mate"
"Anytime"

Lexis POV
I finally got up from the bed and walked into the room where Tom was staying. I didn't knock. Just walked in and sat down on the floor with my back against the wall
"There's no baby"
"What do you mean?"
"There wasn't a baby to start with. The test was wrong. I missed my period for some other reason. I'm not pregnant" he stayed sat on the bed keeping his distance from me
"And how do you feel about that" I shrugged my shoulders "Cmon you gotta speak up about how you're feeling. It won't go any further than this room. I promise"
"I don't know how I feel. Part of me is relieved. I can't have a baby. Me and Dom are not ready for that. We haven't planned our future or anything."
"But the other part?"
"Wants it so badly. Is that wrong?"
"No. It's not wrong. Who told you that?"
"My mum. She had me at a young age. Didn't want me. Got chucked into the care system when I was still a little kid."
"You are not her. I've already told you I think that you'd be an amazing mum. You're 21. Starting your own life. Doing your own thing. You can want whatever you feel like."
"I needed to hear that."
"I figured that's why you came. So what do you want to do now?"
"Right now. Or with the situation"
"With the situation."
"I want a baby. I think that this is the perfect place to raise a kid. Me and Dom together. And big house. Big garden. Family. Like I never had until I was grown." I smiled leaning my head fully back against the wall so I was looking up slightly instead of straight ahead "Imagine. You teaching little one how to hold a camera before they can even walk properly. Taking pictures of their dad doing all sorts of mad shit. And them breaking the strings on Adams guitar but him not being mad cus he's a soft arse. And the holes in drums that will definitely ensue from moody toddler strops. It would be everything I want."
"Sounds like you have done some planning. I know your kid won't go without love. That's all that matters. And trust me no one has a fucking clue what to do at first."
"You really think I should talk to Dom about it?"
"I think you should do whatever makes you happy."
"What about everyone else? They have to live with a baby"
"Fuck everyone else. And Id love to live with a little baby. Last year sucked. Hard. And I think it would be nice to have a fresh start. Quite literally a new life."
"Would you love my kid as much as you love me?" I didn't look up at him and for a moment I thought I'd really upset him
"Yes." He said simply. Straight to the point. Couldn't complain
"I'm being fucking stupid. I can't parent a kid. Can't even look after my fucking self and I'm just a-"
"You are not a fuck up Lexi Jackson." I hadn't heard my last name spoken like that in a long time. Even when I used to get scolded as a kid it was simply my first name or whatever insult was hurled my way. It actually took me aback for a second because the subject of my birth name was never really discussed.
"Haven't heard my name like that in a long time."
"I'm sorry i- It wasn't meant to offend you- fuck. I just needed you to listen okay?" I smiled fondly watching him get so worked up "what are you smiling at?"
"You. Getting all worked up about it. You should know by now that I would definitely make a point of it if you upset me. But you still worry if you do. That's sweet." The compliment caught him off guard and he went all shy. The room was dark and he deliberately pulled the hood of his hoodie up so I couldn't see his face. I stood up and walked over to him "Awe have you gone all shy?" I tried to pull his hood down but he kept a firm grip on it "Fine. I'll just hug ya like this" I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tight "Thanks for listening."
"You're not a fuck up" he mumbled into the fabric of my own hoodie
"I don't want this Tom to go."
"Cmon. It's not my thing." He said his voice still muffled but he had turned his head so I could hear him better "I can't be there all the time."
"You don't have to be. But I don't want the distant Tom. The guy that only really greets me with a hug that's all. And never really just cuddles with me that often unless I desperately need it." He sighed
"I'm not the one for that. I'm not-"
"Don't you dare say good enough"
"Lex you know it's true"
I pulled away and wiped my eyes quickly
"I'm gonna go downstairs and speak to the boys"
"Lex i-" I cut him off by closing the door behind me.