Alone Again (Naturally)

Carnation (Dedicated to Jubilee)

" DI Murphy could you please elaborate?"

" DI Murphy have you solved this or what?"

" He's clearly got 'er hidden under the floorboards!"

" Are the allegations about you dating-"

" What does your boyfriend think of this?"

"Lo?"

" When is this going to end girl? The budget is blown!"

"Lo?"

" I swear Murphy if this isn't closed by April you're off."

" LO?"

The figure sprung up with immanent need as she clutched onto her nightdress, her heart rate matching her breathing simultaneously. Her peripheral vision blurred as she scanned the room, sweat dripping down her head.

" Lo?" A soft voice asked, " It's me darling."

" Dave..." Penny whispered, finding her breathing returning to a more regular pace, tears rushing to her eyes; " I'm sorry..."

" Come 're." He sighed affectionately, hugging the ghost-like figure.

" I can't get him out of my mind." She sobbed,

" I know darling, I know..."

" Better?" Dave asked as he placed a cup of tea in front of Penny, taking his place back in their bed.

" Better." She nodded whilst rubbing her eyes laced with sleep,

" Do you think you might need to see someone about-"

" I'm fine." Penny sighed.

" Lo..." He breathed, " We're not just thinking of oursel-"

" I'm not bloody broken!" The brunette cried,

" You're different ever si-"

" Well why do you think?" She began, " You're constantly away on bloody tours, I'm known now and to top it of I'm pregnant!"

" Are you saying you wish you weren't?" He questioned, suddenly feeling distressed.

" Of course not..." She answered, her expression softening; " I've just... I've gone from Penny to DI Murphy who solved that Enfield case... People aren't emotionally connected to it like I am... The Maculdly's... Dave they lost their little girl... Trust me I want this child more than anything, but I can't help feel... I don't know; guilty."

" Because you've got a child and they still don't have theirs?" Dave replied, before Penny nodded in reply.

" Maybe you need to see them?"

" I don't know..." She sighed, " I'm not supposed to get attached and besides I doubt they'll want to see me."

" You went through the grief as well Lo." He reminded, rubbing soft circles onto her palms.

" But I didn't know Alexandra... I only solved the reason why... Why she was no more..."

" Closure though? That's important, besides I don't think I've ever really got to know Enfield." He assured, looking into her eyes.

" I- I can't just... Not when I'm like this..." Pointing to her growing stomach, only really noticing it.

" So? I'm sure you can still fit in to your flares." He chuckled,

" Most likely." She replied.

" Then we go?"

" I need to go alone."