When you realise

4. The Sorry

Rosie and I made our way into the kitchen, we put the cake in the middle of the bench and I handed Rosie the candles and let her put them where she wanted to, I was just going to get a 3 and a 0 candle but Rosie said it would be funnier if we got 30 candles for the cake, and this little girl had me wrapped around her finger so whatever she wanted she got.

As Rosie was carefully placing the candles in the cake, I didn't realise that Mary had walked through the doors and was now standing beside me. She didn't make a sound to let me know she was there, she just simply came out and said "Thank you", I was startled at first but calmed down in time to give Rosie the next candle.

I gave Mary and side glance and she had grief written all over her face. "U'm" was all I could reply and she just took my free hand and held it in hers like she was begging for forgiveness "Thank you for allowing me to know my granddaughter, I know it was you that made Rosie want to come over and for that I will be forever grateful to you for allowing me to know my granddaughter" she paused and took a deep breath.

"I know you heard everything that was said outside and I am so sorry", it was my turn to take a deep breath at her words. "I can see it in your eyes that you are going to leave and I don't blame you after what my son said, I know I made it difficult for you this past year, whenever I would drop by, but I have never seen my boy so happy, he finally got to see his daughter, we got to see our grandchild, I know he loves you, I can see it when he looks at you", Mary was going to continue talking but I stopped her "please stop, this is so hard already".

I took another look at Rosie and handed her the last candle, she looked up at me after she placed in on the cake, she was so proud of herself, we made a lightning McQueen cake because Hunter was obsessed with cars, Rosie had come to known this when they first watched Cars together and he insisted on watching the second one straight away, I remember them having so much fun together that afternoon, Hunter started pretending to be a car and Rosie got on his back and pretended to be driving and racing around the track.

I smiled at the memory and gave Rosie a kiss on her forehead, I than asked Mary to help Rosie take the cake out. Mary knew that I was leaving. She pulled me forward and hugged me, like a mother would when saying goodbye to one of their children, a hug that I have not received from a mother for as long as I can remember. "There is nothing that would make me happier in this world than my son realising how much he loves you and finally making you apart of this family".

I pulled away from Mary and she wiped the tear away that decided to betray me and fall down my face. I didn't really know what to say to the women that has made the past year of my life unbearable every time I seen her, but I did feel I needed to say something on Melanie's behalf. As she walked towards the door with Rosie a step in front of her I just had to once again try to make peace between two people that love Rosie and will support her when she needs it, "You know Mary, I love your son, so much that the pain I am feeling right now is tearing me apart, but I have to say Melanie didn't try to trap Hunter for his money, she was young and in love for the first time in her life, she did not think there was another way. You cannot continue to blame her for trying to trap your son when she gave you the precious gift of a grandchild and Hunter was right there to help her, not once has she asked him for money, she only took what he offered".

She looked down at Rosie and then straight back at me and the only thing that I can tell on her face is that she looks guilty. She gave me a slight nod than continued to walk out the door holding the cake and Rosie still one step in front of her.

"Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday Dear Hunter", ok that's all I can take listening to, I took a deep breath and walked down the hall, as I reached the bedroom, the main bedroom, the room that Hunter and I had shared so many nights together, the sound of everyone fades out with a "hip hip Hooray, hip hip Hooray".

I am so numb inside now that looking around the room brings nothing but a churning on the inside of my stomach, I just want to get my things and get out of this house as soon as possible. I feel bad that my last good bye to Rosie would be a kiss on her forehead after she had put the last candle on her father's cake, but I will see her again given that her mother is actually now my personal assistant. We really did click after talking that first time and Melanie told me she was struggling to pay rent and she was looking for a better paying job so that she didn't have to ask Hunter for any money, because than his mother would be right, I had an opening at my company and offered her the job, she would be my personal assistant. After telling her the salary, she could not pass it up, I offered her my house in the suburbs, it belonged to my mother, but after her passing I could not bring myself to go back in that house, all I could think of was all the emotional abuse she put me through and I did not want to keep reliving that, given that I had made everything of myself that my mother told me I never would, I still don't know why I never sold it.

I picked up my small overnight bag, It was a bag that I had left here about 8 months ago, I spent so much time here and when Rosie started coming over I could calm her down so much quicker than Hunter, so he suggested that I keep some things at his house for when I stay over and ever since that conversation he never wanted me to leave, he would always say, "you have a change of clothes in the drawer, why not just stay the night" and like any stupid fool that was falling in love that's exactly what I did.

While I was packing my clothes into the bag, I picked up Hunter's birthday present that I had hidden in the drawer, well part of it anyway, it was a card that carried a key and was sealed in an envelope. This key was for something that Hunter had always wanted. I thought this year I should spoil him, why not get him that one thing to let him know how much I love him, after all not only was 30 a big number for a birthday but it was also the first year anniversary of the first time we met, the first time we kissed and the first time we made love.

Holding this envelope just made me feel stupid, I ran my finger over his name. I had searched everywhere for the present that is currently parked in the garage, waiting to be discovered, money was not an issue for me, I had more than enough of it, I just wanted to make him happy, so I bought him the car that he had always dreamed of.

I can't exactly take it back now and I don't want it. It was already in his garage now ready and waiting for him to open this card and finding the key. I walked over to Hunter's side of the bed and left the envelope on his pillow, by tonight he will discover it, I really don't care what he does with it now. He can sell it or keep it. He can give it away for all I care.

I walked back to the drawers and continued to pack my clothes, Just as I picked up my last pj shorts to pack in my bag Hunter walked in, I have already been packing my things for a good 20 minutes so he has only just realised that I was not out there, he wrapped his arms around my waist and asked if I was feeling ok. I looked at my phone, I had texted my driver just before I started packing asking him to come and get me, I was hoping to of actually been able to leave before Hunter knew I was missing, but I still had at least 5 minutes to wait. "I am fine", I coldly answered as I placed the final piece of clothing I had in the draws into the bag.

"Hey what has gotten into you", he said unknowingly while looking at my bag, "are you going home to do some laundry?" A dry chuckle escaped my mouth "Get your hands off me" I said with so much venom, I took a step sideways out of his grasp just the look at this man's face right now has me wanting to swing punches, I guess he realised that when he didn't make an attempt to touch me again. "I thought we were having a great day, please just tell me what is going on" he pleaded.

I turned away and looked at the open drawer, making sure I had not forgotten anything. "I heard everything" was all I could reply in a small voice. He took a sharp breath "Everything, what? What did you hear?"

"Please don't make me repeat how you can have any one, at any time, whenever you would like them because we are not in a relationship..... please don't make me say that you think I will use you and trap you in a relationship...... it actually just might tear me apart right now if I was to say that out loud". At this stage I still did not get up the courage to look at Hunter. I had no idea what to do.

4 minutes, I still had 4 minutes until my driver would arrive to pick me up.