When you realise

30. Office Dinner Dates

I have been back in the office for over an hour now, I decided not to go back to the penthouse, I knew that Hunter would be there, Damian and Melanie both think that I should give him a chance but I am still undecided. Over the past few days, I have realised that yes, I do love him but I have not come to the conclusion of if I want him to be in my life again.

Could I ever feel the way I felt with him again and is any of it worth it?

I know I had to get these contracts signed and finished tonight, I wanted changeover to be as early as tomorrow. I wanted that building and I needed to finalise it to start making changes with a construction company.

Again, Melanie and Damian suggested I ask Hunter and James to undergo the renovations because they were not busy at the moment and they could start straight away but am I ready to work with him, I'm not sure I am even ready to see him again, however I have to admit that he would do an amazing job with what I have visioned for the office space.

That bought me back to thinking about Saturday. I promised Rosie I would take her to the park if she was feeling better, god I hope she is feeling better now, she was so sick this morning, it just broke my heart. I didn't think she would ask for Hunter to come and I certainly never expected him to say yes.

I was trying to read contracts and then my mind would drift, what will happen, will he talk, will he say he never meant anything he said. Scrap it all I need to work. Looking at the contracts again, they may as well of been blank, my mind was solely on him.

A sudden glimpse of earlier popped in my head, Hunter's hands on me leaning in to kiss me, I was frozen, I was not going to move away, he already had me in a complete trance when he thanked me for being there for Rosie, I really think I would have let him kiss me, just being in his arms and having him pull me closer to him, maybe I shouldn't be so reluctant to give him a chance it is clear that I still have feelings for him and if the bulge in his pants when he held me close was any indication, he was having a whole lot of feelings for me as well.

Then the look he gave me as the elevator doors closed had my heart skipping a beat, I could feel my lips turning up, I knew I was smiling, being completely lost in a thought and smiling made me believe only one thing, if Hunter sticks around, I don't think I will be able to hold back for long, it is pretty clear I am in love with him.

I could almost hear my heart and my brain arguing with each other, one wants him and the other one wants me to keep myself guarded. I'm not actually sure which one wants what right now, when my heart wants Hunter my brain is telling me to guard myself and let him go and when I reason with my head, my heart starts hurting and telling me to rethink my decision.

Why is love so hard?

I heard the elevator ding and I looked up in time to see Damian stepping out of the elevator but he wasn't alone, Hunter was holding Rosie as they stepped out as well. My heart stopped beating and I held my breath until I heard Rosie's little voice and the way she would yell Ellie from the elevator.

My heart started beating again and just on habit I moved my chair back so that she had enough room between me and my desktop to jump up and sit on my lap. I continued to look at her as she was wriggling her way out of Hunter's arms and when she was free, she ran straight for me.

"Hi Sweetheart, are you feeling better now" I asked her as she jumped into my lap and threw her arms around me.

"Yep, I is better, tummy no sore now" she said as she leant back to look at me after hugging me.

"I am so glad you are feeling better now princess, you had me worried today" I said while rubbing my hand over her back in a circular motion, but almost like I was tickling her back not massaging it.