Hermione Granger x female reader one shots

Reality of Hogwarts part 5

Hermione: *drinking water*
You: *stares at Hermione*
Harry: you wish that was you huh
You: *looks at a kid hugging his parents*
You: Harry you wish that was you huh
Harry: I-

***
*You, Harry, Ron, and Hermione all enter the common and sit down but you sit on Hermione's lap*
Hermione: *groans* there's literally an open couch over there
You: boys *claps hands*
*Harry and Ron taking over the couch and laying down*
You: I think your seeing stuff Mione you should go see madam Pomfrey because I don't see an open couch.
Hermione: *grumbles*

***

*ron and Harry walking in on Hermione and y/n laying on their bed with only underwear and bras on*
Harry: why are you both half naked
You: I believe the real question is why aren't you half naked
Ron: hmmm she's got a point
Harry: did you just discreetly ask us to join
Hermione: out.now.

***
You: how's the-
Hermione: dont
You: weather
Hermione: y/n stop
You: down there
Hermione: YOUR LITERALLY AN INCH TALLER THAN ME
You: I don't know still seems pretty cloudy don't there.
Hermione: Merlin help me

***
Harry: Happy New Years everyone
You: new year new me
Ron: oh really
You: *looks at hermione*
You: *sighs* new year still gay asf
***

You: I think you have some explaining to do missy
Hermione: what do you mean
You: you know exactly what I mean
Hermione: ok fine I let Ron eat the leftovers from last night
You: you did WHAT
Hermione: heh what
You: I was gonna say you forgot to give me kiss before you left this morning but this-this is just pure betrayal

***
You: I'm tired
Hermione: and I'm tired..of you but you don't see me complaining
You: wasn't that a complaint though
Hermione: shut up
You: that's not what you said last night
Hermione: deep breathes, in *breathes in* out *breathes out*
You: that's what she said
Hermione: oh for the love of Merlin

***
You: I failed my potions exam
Hermione: are you serious right now
You: no I'm y/n good guess though

***
*looking into the mirror of Erised during class*
You: Merlin Hermione put some clothes on
*Hermione in the back of the room*
Hermione: *coughs*
You: OH did I say Hermione I meant H-Hedwig
Harry: whatdidshesayyyy
***
You: I'm hungry
Hermione: There's a full course meal in front of you
You: where *looks around*
Hermione: ME! Dumbass
You: just for that your an appetizer
***
*you and Hermione walk in the great hall hand in hand and sit next to Harry and Ron*
Harry: so are you guys finally a couple
You: were just friends Harry
Hermione: yeah what makes you say that Harry?
Ron: so you aren't a couple?
*bell rings*
You: come on darling we have to get to muggle studies
Hermione: ok love
*you and Hermione leave*
Ron and Harry at the same time: *sighs* WoMeN

***
You: I want to make you come....
Hermione: w-wha-
You: into my dorm so we can study
Hermione; o-ok
You: i want to fuck...
Hermione: *GAY PANIC*
You: ...ing throw this assignment out the window
Hermione: y-yeah
You: I want to be nose deep...
Hermione: y/n
You: in my bed right now sleeping, oh did you say something Mione?
Hermione: lock the door and get undressed

***
*you run into the common room panting*
You: Waffles are just pancakes with muscles.
Ron: bloody genius and they said Hermione is the brightest which of her age.
Harry: brilliant
Hermione: How do you guys sleep at night knowing your dumb
You: how do you sleep at night knowing your short *sticks tongue out*
Hermione: ONE INCH WOMAN!

***
Long one-hehe that's what she said ok I'll stop

*you run in looking flustered and messy, whistles sound throughout the Gryffindor common room*
Fred and George: Y/n got some
You: hide me
Harry: what?
*Hermione comes barging in looking flustered and messy, with an angry scowl*
Hermione:where is she!, I'm gonna murder her
Ron: oh Merlin it's wandless Hermione again-she's terrifying
You: h-hey darling
Hermione: don't "hey darling" me, why are there 60 missing pages out of my "Hogwarts; a history" book
You: I didn't even realize what book it was but i swear it was just supposed to be one paper airplane but I couldn't get the width right and it barely flew so I made more
Hermione: WERE IN A SCHOOL OF MAGIC SO USE MAGIC AND THERES PARCHMENT FOR A REASON YOU WASTED A PERFECTLY GOOD BOOK, you know what this means
You: Love think about how this could affect the both of us, please don't do it
Hermione:  no
You; pleaseeee
Hermione: sex
You: *whines* nooo
Hermione: for
You: I'm sorry
Hermione: a
You: I didn't mean it
Hermione: month
You: TAKE IT BACK, PLEASE IM SORRY, DONT DO THIS LOVE, SURELY YOU DONT MEAN IT
Hermione: *smirks, shrugs her shoulders, and walks out*
You: wait hermione I'll but you a new one
You: I'll buy you two
You: I'll buy the whole fucking stock
Harry: y/n is whipped
Ron: nah just horny

***

*come into the Potions late with Hermione looking flustered*
You: sorry I'm late, I was doing something important
Hermione: hey I'm something important *bows to the class*

***
Hermione: want to study with me
You: my fish just died
Hermione: ohh I'm sorry, how?
You: it drowned, I need some time alone
Hermione: ok I understand love
*two minutes later*
Hermione: that bitch

***
*Harry and Ron minding their business*
you: *your phone starts ringing*
Ron: you still call your dad daddy?
You: *makes direct eye contact with Ron while answering the phone* hey Hermione
Ron: WHAT
Harry: *harrys phone rings*
Ron: uh Harry not to be rude but your dad is dead so how is your 'daddy' calling you
Harry: *makes direct eye contact with Ron while answering* Hey Draco
Ron: WHAT
You: *talking to Hermione on the phone* Hermione I knew it Harry and Draco are a thing, you owe me ten galleons miss-oh-OH no I'll take the second option please, ok meet me in our dorm, bye daddy.
You: it's been great guys but I gotta go
————————————————-
A/N: this has been in my drafts since the 20th of December so uh here it is
Hope you enjoyed
Byeee
-Autumn